


Those Hard Days

by eliniel



Category: The Outsiders (1983), The Outsiders - All Media Types, The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Brother-Sister Relationships, Child Abuse, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Drug Use, F/M, Female Friendship, Friendship, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Male-Female Friendship, Rape Recovery, Recovery, Sisterfic, Swearing, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-01-15 08:03:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 30
Words: 53,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18494800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eliniel/pseuds/eliniel
Summary: Rae’s brother always made sure she was tough as nails. But when her father flips her world upside down, will she find that there’s a limit on how strong she can be?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been around for around for over a decade. When I first created Rae, I was a lonely teenager desperate for a group of friends as close as the boys in The Outsiders. She was a lot like me, in a way, and she is probably the one character I have that I feel the closest to. As I grew up and matured, I took a good look back at this fic and decided it needed a major facelift- what the hell did 15 year old me know about life? Anyway, after a lot of work I think I'm ready to present the new Rae Lee Winston to everyone. I hope you enjoy.  
> **Note 1: Prologue/Epilogue are in First Person POV. There rest will be in Third Person POV.  
> **Note 2: The rape in this story is not graphic & fade-to-black. It happens in the first chapter and is reffered to throughout the rest of the story, but no other sexual abuse is present afterwards.

Look, I ain’t here cause I wanna be, ya know? I don’t like talkin’ to people ‘bout our problems, but the court ordered that I do this...and if I don’t try, I gotta keep comin’ til I do. So, I ain’t gonna hassle ya. I’ll tell ya what ya wanna know and I’ll start from the beginning.

Thanks, but no. I don’t smoke. Is that really somethin’ you should be askin’ a teenager?

I know you wanna know about my life- and my brother’s too. It ain’t been easy, I’ll tell you that. I know you wanna know about...well, what happened and how I ended up in this situation.

Yeah, I know I’m gonna have to start acknowledging it by name. This is only the first session, ain’t it? Give me a little time, huh? Shit.

Oh, sorry. I’ll try to hold my tongue.

Anyway.

Nothin’ ever went right in my brother’s life- or mine, either, obviously. I mean, I'm sittin’ here with a dead friend, a dead brother, and prob'ly a mountain of problems.

I don’t remember much about my early childhood. I know that my father wasn’t always a drunk drug addict. Dally told me at the beginning he was real nice. I dunno why that changed or when it changed, but I guess it did. My earliest memory is of when I was three and he'd already done his changing. My brother was five. He’d already been knocked around enough to be angry. Real angry.

But he always took those beatings willingly if it meant that I didn't. He promised our mother he’d protect me. He-he always did, as best he could.

I-I’m okay. It’s just still...really fresh. I still can't believe he’s...Yeah.

No, I-I ain't sure if he ever did to Dally what he did to me. Sometimes, I thought my brother would drop hints, ya know? But he never came out and said it. He never...wanted to talk about it when I asked. That just wasn’t his way. Maybe if he had, he would...

What?

Oh, yeah. He beat the shit out of my mother, too. She was always apologizin' to us. Thinkin’ back on it now, it was real heartbreakin’. I can't remember a time when mom didn't have a black eye.

We lived in New York at the time and when Dally was seven he started dealin’ for the big kings. I ain’t got any idea why they’d let a little kid deal for ‘em. Maybe because they thought the cops would overlook him? Who knows, but he was good. It took three years for the fuzz to finally catch him and he got arrested, but by that time, he was hard as hell, workin’ on the streets for so long. They didn’t charge him- prob'ly thought he didn't realize what he was doin’. He knew, though. He hated school, but he was smart.

Two years later, when I was ten, our mother died.

It’s funny you should ask that. I can’t say for sure how it happened. I just remember dad comin’ home, spooked to hell, tellin’ us to pack our bags. I’m sure he thought about leavin’ us behind. I dunno why he didn’t.

Dal was pretty sure he’d done it, but there wasn’t enough proof to convict him. Either that or dad got mixed up with the wrong people and mom paid the price. I wouldn't be surprised either way. There was no funeral. No mention of her after that. Dad made sure of that.

He told us we moved to Tulsa to keep us outta trouble. Funny, ain't it?

Time went on. Dally definitely didn’t keep outta trouble for long. If you’ve seen his arrest record, you’d know that. I'd like to think he did a good job at raisin’ me, though.

Oh, yeah. He made sure I kept up with school. Didn't want me to smoke. Drink in moderation and only ‘round people I trusted. If I'd ever been in trouble with the cops, I'm sure he woulda beat my head in. Not really, ya know, but I definitely woulda ended up with an earful. I think he didn't want me to end up like him. He wanted me tough, smart- but not hard.

We met the Curtis's not long after we moved here. Their parents took us in and treated us like their own. They fed us- and even sometimes clothed us. The boys accepted us right away. It felt nice to have a family who cared whether we had a bed to sleep in at night. We'd been on our own for so long, we forgot what love felt like.

Well, yeah, of course Dally loved me. I loved him, too. Still do. But if you knew him, you'd know he didn't show it in the normal ways. I mean, he gave me a switchblade for my thirteenth birthday for Christ sake. Kinda like a right-of-passage? But, ya know, growing up in our neighborhood it was more of a necessity.

Anyway, when the Shepards came along less than a year later, that was the end of Dal's good-boy streak. He always made sure I stayed outta trouble, though, even if Curly Shepard was my best friend. And then there was the accident that killed Mr. And Mrs. Curtis. Dal took it pretty hard. He-he went a little wild.

I wanna be clear, though- Dally never went back to dealin’. I think that was one thing Mr. and Mrs. Curtis were able to beat into his thick skull. He really didn’t like disappointing them, even in death. But, he still didn’t stay on the right side of the law unless he was at the rodeo. We needed the money. Pretty much every spare cent of what dad brought back went to booze or heroin.

Dally… Had a certain reputation, I know, but he always did right by me.

A few months back, he got picked up and went to a correctional for a while. He didn’t do it-

Don’t you look at me like that. I know my brother. The fuzz just wanted to bust him for somethin’, so they did. It was the first time he’d actually been gone for more than a few days- and, well, dad decided to turn to me to get his anger out.

I started goin’ to the Curtis's house for a while. Y'know, stayin’ there overnight. Dad didn't like that. He-he knew what happened, with their parents and all. He threatened to tell the state all kinds of things--like, uh, Darry was on drugs and gettin’ drunk at parties every night…

I don't understand why he didn't give a rat's ass-uh, sorry-about Dally not comin’ home, but the second I didn't, he lost his fu-damn mind.

I was scared, though, ya know? I didn't want the boys to get split up just because I couldn't handle gettin’ knocked around a bit. I mean, Dally’d been gettin’ it for years, right?

Why didn't I go to the state about my father? You're kiddin’ me, right?

You heard what the social worker said, right? They wanted to ship me off to some family I don't even remember back in New York and I couldn’t come back ‘til I turn eighteen. I didn't want to leave my friends, or my brother.

In the end, though, I guess it didn't matter, huh? In the end I couldn’t take it and I’m in this whole mess because I tried to run away.

I-I know that ya want the story.

Please just let me-this is really hard. Just give me a minute, yeah?

I know, deep breaths.

 

Okay, I’m ready.


	2. Violation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Note: As mentioned previously, this chapter contains a fade-to-black rape scene. It is not graphic, but I don't want to trigger anyone. There is mention of this incident throughout the rest of the story, but this is the only sexual abuse that happens.

Rae stepped outside, the backpack in her hand sagging to the ground as her cold, blue eyes swept over her house. It was dark and the nights were starting to get cool. The wind was rustling the dying leaves in the few trees that surrounded the yard and driveway. Her brother’s cologne wafted up from the flannel shirt she’d swiped from his room and the tails whipped around her body. After pushing her dark hair out of her face, she turned her back on the house.

She slung the bag up, squared her shoulders, and lifted her head. This was the hardest thing she'd ever done. The fights she’d been in- hell, even living on the streets of New York- didn’t compare to the ache she felt in her chest right now. She had a great family- well, they were friends, really, but they all treated her as a sister. She had a brother who kept her as safe as he could, even if he was in the Cooler more days lately than she could count. She inhaled the scent of his cologne again as she pulled the shirt closer around her body. She’d miss him the most. 

After they’d moved to Tulsa and the Curtis outfit took them in, Dally had always encouraged her to hang with him (except at the rodeos, of course, since that’s where he picked up most of his girls and he didn’t want no kid sister annoying him while he did “an honest day’s work”). He’d said the Curtis’s were a “wholesome group of kids” and that she “needed wholesome in her life.”

Well, as wholesome as you can get in the hood, she supposed. To their credit, Mr. and Mrs. Curtis did try to whip them into upstanding citizens before they passed.

She loved them all dearly, but she definitely idolized her brother, even if he was an awful influence, and she knew he loved her even if she annoyed the hell out of him sometimes. Only the thought of him angry stayed her feet. She didn't really want any of them to worry, but she couldn't stay. She couldn’t handle this anymore. More importantly, she couldn’t burden them with her problems. The Curtis brothers had too much on their plates with their parents gone and the eyes of the state constantly watching them. Her brother, too, had more than he could handle with the fuzz always on his tail.

Rae took a deep breath and steeled herself, lest all her courage evaporate. She took the first step off the porch. 

Behind her, the door creaked open and she knew she’d stalled there too long.

"Where d’ya think you’re goin’, girl?" the slurred voice of her drunken father pierced her thoughts.

This was exactly why she couldn't stay. Her father’s fist and the newest bruise on her side weighed heavily on her mind. 

Rae’s expression went dark, but she kept going. She heard him stumble down the front steps after her. “Get back in ‘ere."

"Fuck you," she said, simply. 

His pace quickened behind her. She shivered. Her father terrified her real good. When he was drunk, he was dangerous and he was almost always drunk. She had a bad feeling, but she always did before getting a sound beating. Rae gritted her teeth.

"I said stop, girl," he growled. She urged her feet to go faster but he was on the warpath and his quick but clumsy strides still outmatched hers. She took off running, trying to gain some distance between them but before she could get very far, she tripped over a stone buried in the dirt of the driveway.

He took the opportunity to grab ahold of the flying, loose strap of her bag and jerked her backwards before she could fall. She fell against him, but quickly freed herself of the other strap and lunged away. Her father reached out to grab her shoulder. He spun her around to face him and she lost her balance. He backhanded her across the cheek and she stumbled back, tripping over her own feet. She landed hard on the ground, the impact hard enough to send a shock of pain up her spine. The movement rustled up a cloud of dirt around her. He tossed her backpack to the ground, out of her reach. She saw the glint of her switchblade in the light of the porch, peeking its way out of the side pocket and cursed herself for not keeping it on her. Dally would sure ream her good for it later.

"Do what I tell ya to do, when I tell ya to do it, ya hear? We’ve been over this before, you little ingrate," he grunted and threw his beer bottle to the ground. It shattered, the stray pieces of glass and leftover liquid flying everywhere. “Or do ya want them little hood friends o’ yers to have even more problems, huh?” 

Rae covered her head to shield her face and as soon as she was clear, she turned to go for her backpack, but her father shoved his foot into her back and forced her down. She saw his shadow looming over her on the ground and panic started to rise in her chest. Desperately, she tried to crawl out from under him, but he pressed down harder on her spine. She clenched her teeth to keep from crying out.

Her father laughed at her struggle. Suddenly, she felt a sharp pain in the back of her head and she slumped onto to dirt. Her ears started ringing. Everything went fuzzy, and then black.

It was real nice sorta black, too. No dreams, no nightmares. It was quiet and peaceful. She wished could’ve stayed there longer but-

“Get the fuck outta here!”

The sound of someone shouting threw Rae back into hectic reality. She had no idea how long she’d been out but she was lying on her back now. Her body shivered against the chill and her head was throbbing where she’d been struck. She heard feet moving around a lot, skidding around in the dirt; a fight- or a beating. Skin against skin. More shouting. The sound of solid wood connecting with skin and a loud grunt. Someone falling to the ground, and scrambling away. Hands slid under her back and lifted her into a sitting position. Barely conscious, she cried out and started fighting, thinking it might be her father again.

"Fuckin’ Christ, quit it!" a rough, familiar voice commanded, a strong hand grabbed both of hers. Rae forced her eyes opened. Dally's face filled her vision. He was the one who was holding her. Not their father. Relief washed over her and she tightly curled her shaking hands around his. 

Darrel Curtis stood a few feet back with a baseball bat in hand, watching the woods behind the house. She was still shivering, but she couldn't tell if it was because she was cold, scared, or both. Her eyes burned and a few tears leaked from her eyes before she could stop them. She blinked a few times, trying to clear her vision.

"D-Dally?" Rae said between shivers. His face held an expression of barely-concealed rage, his ice blue eyes blazing, as he took in the sight of his kid sister. She thought maybe there was something else there too. Was it...fear? Dally tore the leather jacket off his back and laid it over her. It was the fur-lined one, and it was warm.

"Yeah, sis, it’s me. He's gone," her older brother nearly whispered. To anyone else, it might have sounded endearing. But to Rae, he looked like a bomb and if he’d spoken any louder, he would have probably blown. Despite the hardness in his voice, he gently brushed the tears from her cheeks and pushed the stray hair out of her face.

"What-what happened?" Rae stuttered, teeth chattering. Dally stared at her in silence for a few moments, the cogs whirring in his head. She watched his face, his haunted eyes rimmed with red. He eventually lifted his jacket for her to see under it. He chewed on the inside of his mouth and looked away as she peered down. Her jeans and underwear were tugged halfway down her legs. Her eyes glazed over and she looked away as well, anger and dread pooling in the pit of her stomach.

“Rae, I’m-” There was an unmistakable, but damn near imperceptible quiver in his voice.

"Come on, guys. We need to go," Darry said, quietly. Dallas took his sister’s hands again and lifted her to her feet. Everything hurt and she staggered. He grabbed her before she fell, and his jacket dropped to the ground. He held her steady as she pulled her pants back up. 

"We can’t call the cops” Dally decided, not taking his eyes off of Rae. She winced as she bent over to pick up the jacket, gripping his arm for balance. “Can she stay with you tonight? I'll-I'll figure out what to do later.”

“Yeah, of course.” 

“Rae, let’s go get you some clothes.” He started leading her back to the house. She took a few steps out of the way to grab her backpack and silently followed him.

"I'll wait out here," their friend offered, clutching the baseball bat tight in one hand, "and make sure that he doesn't come back."

"Thanks, man," He opened the door to the house and went straight to her room. There wasn’t much besides a bed and a dresser. Dally went about searching through her closet. He took one of her jackets off a hanger and threw it behind him. It landed on her bed. "Grab some clothes and do it quickly. Where's your backpack?" Rae set his leather jacket down and dropped her bag on top of it. He went to her dresser and opened the top drawer, a look of confusion spreading over his features at how barren it was.

"Here," she answered and a long moment of silence between them commenced. She stared down at it and started dusting it off. He watched the dirt fall onto the covers of her bed. "Clothes are already in the bag." She unbuttoned her dust-covered shirt and shoved it into his arms, then pulled on one of the few a plain t-shirts left in her chest of drawers and slipped into the fraying jean jacket Dally had grabbed. He threw the shirt to the floor and grabbed her by the collar, murder in his eyes and a hint of panic in his voice. Rae swore if Dally had been any more pissed, she’d probably be able to see steam coming out his ears. She braced herself for the reaming of the century.

"What did ya think you were doin' out there this late? And where was your knife? Didn’t I teach you anythin’? You know how he gets." She tried to push his hand away but he wouldn’t budge. She mirrored his glare and he shoved her down onto the bed. "What the hell is that look for?"

"Since you were in jail again and weren’t here to get knocked around no more, he thought it was my turn," she answered, resentment lacing her tone, but decided to give it to him straight. She never could lie to him. "You've saved me from it for fifteen years but I just couldn't…I don’t know how you…I had it in my mind to run away, but I don’t think I really could’ve.” With a sigh, she reached over and pulled the switchblade out of the side pocket of her backpack. She held it up to show him. His expression darkened. 

“Why the fuck wasn’t that in your pocket? Why didn’t you just go to Two-Bit’s or Darry’s? Hell, even Shepard’s would’ve done. However much I hate that stupid kid, Curly wouldn’t say no to you.” His voice started rising, the time bomb ticking again. He wiped his hand down his face, frustrated. “I never thought my own sister could be this stupid.” The anger in her own gut started ballooning. Like brother, like sister. 

“He caught on and threatened to report Darry as unfit. He didn’t care if you didn’t come home anymore, but he sure as hell did if I didn’t.” She was sure she heard her own voice wavering. 

Dally was shocked for a few seconds, his breath cut short. His face betrayed nothing, but she could tell. She knew him well enough. He backed off and crossed his arms over is chest.

“Why didn’t you come and tell me?”

“What could you have done from jail?” she snapped. His eyes turned to fire. Her own anger evaporated into shame as she watched him and then lowered her eyes. It wasn't his fault he was picked up on a trumped-up charge. “Sorry.” She stood up, quickly, and went to gather her things. “Let’s just go.” He grabbed her arm and swung her around. Rae’s eyes widened and she tensed as her father's face flashed in the place of her brother's. 

"Hey, I’m still talking to you-," he started, voice rising again, but was cut short by the look on her face. He took a steadying breath rested his arms over her shoulders. “Look, don’t- don’t apologize. It ain’t your fault.”

"It is my fault," she insisted, turning away from him again. Her insides were tying themselves in knots and her eyes were burning. She didn’t want him to see. “You said it yourself! If I wasn’t-”

"No, Rae, I was wrong. This is my fault for not bein’ here when I knew…” His voice trailed off, strangling on the last few words. “That old fuck is sick. Always has been," Dally said, pulling his sister against his chest. Her back straightened against him. Was-was he hinting at something? Her stomach soured at the thought. 

“Did he-”

“Forget it,” he shushed her and wrapped his arms tightly around her shoulders. “I’m sorry, kid,” he sighed. She tried to relax, breathing in the scent of his cigarettes and cologne. 

“Dally, I feel so weak,” she confessed. His arms tightened in response, but she felt his body go rigid behind her. 

"Hurry up!" Darry shouted from outside. His voice made her jump and her brother released her. "We don't got all night."

"Yeah, yeah. We’re comin’!" Dally called back, then looked back down at her. "Come on." Rae searched his face. His eyes were still hard and dangerous, but his other features had softened. She nodded and quickly wiped a tear away from her cheek, then went to running fingers through her hair to comb out the knots as he hoisted her backpack over his shoulder. They went back out to meet Darry and head to the Curtis house.

The walk over was mostly quiet. Dally and Darry talked quietly amongst themselves, but she didn’t care to listen in and opted to stare at the ground. Eventually, her brother retracted in on himself, lost in thought as he smoked a cigarette. She noticed his hands visibly shaking- probably an after-effect of the adrenaline. Either that, or he was really spooked. 

When they finally got to the house, both boys helped her inside. Dally sat her down on the couch while Darry shooed his brothers to their room.

"Darry will take care of you tonight, alright?”

“You’re leaving again?” she asked, panic climbing up her throat. She gripped his arm, nails digging into the sleeve of his jacket. He hesitated for a moment before biting his lip and nodding.

“Relax. I’m just going to Buck’s. He’ll help me hunt that fucker down and beat the shit outta him. Maybe worse.” She looked down at her lap and released his arm. He sat forward and took her hands. “I’ll be back soon and we’ll be together.”

"Yeah, sure," Rae said, in a low voice.

“I will,” he tried to assure her, flashing her a smile. “A drunk idiot like him can’t be that hard to find. Don’t ya trust me?” He stood back up.

“‘Course I do.” He ruffled her hair. Darry appeared, carrying a couple of pillows and a blanket. Her brother nodded in his direction, the smile replaced with something more serious, and was out the front door.

A small, terrible feeling started creeping through her body. She didn’t want Dally to go. She never did. But, she really wanted her father to pay. Darry knelt in front of her and put a reassuring hand on her arm.

"He always comes back, right?” She was silent but nodded, sadly. “Are you alright?"

"I don’t know," she replied. He watched her for a few seconds, concern in his eyes, as she tried to keep her expression neutral but her face was starting to crumble.

"Don't worry. You will be."

“I want Dally to-”

The two younger Curtis brothers came back into the room, halting her comment. Even dazed, she didn’t miss the look of warning Darry gave them. It was easier to keep herself together with the others in the room.

"Hey, Rae," Sodapop said. "Haven't seen ya in a while. What's up?" They both took in the sight of her, completely covered in dirt.

"What happened? Are you alright?" the youngest, Ponyboy, asked. When she didn't answer, the two boys exchanged glances.

"Rae?" Soda asked.

"Sorry," she replied, quickly. “Been a long night. Just tired.”

"Enough. You two get to bed. We'll have a chat in the mornin’," Darry suggested. Soda nodded, but Pony opened his mouth as if he wanted to argue.

"Night," Soda said, quickly, and dragged his younger brother out of the room by the arm. Darry set the bed clothes on the couch.

"If you need anythin’ at all, come and wake me up, okay?" She nodded, but couldn’t bring herself to make eye contact. "Goodnight, Rae."

She nodded again and he left for his own room, leaving her alone. Her eyes welled with tears and she took a deep breath, willing them away. Dally wouldn’t want her to cry. She needed to be more like him- tough.

She closed her eyes and leaned forward, head in her hands, thoughts running wildly. She dug the heels of her palms in her eyes. After a few minutes of sitting silently, she got up and slowly began making her bed.


	3. Steady

"Rise and shine!" Two-Bit's voice said, way too happy and way too early. Rae mumbled something about leaving her alone, and rolled over so her back was facing him. "Oh, come on, kid. Don’t be like that. Ain’t you usually a morning person?" She sighed and rolled back over with her eyes open, to see Two-Bit's smiling face looking down at her. She squinted, the sun from the window behind him shining brightly. It made him look like god damn Jesus Christ. Except, well, with greasy hair. 

"Your smile’s too bright. Turn it down," Rae complained.

"Oh, very funny," Two-Bit chuckled, ignoring her demand.

"What time is it, anyway?" she asked, groggily. He looked over his shoulder to the clock on the wall.

"’Round nine. Time to get up!" he exclaimed. He grabbed her arm and pulled her off the couch. Her body was really sore from the night before and she winced. She was still fully clothed with jacket and shoes. Still covered in dirt. Head still throbbing. 

"Lay off, would ya?" Rae asked him, pulling her arm away just as Steve walked into the room. Two-Bit looked her up and down, his smile suddenly gone, and confusion crossing over his face. She reached back and felt the goose egg that had formed on the back of her head. It was tender and she thought she maybe felt a little dried blood coating her hair. “What in the world happened to you?”

“Just got beat up a little is all.”

“A little?”

"Mornin’, kiddo," Steve said over Two-Bit’s question as he shoved some cake in his mouth. “Glad to see you’re finally up.”

"Yeah, yeah," she sighed, ignoring the question, and inspected her fingers for red specs. Steve and Two-Bit looked at each other. Darry walked into the front room from his bedroom pulling a black shirt over his head.

"Oh, good. You're here," he said to the other boys, running a hand through his wet hair. The screen door slammed shut behind them. Johnny stood in the doorway, slouching, with his hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket. "Hey Johnny." The small boy nodded. Rae noticed the cuts on his face finally starting to disappear, but the bruise that covered his entire cheek was still dark. 

"Rae, shower," Soda said, stepping out of the steaming bathroom, only wearing his jeans. She nodded and went to the bathroom, carrying her backpack. She thought she heard Darry assemble the boys in the front room as she closed the door. She assumed he was going to tell them. 

Rae let the hot water flow over her hair and body, washing the dirt down the drain. Now that she was alone, grief swelled in her chest. She scrubbed her skin with a washcloth until it was raw and the water burned. The roaring in her head turned into a dull throb, but it made room for her to think. Flashes from the night before ran through her mind and she gripped the windowsill until her knuckles were white and she thought her nails would break. Her jaw clenched and she crouched down into the tub, trying not to sob, but letting her hot tears mingle with the water. She didn’t want her friends outside the door to hear.

Once she got it all out, she dried off and dressed. She wiped the fog from the mirror. Her cheek was swollen from where she’d been hit, and a small cut along her jawline. The beer bottle her father and smashed must have still got her. Rae held her own gaze for a few short seconds but, quickly broke it, and refused to look back. She reached into her backpack and pulled out her comb.

They were still having their meeting when she went to open the bathroom door. They were talking loud enough to be heard through the wood.

“Shouldn’t they go to the police?” Ponyboy asked.

“No, stupid,” Steve argued. “If they went to the fuzz, they’d take her away and put her in a home. No way would Dally be judged fit to care for her with his record.”

“Steve,” said Darry’s exasperated voice. “Could ya’ll quiet down? I’m sure she doesn’t want to be treated-”

Before anyone could say anything else, Rae swung the door open and joined them, combing through her wet hair. Darry stopped mid sentence and they all stared at her. She blinked back at them before throwing her comb back into her bag and taking a seat on the couch between Ponyboy and Two-Bit. The room was tense and silent, all of them unsure of what to say. Frustration pooled in her chest. Darry sure as hell was right. She didn’t want to be treated differently and they were off to a horrible start. 

"So, uh, anyone want a real breakfast?" Darry asked, finally, breaking the tension. He gave a pointed glance to Steve who had chocolate crumbs all over his front.

"Johnny and I want some," Ponyboy said, as he looked towards his small friend, who nodded. 

"Me too," Soda said, after clearing his throat. He elbowed his friend in the side.

“Yeah, sure,” Steve replied, softly, and started dusting off his shirt.

"What about you, Rae?" Darry asked. She shook her head. The thought of food made her want to hurl.

"I’m okay, thanks," she replied He stared at her with a frown.

"Alright, but if you do get hungry, tell me," Darry relented, but muttered something about Dally under his breath. He retreated into the kitchen. It got quiet again, making the tightness in her chest rise further. 

"TV?" Rae asked, trying to calm the feeling and to get the boys to talk, again. She looked around at her friends, but her eyes landed and stayed on Two-Bit, the television enthusiast.

"Sure," he said and moved to turn it on. She shrugged and sat quietly as they focused on the show. Soda and Steve started talking quietly amongst themselves and a while later, Darry called them in to eat. Rae stayed behind as the group piled in around the small table. Her headache was threatening to come back.

As soon as they had all left the room, she laced her feet up inside her Converse and went outside, closing the door gently behind her. It was still chilly out. She sat down on the top step and leaned her head against the pillar beside her. She closed her eyes. Maybe the cold would help her head. 

A while later, someone tapped her shoulder. Rae almost jumped out of her skin, but twisted around to see Two-Bit standing behind her. How long had it been? Had she fallen asleep again? Her wet hair was plastered to her face where she had rested her head. She brushed it off her cheek and over her shoulder.

"Mind if I join ya’?"

"Nah.”

He sat down next to her. Rae hugged her knees to her chest.

"We know," Two-Bit said, sadly.

“I know,” she huffed. “I heard Darry talkin’ ‘bout it.” He nodded and put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her to him.

"We’ll get through this, ya know?" She shrugged, but let herself relax into his side. She rested her head on his shoulder. He sighed. "I want to kill that bastard.”

"Join the club," Rae said. Thoughts of the night before ran through her head again. "It was my own fault.”

“Don’t you say that,” he said, laying his head on top of hers.

“But, it was,” she insisted. “I shouldn't have been-”

“Rae Lee Winston, you listen to me,” Two-Bit said sharply, lifting his head quickly and cutting her off. He looked at her, a harsh look in his eyes. She stayed her tongue. “It ain’t no one’s fault but his.” She sighed through her nose, but didn’t push it. “If Dally heard you talkin’ like that, he’d beat your head in.”

“He gave me a pretty damn loud earful last night,” she said, bitterly. “Anyway, what’s done is done. Ain’t nobody who can change it now.”

"Ain’t that the truth,” he said with a nod. “But if you need a place to stay, you come right on over. My couch is always open to you. You’re never going back to that house. We’ll make sure of it." Rae did manage a real smile at that, however small.

"Thanks, Two-Bit but, I don’t want to bother you with my shit.”

"You’re no bother, Rae," her friend stressed. "Don’t you worry about that. You and Dally have one of us since you moved here. You're good with us and you know it. Plus, my mother loves you." She snaked her arm around his back and squeezed.

"Thank you."

"No problem, kid. That's what I'm here for," Two-Bit said, with a smile. When she let go of him, he caught her smiling too. "Come on. Let's you get inside. Your arms are cold. You don’t gotta get sick on top of everything else." He stood up and offered her a hand. She took it and he hoisted her up. They were about to step inside when someone walked up behind them.

"Rae?" Dally’s voice asked. The other two turned around to find her brother coming through the front gate, finishing off a smoke. A hopeful feeling rose in her chest.

"Hey, Dally," Two-Bit said. Her friend turned and shook her brother’s hand. "We were just goin’ back inside. I think there’s some leftover food if you want some breakfast." Dally nodded and followed them inside.

“Sure, thanks, man.” The rest of the gang was back in the front room. They all looked up when the three walked in. 

"Hey, Dally," Johnny greeted him. 

“Hey Johnnycake,” Dally said with a nod, then turned to Darry.

"Can I, uh, talk to ya in the kitchen?" he asked.

"Sure," Darry said, and got up from the armchair he was sitting in. He led Dally into the kitchen. 

Rae frowned as she watched her brother leave the room. Two-Bit nudged her arm and held out a deck of cards. 

“Rummy?”

“I guess,” she said and sat down across from him on the floor.

As he dealt, she tried to listen to his chatter about his mother and sister, but she couldn’t concentrate. Dally was here, so that meant he was back, right? Had he found their father?

After a few hands, she spied her brother watching from the kitchen doorway, leaning against the frame, a frown on his face. He lifted himself up and walked towards them.

"Yeah and then- Oh, hey, Dally," Two-Bit said, cutting his story short. Rae looked up at her brother. She followed him as he knelt down beside her and took in his face. He looked tired with dark circles under his eyes and stubble coming in on his chin.

"Could ya take her tonight?" Dally asked. “I don’t wanna impose on Darry. He doesn’t need the added trouble.”

"Hell, yeah! We'll have a party!" Two-Bit exclaimed. Rae huffed a silent laugh.

“Nothin’ too wild,” her brother said, shoving his finger into Two-Bit’s chest. Her friend laughed.

"Don’t you worry about that. I'll take her as long as my mom lets me."

"Thanks, man.”

"Yeah, no problem, brother.” Dally focused his attention on his sister.

“Darry’s gonna drop ya off at the Dingo later today.” She nodded. “Buck and I were up all night- I’ve gotta get some sleep, but I wanna have a chat with ya.” She nodded again. “I’ll see ya later.” She watched him walk away from her again and the hopeful feeling she’d had earlier gave way to disappointment. Her chest felt constricted. Why couldn’t Dally just sleep in Soda’s old room for now? It’s not like anyone was using it.

Two-Bit noticed her mood sour. 

“You know Dally,” he said while dealing out another hand, trying to reason with her. She sighed heavily through her nose and turned her cards over. “He’ll be back.” 

“I know. I just wish he’d stop leavin’.” 

It was more than a wish, although she didn’t want to admit it. Rae needed him to help keep her steady.


	4. Disappear

Dally walked Rae back to the Curtis house after he’d forced her to eat some fries. Eating made her stomach churn- but she didn’t have the strength to be stubborn. She watched the run-down sidewalk go by under her feet as he talked. 

“He disappeared,” Dally explained, sucking on his cigarette. He exhaled the smoke over his shoulder so it wouldn’t be in her face. “Buck and I went all over town lookin’. Prob’ly layin’ low with one of his dealers in case we went to the cops.” She shoved her hands in the pockets of her jacket and nodded. “He can’t have gone too far. We’ll get him soon. Ya know that, right?”

“‘Yeah,” she answered him, but she knew the disappointment was spelled out on her face.

“Hey, kid,” her brother started, flicking his smoke out into the road. “It’s okay.” He reached out and patted her back, then rested his arm across her shoulders. “I...I know it’s been shit, but it’s gonna turn out fine. Would I lie to you?” The edges of her lips tugged upwards a little, and he nodded approvingly, even if his eyes seemed downcast. “That’s it. Now, get inside,” he ordered, squeezing her with the arm draped around her and then shoved her inside the gate.

Rae watched him walk away from her again, torn. She wanted him to catch their father and put the fear of Christ in him, for sure. But, she also really wished he’d just stay put for a while. The edges of her mouth drooped back down. The turmoil she’d felt the night before started rising up again and she tried to push it back down. Or maybe it was the fries. When she came back to reality, she was white-knuckling the links of the fence. After releasing the metal and shaking her cramped hands out, Rae closed the gate and turned to go up the worn-down wooden steps but the screen door slammed shut and Two-Bit appeared in her way, slinging her backpack over his shoulder. The sight of him helped turn her mood a little.

"We're gonna drop your stuff at my place and then go do somethin’," he said, skipping down the steps. He threaded his arm through hers as he passed, forcing her to turn with him, and headed down the sidewalk.

“What?”

“Oh, hell, I dunno. Somethin’ fun?”

“Knowin’ you, Two-Bit, ‘fun’ is walking around a store for an hour just so you can lift somethin’.”

“It was two hours and it was damn well worth it,” he replied, patting the pocket he kept his prized blade in.

They walked in silence for a few minutes.

"Ya know, I can carry my own bag," she said, and tried reaching for it.

"Nope," he simply said, and switched it to the other shoulder. Rae wanted to argue, but she let him do as he pleased.

When the pair reached Two-Bit's house, she took in the sight of his large room.

"You never did tell me how you managed to steal the biggest room in the house," Rae mused as he tossed her backpack onto his unmade bed and grabbed some money from the top drawer of his dresser. 

"My mom said she didn't need such a big room when my dad ran out, so she gave it to me. I think she just didn’t want to be reminded of him. Suzie was awfully jealous.” He paused for a moment and looked around at his little collections. “Shit, even with the couch and the king-sized in here, I still can't seem to fill it.”

"Surprising, considerin’ all the stuff you steal," Rae said with a snort. She followed him out of his room and to the front door.

"It’s mostly small shit," he said, with a laugh, as they made their way back outside. “Hard to loot large stuff.”

“So, where we goin’?”

"Hadn’t really thought about it, to be honest. Where do you wanna go? Nothin’ wild. You heard Dally." Rae thought for a moment, then shrugged. 

"I dunno. When you said we were goin’ out, I assumed you already had somethin’ in mind." They started walking in a random direction, both silently thinking. "How about the roller rink?" she suggested. "Haven't been there in ages."

"You sure? It’s a pretty big Soc hangout," Two-Bit reminded her.

“Mm…” She bit her lip in thought and put her hands in her pockets.

“And you’re feelin’ up to it?”

“Well, I’m a little sore, I guess, but I should be okay.”

“Not-uh-not really what I meant.”

“I know what ya meant.”

"Alright,” he relented. “Let's go. But we’re gonna get the boys to come so we won’t be amongst the bless-ed elite by ourselves.” They headed back towards the house again. “If it’s too much, you let me know and we’ll go right away,” he stressed.

Once back at Two-Bit’s, they called up the Curtis's house to see if the brothers wanted to come. Johnny was already there, doing his homework with Ponyboy. Steve was getting ready to head home, but Darry said he’d send them and Soda over. Darry himself had a rough day at work and didn’t feel up to showing.

At her friend’s urging, Rae also dialed up the Shepard’s. Just like Dally and Tim, she and Curly were friends, although they didn’t get their kicks by punching each other’s lights out. He was one of the first few people she’d fallen in with when they came from New York, aside from the Curtis outfit. His younger sister, Angela, answered the phone and let them know, in a very long and rambling way, that Curly was currently indisposed- sleeping off a fight and a hangover. She sounded a little off her rocker- high as a damn kite. 

Rae shook her head, and hung up the phone. If that girl wasn’t careful, she’d find herself back in a rehab center soon enough. She and Two-Bit left to drive his beat-up, old car to the rink. They paid to get in, rented skates, and decided to have a few go-arounds while they waited for their group to show. The Socs that were there kept a right close eye on them but didn’t give them shit.

Rae stayed close to Two-Bit as they went out and rolled around a bit, grabbing on to each other as they slid around the arena. After a few minutes of fumbling around, they let go of each other, but he was still having some issues with balance.

"Just skate around edges til ya get used to it," she urged, watching him with an amused smile. She did another turn around the rink with Two-Bit holding her arm for balance. “Shouldn’t they be here by now? It ain’t that far of a walk.”

"Speak of the devil," her friend said, nodding towards the entrance. The gang stood there, handing over their loose change to the guy behind the counter. Rae's eyes lit up when she saw them, and grabbed Two-Bit's wrist to pull him off the floor. She stopped directly in front of the others in one fluid motion, but her friend nearly ran into her back.

"Hey, guys" Rae greeted them. She heard various greetings come back her way. “Why don’t ya meet us on the floor when ya got your skates on?” She turned to go back onto the skate floor, Two-Bit in tow.

“Hey, Rae-wait-” Before she could stop, she crashed into a passerby who also had on a pair on skates. They both lost their balance slid to the floor. Her elbow hit the tile pretty hard as she landed on her side. Steve immediately bent down and grabbed her arm to hoist her back up. 

“Gotta careful, kid.” She hissed at the pain in her arm, but it didn’t seem broken. Definitely bruised.

With the help of his friend, the person she’d run into was also back on his feet. They were both tall with dark hair, wearing the clothes that Rae and her friends would usually mock. Two girls came to a halt behind the boys. All of them were Socs and that just spelled trouble.

"You okay, man?" 

"Of course I'm not. I just got knocked down by this bitch!" he said, darkly, as wave his hands in her direction. His eyes narrowed in on her. "Maybe we should teach her a lesson, yeah?" She glared back at him, anger simmering under the surface of her skin. Her hands balled into fists, but before she could have a go at him, Soda stepped in between them, holding her back with his arm. 

“Lay off, pal. It was an accident,” he interjected. An electric tension passed between them as they stared each other down. 

“Is it ever an accident with you, hoods?” The kid smirked at them. Rae pushed forward, sorely wanting to punch that smug face of his, but Soda’s arm in front of her was like steel. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Two-Bit’s hand slide into his pocket, slowly reaching for his switchblade. 

“Bob, can we not, tonight?” the pretty red-head behind him spoke up, probably sensing the wrongness in the air. Two-Bit paused. “You promised us a good night. It’s no fun to watch you get into a stupid fight.” He continued glaring daggers at Rae, but finally thought better of it and eased down. 

"Fine. I guess you're right," he said to his girl, heaving an overly dramatic sigh. “I guess tou’re off the hook for tonight, grease.” As they started to skate away, the two boys shoved Soda and Rae out of their way, almost knocking her over again, and went for the other side of the rink. The two girls followed them, the red-head shooting Rae a glance with a sad smile, an apology in her eyes. 

The boys glared after them, but finally sat down to put their skates on. Rae slid into the chair next to Ponyboy while she waited. She looked at the people around them. Some were still watching their group, as if they were the troublemakers. What else was new?

"How ya doin', Rae?" Ponyboy asked. She went to inspecting her elbow. It was red, but thankfully not swollen. 

"Ya know, Pone, I-I don’t really know,," she replied as he bent down to tie his skates. "I sure wish Dally was here, though," she admitted, under her breath. Her brother would’ve beat the tar outta that stupid kid, Soda be damned. Pony stood up and balanced for a few seconds, then offered her his hand.

"Would ya?" he asked. Rae smiled softly and took his hand. He sure was a sweet kid. He easily pulled her to her feet and led her out onto the skate floor. When they’d done a few laps, the pair noticed that the rest of their outfit sat on the walls bordering the rink, making stupid faces and waving at them as they passed. Rae rolled her eyes.

"They're so embarrassing," she pointed out as she flipped them the bird. Soda pointed at her and said something to Steve, who started laughing. Ponyboy chuckled and nodded.

"No kidding," he agreed with a shake of his head.

“Hey, why don’t ya’ll stop standin’ around and get your hides out here with us?” she called as they went by again.

"Ya know, Rae, you're good at this." 

"Thanks," she said with half a smile. To show off a little, she flipped around and skated backwards. Pony laughed again, but a silence stretched between them. She sensed what was coming. She flipped herself back around and prepared for his questions. He was young and curious. And he had always come to her with questions on delicate subjects he didn’t understand. Subjects he wasn’t sure how to ask Darry about.

“Hey, Rae?”

“Hmm?”

"How-how can people do things like that to others?" he asked. Rae gave him a sad smile. She wasn’t sure she had a good answer for him when she didn’t even know herself. “Why did he do it?”

"I don't really know, Pony," she started, throwing her arm around his shoulders. 

God, he was growing. Soon he’d be taller than her and she wouldn’t be able to do this anymore.

He looked at her like she was the wisest person in the world, waiting for an answer. 

“Someday, I think I’d like to know, too. But for now...”

“For now?”

“For now, we deal with what we got… And hopefully when it’s all over, I’ll come out okay.”

“Are you sure?” She removed her arm and linked it through his. Rae could feel the turmoil bubbling inside of her gut. No, she wasn’t sure, but it would have to be good enough to wish.

“I sure hope so. Havin’ the boys around, though- that sure helps a ton.” Ponyboy nodded but looked towards the floor, watching his feet move, his mind clearly still heavy. 

They skated the rest of the turns in silence and when the song ended, they joined the others again for food. After swallowing a few potato chips and a couple sips of Coke that Soda had shoved her way (probably ordered by Darry), Rae still couldn’t shake the feeling, so she wandered off to the bathroom to hide from her crowd of friends for a while.

After a few minutes of sitting in a stall, staring at her feet and holding back the tears that she desperately didn’t want to cry, she went to a sink to splash cold water on her face. While she was drying her face, the red-headed Soc from earlier that night also exited a stall. Rae could feel the girl’s eyes scanning her in the mirror as she washed her hands. She was sure her eyes were red-rimmed and her nose red, but she couldn’t bring herself to look at her own face. It seemed like the girl wanted to say something, but she kept quiet, so Rae left the bathroom.

For the rest of the night, she tried to have good time, but she found herself failing. It was around nine when they decided to leave. 

"See ya’ll tomorrow!" Two-Bit shouted across the parking lot as he led Rae back to his car.

"Later!" Soda called back. Rae gave a short wave to everyone, then dropped into the seat, her mind still heavy and growing tired. Two-bit jumped into the driver's side and they drove back to his house. Their journey was quiet. She imagined Two-Bit was probably exhausted as he’d been back up to his normal antics that night, picking pockets and poking fun at anyone he could find. Probably trying to get her to laugh.

"Looks like my mom ain’t home yet," he said when they pulled up to the dark house. The only light on was the porch light. They both got out of the car and went inside. Rae trudged back to Two-Bit's room and actually fell into his couch. It was really comfortable...

"Don't ya want a pillow, kid?" he asked. She was already halfway to dreamland and couldn’t find the words to answer him. She felt him shove a pillow under her head and drop a blanket over her body, and then everything went black.


	5. Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Seeing/talking to an abuser

Sometime in the night, Rae shot up with a gasp, drenched in sweat, and breathing hard. She wasn’t sure where she was, and the panic pumped quickly through her veins. Was she back at her house? Where was her father? Was it a dream? Tears sprung to the corners of her eyes, unable to pinpoint her location.

She heard rustling a few feet away and a lamp clicked on, illuminating the room in a dull light and forcing the demons away. Her wide eyes darted around the room and landed on Two-Bit, who was sitting up in bed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Slowly, realization spread over her.

“Rae? You okay?” he asked, uncovering himself and making his way to check on her. “You screamed.” She nodded, blinking fast, and took a few deep breaths to calm her pounding heart. 

“Just a-a dream, I think,” she said, wiping the water from her eyes with the heel of her palm. 

“Can I get ya anythin’? A glass of water or somethin’?” 

“Yeah, sure,” she whispered, still a little breathless. He left the room and she shoved out of the jacket she was still wearing. Shit, she was boiling.

By the time he returned from the kitchen, glass in hand, Rae’s breathing had evened out and she was slouched on his couch, waiting. She sat up when he entered the room and pushed her damp hair out of her face with one hand. Two-Bit handed her the glass and she drained it, feeling the cool liquid slide down her throat. He sat down on the couch, next to her.

“Tell me about it?”

“I don’t- I don’t really remember,” she admitted, laying her head back. “But I can guess.” He nodded in understanding.

“Do you-,” he started, but hesitated. She tilted her head in his direction. “You can sleep in my bed if you want. No funny business, I promise.”

Rae huffed a laugh and looked back up at the ceiling. “Nah, thanks Two-Bit. I think I’ll be okay.”

“Alright,” he said, standing to head back to his bed. He took the glass from her hands and set it on his nightstand. “Offer’s always on the table if ya change your mind.” She nodded a thanks as he settled back down. Once he was comfortable again, he clicked the light off. She slumped back onto the pillow and covered her eyes with one hand. A few hot tears streamed down her cheeks and she clenched her teeth, willing them to stop. She took one more deep breath and tried to settle back down. She wished this feeling would just fucking go away already.

When Rae opened her eyes again, the room was bright and there was a buzzing coming from the nightstand next to Two-Bit’s bed. When her eyes adjusted to the morning light, she sat up and looked over to Two-Bit's bed. He was lying flat on his back, long hair an absolute mess, obviously not hearing his own alarm. 

She threw her pillow at his face, which seemed to rouse him.

"What time is it?" he asked her, his voice thick with sleep. Finally, he heard the alarm and shut it off. “Sor-,” he said yawning, and rubbing his scalp. “-ry.” It was contagious, making her yawn as well.

“What’s with the alarm?”

“Monday, kid. School day.

Ugh. School. Right.

"We should be headin’ out soon." With a groan, she grabbed her backpack and headed towards the bathroom to change.

When Rae came out, she was wearing a fresh outfit with her long hair tamed, pulled over one shoulder. She carried her backpack back to Two-Bit's room as he was slipping his leather jacket on over a clean, blue Mickey Mouse t-shirt. Rae dropped her bag on his couch and slipped her own jacket on. He glanced into his mirror to make sure his sideburns wer perfect. While she waited, she started thinking about her homework and what was due today- 

"Shit!" she cursed. “Shit-shit-shit-shit-” He lowered his comb from his head and turned to her, confusion on his face. "My books are at the house," she replied to his un-asked question. “My homework, my projects…I didn’t even think to grab them.”

"Oh. That ain’t good." She looked at him, pleadingly. “No. Absolutely not. Can’t you miss a few assignments? You ain’t thinkin’-”

"If you come with me, it'll be okay, right?" Rae insisted, cutting him off. He opened his mouth to say something else but she stopped him. "No-no-no. I’ll-I’ll miss so much and-and I’ll have to pay for lost books. ‘Sides, Dally said the bastard’s gone, right? Hiding low?" She was sure she sounded hysterical. Panic was setting up camp in her abdomen. She didn’t care much for school, but Dally had expectations and she just didn’t disobey her brother. 

He stared at her, hard, grinding his teeth together. Finally, he sighed through his nose and relented.

"Alright, but Dally can’t find out about this," Two-Bit said. “Or we’ll both be dead. Me more than you”

"He ain’t gonna find out," Rae assured him. She glanced at the clock sitting on her friend’s nightstand.

“This is an awful idea,” he remarked, rubbing his face with a hand. “Shoulda just waited til Dally could go instead-” 

"We need to go." He groaned, but they both took off down the hall and out the front door before either of them could change their minds. She could still tell he was uneasy about the situation, completely tensed up, and to be honest, so was she.

One the way, the panic clawed up her throat and she tried to hide the deep breaths she was taking to calm down. Inhale. Everything will be fine. Exhale. Inhale. He’s not even gonna be there. Exhale. No inhale. Right? 

Too soon, they were stopped in front of the dirt driveway. Rae reminded herself, again, that her father was probably not there. That is what her brother said, right? Two-Bit started walking again, slow and alert, hand casually in the pocket he kept his knife in. Rae stood in place, sweat starting to form on her forehead and the small of her back. Her feet just wouldn’t go. She was thinking that this might've been a bad idea. When her friend noticed she was not with him, he turned back to her.

"Are you sure?" She nodded and started walking slowly, next to him. They passed a large area where the dirt had been disturbed. Two-Bit didn't say anything but, he did look at Rae, concern written all over his face. Her face was dark, and her insides threatened to jump out her throat and spill onto the ground. She tried to keep her composure, but the mask was cracking. He took her hand as her vision blurred and tears threatened to fall. Boy, he sure acted like he didn’t care but he could read people good as hell. "It's alright. I'm here." 

She took a few more long breaths, nodded, and made her way to the front door. As she went up the steps, she held his hand tighter. He followed close behind. The front door was unlocked, like that was any surprise. Everything looked the same as the night she left…

Quietly, they made their way to her room and she let Two-Bit’s hand go. There were red finger marks striped around it. Rae quickly grabbed the school books sitting on the floor next to her bed and shoved any loose papers inside the covers. She also grabbed a duffle bag from under the bed and piled the last of her clothes into it. 

When she was finished, she hoisted the bag onto her shoulder and turned back to Two-Bit. He grabbed her wrist and forced her back. 

“Ow! That-” She noticed his face was hard and serious. She followed his gaze and found her father leaning on the wall across from the doorway, arms folded in front of him, shabby as hell and stone-cold sober.

"The hell have you been?" he asked. He may not be drunk, but he was angry and that was all he needed.

"You don’t get to talk to her," Two-Bit growled, low and dangerous.

"This is Dallas's fault, isn't it? He got you hooked up with these good-for-nothing boys and now you've turned against your family," her father said with a sigh. “What? Are you fuckin’ them all or somethin’? What a fuckin’ whore.” Something in Rae’s chest cracked open and she laughed. 

"Turned against my family? What family? You ain’t my family. You’re just a no-good drunk and a sorry fuckin’ excuse for a father." She let out another harsh, short laugh. "You're disgusting.” She spit on the ground at his feet. Her voice rose, desperate and shrill. Two-Bit gripped her wrist tighter, holding her back. "And as for these 'good-for-nothin’' boys? They been more family than you ever have!" she shouted, tears freely rolling down her cheeks. Her father chuckled at her outburst and shrugged, making her let out a frustrated sob.

"You’re a bastard," Two-Bit mumbled, as calmly as he could. He brought out his prized, black-handled switchblade and took Rae’s bag from her. In the next second, the blade was out, and he held it up, threateningly, towards the older man, who held his hands up but didn’t let go of that stupid, fucking smirk. She quickly retrieved her schoolbooks from the bed, then let her friend usher her out with his free hand on the small of her back.

Once they reached the end of the driveway, her books slipped out of her hands and Rae collapsed to her knees. She put her hands over her face and sobbed into them. Two-Bit tucked his blade back into his pocket and knelt on the ground in beside her, dropping her bag into the dirt. He wrapped his arm tightly around her shoulders and let her cry. 

"Hey, hey," he murmured, trying to comfort, his voice threatening to crack. “It’s-it’s alright.” He put his hand on her head and tucked it into his neck. He kept holding her and let her cry as much as she needed. The screen door slammed behind them- her father probably high-tailing it outta there. They heard fast footsteps a short while later and looked up to see Steve and Soda walking to work.

"Jesus," Soda said when he saw Rae. He set himself down on the ground in front of Rae. Steve stayed on his feet, glaring back at the house. “Are ya’ll alright?" Two-Bit nodded. Rae’s heaving sobs had quieted. Sodapop slipped his handkerchief out of his pocket and helped her dry her face. She sniffled. 

“Soda, your jeans-they’ll get all dirty.” Her voice came out as a strangled whine.

“Now, don’t you worry about that,” he assured her, folding the fabric back up and stuffing it back into the pocket of his blue work shirt. 

“What the hell ya’ll doin’ here?” Steve asked, his voice tight.

“Said she needed her books- didn’t expect that motherfucker to be home,” Two-Bit explained. Soda looked back towards the house. 

“Should we tell Dally?” he asked. “Or do ya think he’ll be long gone by the time we get him the info?”

“H-he’s gone,” Rae stuttered. 

“Yeah, we heard him leave just before ya’ll came along,” Two-Bit confirmed. 

“Probably just there to get stuff. Please don’t tell Dally.” She sucked in a breath.

"It's alright, now, Rae," Steve said, and squatted down to her eye level. He brushed a stray piece of hair out of her face.

"I know," she said with a relieved sigh and a nod. She took a deep, shuddering breath and when she exhaled, she made herself relax. “Y-you guys always make it better.”

"Go on to my house and calm down. Take the day off," Soda offered before Steve pulled him to his feet. They were already late. Rae thanked them with a weak smile. They said their hurried good-byes and were off again. 

Two-Bit and Rae slowly made their way to the Curtis house. When they got there, Tim Shepard was sitting, kicked back, in one of the armchairs, reading a newspaper Darry had left out. He looked up when the door slammed behind them.

"Hey, Tim," Two-Bit said, walking out from behind Rae, and set her bag down on the couch.

"Ain't you two supposed to be in school or somethin’?" he asked. Rae shrugged. 

“Maybe we didn’t feel like goin’ today.” He looked at her, curiously. Her eyes were still puffy and her face probably blotchy. Two-Bit went off down the hall in search of the bathroom. She sat down on the couch next to her bag and pulled the length of her hair over one shoulder.

"You Dally’s kid sister?" Tim asked. She slid her eyes toward him. "Your father, he-"

"Yes," Rae said, tightly, cutting him off. He nodded, slowly, looking her over.

"How you doin'?" he asked. Honestly, she was starting to get real sick of that question, but she bit her tongue. Tim wasn’t one to mouth-off to, either- just like Dally. 

"Alright, I guess" she answered. Her face must have shown some confusion or surprise because he shrugged.

"We all gotta stick together, don’t we?" Rae nodded. "’Sides, I seen ya hangin’ around Curly a lot and you’re Dally’s kid sis."

"You're right," she agreed, her lips tugging upward. "Thanks, Tim."

"No problem, kid," he said, standing up.

"Rae," she corrected. He laid the paper on the arm of the chair and walked over to her, holding out his hand. She grasped it, firmly, and shook. 

"You're alright, Rae," he said. "See ya ‘round." Rae nodded and watched him walk out the door. Two-Bit came back in, bottle in hand, just as Tim gently closed the door.

"Tim gone?" She nodded. 

“Yeah- prob’ly got some business to take care of if he’s on this side of town.” He shrugged, turned on the TV, and took a sip of his drink. He sat on the arm of the couch and tousled her hair. She jumped at him, trying to catch him off guard, but he quickly had her on the floor with one hand, beer, unspilled, in the other. He let her up and they both laughed softly at each other. He roughed up her hair again, but this time she let it happen and settled in to watch some cartoons.


	6. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I really wanna stay that I love this chapter. It's got some blood, some food, and some really fluffy moments. Darry may not be my favorite character but I really love how I wrote him in this chapter. Makes me all emotional and fuzzy. I hope you enjoy it, too!

When Rae heard the screen door slam shut, she peeked her head out from the kitchen. She found Johnny setting his jacket on the arm of the couch. Ponyboy followed, sifting through the mail.

"Oh, hey guys," she said. Johnny greeted her with a nod and Ponyboy went to the kitchen to find her standing over a cutting board. She was chopping up some vegetables. He dropped the small pile of envelopes on the counter and looked over her shoulder.

"What’s that?" Pony asked, curiously.

"Dinner," she replied. "What's it look like?"

"I didn't know you could cook," Johnny said, leaning against the doorway. Rae shrugged.

"I can make some things,” she said. “If Dally wasn’t home, I didn’t eat unless I made it myself.” All three of them were silent for a few moments, processing what she’d said. 

“You could’ve come here, you know,” Pony mumbled. “Darry don’t care.”

“I know.” She smiled, sadly. “But you had your own troubles after…” She looked down at the spoon in her hand. 

"What ya makin', anyway?" Johnny asked, trying to change the subject. He stole a piece of raw carrot from the cutting board and popped it into his mouth.

"Beef Stew. Hope you like it," she replied. Pony and Johnny watched her get a large pot from the drawer underneath the oven and dump the uncooked vegetables into it, along with a broth and some spices. She set it down on the stove and turned on the burner. Then, she moved a slab of beef to the cutting board and set to work slicing it into small pieces. 

"Rae!" Two-Bit's voice called, through the front screen door, his voice strained. She looked at the two boys, and then hurried to the door, wiping her hands on a kitchen towel as she went. Her eyes went wide. Her friend stood in the doorway, struggling to support Tim Shepard’s large frame. Tim's arm was around Two-Bit's shoulders. His face was beat to hell, even more so than usual. His brow was split, a scrape ran down the length of his shin under a large rip in his jeans, and his nose was dripping blood down his chin and white t-shirt. One of Two-Bit’s eyes was swollen shut and the knuckles on one of his hands bloody. Whose blood, she couldn’t say. 

"What the hell?" Rae cried as she hurried to help them. "Pony, go get a clean towel. What happened?" They set Tim down on the couch.

"Found ‘em near the lot. Bunch of kids were givin’ it to him when I got there. Didn’t get a good look at ‘em, but they were definitely Socs. Just had enough time to chase ‘em off before ol’ Tim here nearly fell off his feet. He gave it right back pretty good ‘til the end.”

"They need to stay in their own turf," Johnny commented, a visible shiver running up his spine. “It’s getting worse.” Rae noticed the unmistakable look of fear in her friend’s wide, dark eyes. She opened her mouth to say something but Ponyboy ran into the front room with a clean dish rag and held it out to her. She pressed it against Tim's forehead.

“No kidding, especially if they had the stones to pick on a Shepard,” Ponyboy concluded.

"I imagine one Greaser is as good as another and four against one is easy pickings,” she said with a frown and turned to Pony again. “Bring one more, would ya?" she asked. He immediately obeyed her and left the room again. When he came back, Two-Bit took snatched it from his hands and helped Rae clean Tim up. Eventually, he opened up his uninjured eye and peered up at her.

"Hey, kid," he said.

"Rae,” she corrected him, again. 

"Pony, do ya’ll have any bandages?" Two-Bit asked when he was finished. Tim sat up with a pained grunt and Rae helped steady him. He took the bloody dishrag from her hand and started wiping his own nose.

"Johnny, could ya check on the food?" Rae asked. He nodded and disappeared into the kitchen. Ponyboy led Two-Bit into another room in search of bandages.

"Thanks, Rae," Tim said once they were alone.

"Well, you did say we Greasers gotta stick together," she reminded him. He slowly nodded.

"Have a seat." Tim ordered, and motioned to the couch cushion next to him. She did. "You seem a lot better than this mornin’." She shrugged. “You sure you’re okay?”

"It...it was a rough morning," she admitted, quietly. He watched her closely. “I’m trying, but-,” she continued but her confession was cut short.

“Found some,” Two-Bit said as he briskly walked back into the room holding a roll of white gauze and a couple Band-Aids, Ponyboy on his heels. His knuckle was wrapped up tight.

"Why don't you stay for dinner, Tim?" He searched her face for a few more seconds, then shrugged. “We’ll get ya cleaned up and you can relax a while.”

"Why not?" He gave her a slanted smile- a lot like Curly’s. Two-Bit handed a Band-Aid to Rae, who carefully stuck it over the cut on Tim’s forehead. Tim took the roll and wrapped it around his own shin. When he was all taken care of, Rae went back to the kitchen and relieved Johnny of his stirring duty. She noticed he’d finished slicing up the meat for her so, she dropped it into the simmering liquid and covered the pot.

“Hey Rae?” Two-Bit’s voice filtered in from the other room. “There any bags of frozen veggies or some ice in there?”

“Yeah,” she called back. “I’ll bring it out in a minute.”

Half an hour later, Rae was setting the table with Johnny, when Soda and Darry walked through the front door.

“Nice to see ya’, Tim,” Darry said, laying his work belt on to the coffee table. “What the hell happened to you?” The two launched into their own quiet conversation.

"What smells so good?" Soda yelled through the house.

"Prob’ly dinner!" Rae yelled back. Soda waved at Tim and Two-Bit and went to the small dining room.

"Did you make it, Rae? What is it?" he asked, visibly excited, as he stood in the doorway, unbuttoning his work shirt. She smiled.

"Yeah. Beef Stew. Hope you like," she answered, and left Johnny to finish. Everyone else was sitting in the front room. "It's ready, guys."

"What is 'it'?” Darry asked, oblivious to the previous conversation.

"Beef Stew," Pony answered for her. 

“Really? Ma used to make a killer stew.”

“Yeah, I-I used her recipe...I hope that’s alright.” The oldest Curtis brother smiled, warmly, albeit a little sadly as he put a hand on her cheek, his face brimming with pride. 

“Of course it is.”

The boys all crowded around the small table. Rae smiled, watching them. 

“Rae, join us,” Darry demanded, motioning to the empty seat between him and Tim. She hesitated for a moment, her smile faltering, but took the seat and let Darry ladle some stew into the bowl in front of her. She pushed the food around with her spoon while she listened to her friends talk about their days and joke around. One by one, they finished and started disappearing from the table. Tim made his exit first and after thanking them, limped out the door, Johnny not far behind him. Tim spared a wink back at her before he left. Pony went to his room to work on his homework, as ordered by his brother, and Soda went with Two-Bit to play cards in the front room. In the end, only Darry was left at the table with her, but his bowl was empty.

"It was delicious, ya know. Just like mom’s. You should give it a try," he insisted, trying to coax her into eating. She looked at him out of the corners of her eyes, but lowered her head and stared into the bowl. Her stomach roiled, threateningly, at the thought.

“I want to, but…I...” He sighed and shifted closer to her. He folded his hands on the surface of the table and stared at them for a few moments, trying to find the words.

"Look, I-I know what you’re feeling. After-after...well, I didn’t want to eat, either. And I know it's only been a couple of days, but you can't let it drag you down. If you do, it’ll get worse. Believe me when I say I understand," he said. She didn't argue because of course he knew what this pain, this grief, felt like. This loss. She felt tears filling her eyes again. He leaned forward on his elbows so that he was closer to her. "Rae, it'll be alright. Let us worry about this for you. Please, eat something. We don’t want to see you waste away.”

"I'm sorry, Darry," she said, finally, her voice shaky. She felt a tear slide down her cheek. “I don’t wanna be a burden.”

"Please don’t apologize," he said. "This is not your fault. If we'd gotten there sooner- if we had just left earlier, we could’ve- We'll make sure you never go back there again. Let us help you. You know we will, without complaint. I know you an’ Dally are a lot alike but it’s okay to rely on others sometimes." Darry wiped her wet cheek, the calluses of his thumbs scratching her skin. "Come here, little sis," he said, trying to cheer her up. She gave a strangled laugh and let him pull her into a tight hug. “We love you, alright?” She nodded into his shoulder as more tears spilled out and wet his shirt.

"Thanks," Rae said as they let go. "I think I am up for some food." He nodded his approval as she picked up her spoon and started eating.

“Just promise me you ain’t gonna turn into a drunk like good ole Two-Bit, over there.” 

“Dally’d beat some sense into me if I even tried it.”

“Speakin’ of, I’ll try to find him. I know that this is all prob’ly a lot worse without him here. I don’t know what I would’a done if Pony and Soda hadn’t been here...” He got up from the table and went for the telephone.

Once she had finished eating, she went to sit with the boys in front of the TV, but Two-Bit was grabbing their jackets and her bag.

“Ready to head home? The sun’s fixin’ to go down and we gotta walk.” She took a deep breath and nodded. He handed over her jean jacket and shouldered the bag. “Mom’ll prob’ly be home tonight.” The two said their goodbyes to the Curtis brothers, a special smile reserved for Darry, and left. When they reached the house, Two-Bit’s mother was standing outside, smoking a cigarette.

"Welcome home Keith" – she was the only one who always called him by his real name, which made Rae snicker- "Hi Rae. Sleeping over again?" Rae nodded. 

“Yeah, sorry Mrs. Mathews.”

“Oh, honey, it ain’t any trouble. If ya’ll get hungry, help yourself to whatever’s in the kitchen.” She liked Two-Bit's mom. Everyone said that's where Two-Bit got his sense of humor from, but she always welcomed any of their friends with open arms. If she could ever have a second mom, that’s who Rae would pick. Mrs. Mathews smiled and let them head inside.

"I'm going to sleep," Rae declared when they got back to his room. She sat down on her makeshift bed and started unlacing her shoes. "I should probably get up early to shower.”

"You’d better, I can smell ya from here," Two-Bit joked, with a grin, dropping onto the couch, next to her.

"Very funny," Rae said with smile and shoved him with her shoulder. He got up and wandered off to change out of his jeans. While he was gone, she reached into her bag and pulled out a pair of pajama shorts and quickly changed into them. She slipped her shirt over her head, leaving the plain white camisole as her sleepshirt. Two-bit sauntered back in and dropped onto his own bed. He propped himself up on an elbow.

“Goodnight, Rae.”

“Goodnight, Keith,” she teased.


	7. Realization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Curly!!!

The next day, Two-Bit and Rae decided school was probably a good idea. Thankfully, it turned out to be a normal day. Ponyboy had noticed that she’d left her books at his house and brought them in for her. 

She’d had a hard time concentrating on her schoolwork, but that wasn't too unusual. Being Dally’s little sister, he always got on her if she didn’t do her schoolwork, but since he didn’t put much stock in his own education, it rubbed off on her. At least she was smart enough to get by without much effort. Instead, she spent most of the day shooting spitballs at the backs of people's’ heads.

Lunch was usual- sneaking out in Two-Bit's car with Johnny and Pony, and driving over to the DX where Soda and Steve worked. They had a couple of Cokes, and then went back to school for their afternoon classes. After school, Two-Bit drove home and Rae walked with Pony and Johnny. They left Johnny at his own house (his parents, thankfully, were not home), then continued on to the Curtis’s. 

"How was your day, Pony?" Rae asked after the silence between them stretched for a while. He shrugged.

"Okay, I guess. Yours?" he replied.

"Boring." The rest of the way back to the house was quiet again. The walk felt like it would take forever. When they finally got there, they found Dally stretched out on the couch, watching TV, a lit cigarette between his fingers. He looked up when they got through the door. Rae instantly brightened at the sight of him.

"Dally!," she exclaimed, almost dropping her books on the coffee table.

"Hey," he greeted both of them and put out his cigarette. He took his feet off the couch and sat up. He gave Ponyboy a pointed look that made the poor kid scurry to another room. 

"I heard somethin’ from Tim this mornin'," Dally said, when they were alone. He offered her the seat next to him. “Sit.” 

"What?" she asked, her smile disappearing at his tone. Her insides tightened and she hesitated. Something told her she was about to get an earful.

"Come on, sit down. I won't beat ya up or anythin'," he said, sensing her unease. She obeyed her older brother and dropped into the cushion next to him. "Anyway, Tim told me that ya’ll were skippin' school, yesterday."

"I wasn't feelin' to great. Two-Bit took the day off to stay with me." He nodded in understanding.

"He also told me that you'd been cryin'. I know you- I raised you- and you don’t cry for no reason." He paused for a moment. "You did, didn’t you?" Rae opened her mouth to argue but he cut her off, pointing an authoritative finger in her face. “Ya know you can’t lie to me.” She closed her mouth and sighed through her nose, silently cursing Tim. 

“I needed my school things.” Dally curled his fists into tight balls and sucked an angry breath.

“Christ, Rae, you should’ve told me and I would’ve gotten them for you,” he said, voice rising, the time-bomb starting to tick away. The familial rage they shared quickly flared up in her chest, too.

“How the hell could I? You’ve been gone, Dally!” she snapped louder than him, her face heating up. She clenched her fists in the couch on either side of her and lowered her voice. His whole body tensed up, unused to being reprimanded, especially by someone younger than him. She didn’t mean to get so mad- she really didn’t- especially not at her brother. She wasn’t mad at him- she didn’t blame but... If he’d just stop for a second and listen to her... “You left me,” she said as evenly as she could, blue glare turning sad. “You didn’t...didn’t even see if I was alright.” 

Dally stared back at her in silence, his jaw working behind a closed mouth. Finally, he dropped her gaze and looked off to the side, his eyes downcast. The ticking froze. Her anger subsided seeing him so genuinely shaken.

“Sorry,” he said, quietly. He sighed. “I’m sorry, Rae. I didn’t think-I didn’t know how…” Before he could finish and before she could help it, Rae huffed a laugh and Dally’s head shot back in her direction. “What?”

“You sure look stupid when you’re upset.” He smacked her lightly on the side of the head, but laughed as well and pressed his forehead against hers. She felt the tension leave his body.

“I promise I’ll be around more, alright?” She nodded with a smile and closed her eyes. “We’ll get through this. I’ll make sure of it.”

Before they could say anything else, someone burst through the door. The siblings separated lightning fast. Rae instantly recognized the form of her best friend.

"Curly!" she exclaimed and shot up from the couch.

“Am I interruptin’?” he asked with his stupid, crooked, sarcastic smile. She looked back down at Dally, whose expression went from soft to annoyed, the look he saved particularly for Curly Shepard. He stood up and got into Curly’s face.

“If you weren’t Tim’s kid brother, I’d beat the shit out of you,” he cursed. 

“Oh, I’d bet he’d let you, too,” Curly retorted, staring up at her older brother, that arrogant smile glued to his face. Rae rolled her eyes as an awkward silence stretched between them. Finally, Curly took a step back and cleared his throat.

“Walk?” he asked, looking towards Rae. She looked to Dally, who frowned but motioned towards the door with his head.

“Go on. I’ll see ya’ll later.” He reluctantly moved out of the way and let them out the front door. Before Curly could make it through the frame, though, Dally spun him back around and shoved a finger into his chest, giving him the evil eye. 

“Don’t worry, man,” Curly assured her brother, flashing a serpentine smile that Rae was sure made Dally’s blood boil. Man, something was really riling him up. Curly forced him arm out of Dally’s grap and straightened his jacket. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll be goin’.”

“What the hell was that about?” she asked when her friend finally joined her at the bottom of the steps.

"Don’t worry about it. Been lookin' for ya, though," Curly said as they started on their way. “Weren’t at the usual hangouts, so I figured I’d try here.”

"I guess you’ve heard, then" she said, flipping the collar of her jacket up against the cool breeze blowing in her face.

"Yeah, I heard. Tim told me," he answered. She nodded. “He didn’t wanna, but-”

"It’s fine,” she said, quickly. “You should know. I should’ve told you but-”

"It’s okay. I'm just real worried 'bout ya," Curly said, throwing his arm around her shoulders. She stumbled in surprise. 

"I-Thanks for worrying," she said, trying to right herself. She smiled and wrapped her arm around his waist.

They stopped at the Tastee Freeze for a malt and some fries before going back to the Curtis's. While they sat in their booth, he started talking about the fight he’d been in. Rae took a good look at his face as he talked. Curly had a nice shiner on his right eye. 

"I'm glad you're okay. Those Brumly boys can get dirty," she said when he’d finished his story. "What’d ya do this time?"

"I dunno," he said with a shrug. "They mighta grabbed the wrong brother. Tim and I do look a lot alike, huh?" He smiled conspiratorially. "But I do know Tim took one of their broads on a date." His smile was infectious. 

"That’d prob’ly do it," she confirmed. He nodded and they both went quiet, finishing off the fries they shared between them. Eventually, she looked up at him and they locked eyes. She couldn’t help but notice the pretty brown of his eyes. 

“Rae, I-,” he started, looking particularly nervous and totally un-Shepard-like. “I just want you to know that, well, I can protect you too. I want to-to protect you.” 

“What’s this all-?” Curly slid their cokes out of the way and leaned across the table. She noticed an expression on his face she'd never seen in all their years of being friends. Her stomach tied in excited knots as his face got closer to hers. Was this why Dally was always threatening him? Was this-?

“Can I?” he asked, his voice steady but unsure. She blinked, completely take aback. Sure, she’d thought about it before but he’d never... Her cheeks started heating up but at the thought, and slowly, she nodded. Rae closed her eyes and leaned in the rest of the way. Their lips met for a few short seconds before Curly fell back into his seat.

"Sorry," he said, quickly, and shifted his position, uncomfortably. He looked out the window next to him. 

"How long?" she demanded.

“Huh?”

“Come on, Curly. You ain’t that dumb. How long?” 

“A-a while, okay? I just didn’t know if-” He angled his head back towards her but she gave him a sheepish grin. He blew out a long breath, and huffed a short laugh. She rolled her eyes.

"Maybe you are stupid. Come on," she concluded and threw her jacket back on. 

“A little,” Curly affirmed as he got out of his booth and held out his hand to her. She took it and slid out of her seat. He returned his arm to her shoulders and they started walking back to the Curtis house together. When they got there, Ponyboy was sitting on the front porch, smoking a cigarette and talking to Soda. The older brother waved at the pair when he saw them coming.

"Hey, Rae. Nice to see ya, Curly," Sodapop said. Curly nodded. Two-Bit walked out the door and saw the two together.

"Oh ho!" Two-But chortled. Rae’s face went red again and she separated herself from Curly. Soda laughed as well.

"Well, I'd better go. Tim'll beat my head in if I’m gone much longer," Curly said as he turned to walk off. "I'll come see ya soon." After a wave, he was gone, hands shoved in the pockets of his jacket, greasy hair shining in the receding light.

"See ya," she said to his back. She watched him until he turned the corner. She turned back to her friends giving her a look. “What?”

“Dally’s gonna be mad,” Two-Bit answered, and taunted her with a dumb grin on his face.

“How’d you know?” 

“You ain’t never looked at him like that before. And your face just got red as hell.”

“How long have ya’ll known?” she asked, looking at each of her friends in turn. Soda held up his arms in mock surrender when her eyes landed on him.

“A while,” he confessed. 

“Well, I-,” Ponyboy started. His ears started going red. She raised an eyebrow.

“It’s pretty obvious if Pony picked up on it,” Two-Bit blurted out, laughter overtaking him.

“You callin’ me stupid?”

“Nah, kid. Just a little clueless.” He clapped poor Pony on the back hard enough to make him cough. “Easy, kid. Damn.” Rae rolled her eyes and shoved him into the pillar next to him, then stomped up the front porch and disappeared inside.


	8. Worry

Dally was gone again, but he had instructed Ponyboy to tell her that he’d keep his promise. After making fun of her for a while, Two-Bit decided that they should probably leave, too. His mother had gotten home early and called to let them know that she was making dinner for them.

After dinner, Rae did her homework while Two-bit talked her ear off. At first she tried to get him to focus on his own work, but in the end she just tuned him out. Once she was done, they sat on the floor in the front room in their pajamas, playing poker with the television running in the background. Around midnight Rae yawned and stretched her arms out, then decided they should probably get some sleep.

In the morning, Rae got up early and hopped in the shower. When she was dried off, she threw on her clothes, combed out her hair, and quickly inspected her face in the mirror. The swelling on her cheek was gone- and thankfully, her father hadn’t smacked her hard enough to leave a bruise. The cut was still there, but it was scabbed over and was healing nicely. Once she’d met her own eyes, though, a shiver of disgust ran up her spine and she turned away.

She went back to Two-Bit's room. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, waiting for her. 

“There’s still some time,” Rae started. “How about some eggs?” He shrugged.

“Sure.”

“Fried or scrambled?” 

“You choose.” 

As she cooked their breakfast, Two-Bit set the table with a couple of plates, silverware, glasses, and a pitcher of orange juice. The smell of the eggs frying on the stove made Rae’s stomach rumbled. It seemed so insignificant- but it was a start.

Morning classes went as normal; nothing new. She let the greaser girl behind her in English trim the split-ends from her hair and even out the length while their teacher droned on in his dull monotone about some boring book called The Yearling. In Math, the Socs she’d shot spitballs at the day before put a chewed-up piece of gum in her hair as they were filing out of the room when class was over. And so the silent war continued.

Rae stood before the bathroom mirror, trying to fish it out of her hair. Thankfully, they hadn’t stuck it in too high so if she had to cut it out, she wouldn’t lose much length. 

A few minutes after the next bell rang - thank God it was lunch- the red-headed Soc from the skating rink entered the restroom, her curls bouncing on her shoulders.

“Hey,” she greeted Rae, her voice light and her smile soft. 

“Hi?” Rae said, absolutely unsure why this rich girl was talking to her. The girl stopped and leaned her backside against the sink next to hers. 

“I’m Cherry,” she offered, her cheeks going pink against her pristine complexion. “I, uh, just wanted to apologize to you for the other night- my boyfriend, he-”

“It’s cool,” Rae shot back at her, quickly. “Shit happens all the time when you’re from my side of town.” Cherry hesitated for a moment, the small smile on her face disappearing.

“I wish that weren’t true,” she confessed, looking down at the white porcelain. Rae shut the water off and turned to face her. 

“Don’t you? You’re still with him even knowing how he treats us. If he treats us so badly, how exactly does he treat you?” she inquired, a bit more harshly than she’d meant. “Is there something I can help you with, Cherry, was it?”

“I just felt really bad about it is all.”

“Well, thanks for the apology, I guess.” Rae lifted her backpack to her shoulder. “I need to get going.” She started heading for the door. She’d just have to deal with the gum later.

“Cooking oil,” Cherry said.

“Sorry?” 

“For the gum,” she explained, pointing to the wad in her hair. She offered another muted smile.

“Oh, uh, thanks.” And she was out the door.

Rae contemplated the conversation she’d just had as she headed to meet her friends for lunch. It was a nice, sunny day, so they opted to sit outside on the front steps of the school. Two-Bit’s mother had thrown together a lunch for the both of them so they wouldn’t have to buy.

“It that gum?” Johnny asked her as she tore her sandwich in half and leaned in to hand it to him, the pink lump sticking out against her dark hair.

“Yeah. Revenge for yesterday’s spitballs, no doubt. Here, eat this.” He took the food, gratefully, and bit into it. 

“It looks stuck in there pretty good- I hope you don’t gotta chop it off,” he said, mouth full of bread.

“Someone in the bathroom gave me a tip that I’m gonna try after school.” Two-Bit cracked open the beer he’d snuck into his lunch bag that morning on their way out. 

“Who?” he asked, taking a sip.

“Drinkin’ at school now, Two-Bit?” Pony asked, who received a shove in return.

“Shoot, kid, school’s boring. Gotta do somethin’ to make it interesting.” He took a large swallow and nodded in Rae’s direction. “Anyway, who was it?”

“Uh- that red-head from the roller rink the other night? That asshole’s girlfriend, I guess.”

“You better watch it around her,” Johnny warned. “That guy was the guy who…” His voice trailed off as he looked down at his legs. 

“That was him?” Rae asked, incredulously. “If I’d known that, I’da beat the shit outta him right there.”

“No, it’s alright-”

“It is not okay, Johnny Cade.” She huffed. “He looked like a damn wimp, anyway.” She polished off her Coke, trying to calm herself. “She seemed nice, though. Genuine, I guess.”

“Who really knows with them?” Ponybody asked. 

“Ain’t that the truth,” she responded and clanked her soda bottle against his. The bell rang, marking the end of lunch. Two-Bit shoved the rest of his sandwich in his mouth.

“Well, let’s get this over with.” 

After school, Two-Bit drove them all to the DX to see Steve and Soda. While Soda took Two-Bit and Pony to the back to show them the tuff car he was working on, Rae climbed onto the hood of the car to soak in the sunlight. Johnny leaned up against the front bumper. Steve walked up to them, face and shirt streaked with car oil.

"Heard 'bout you and Curly," he said, with a wide, stupid grin. Rae’s cheeks went red.

“Why ya’ll gotta make fun of me? It can’t be a surprise since I’m apparently the last one to know,” she muttered. He chuckled and popped open the Pepsi bottle he was carrying. He handed it to Johnny.

"Hey, Johnnycake," Steve greeted, clapping him on the back. “Could ya run to the back with Soda for a few?” 

“Yeah, sure,” Johnny answered and took off for the garage, knocking the drink back as he walked. Steve took his place, leaning onto the car, close to Rae.

"I've been meanin' to talk to ya.”

"If you’re gonna give me the same talk you gave to Johnny- I heard that one too and I’m well aware of-”

"No, no, that ain’t it," Steve persisted. “I’m just worried- we all are-”

“Please, Steve,” she pleaded, rubbing her temples. “I don’t want to go there. Not right now.”

“Kid, just hear me out.” She sighed, but let him go on. "When somethin’ like this happens to one of us, it affects us all, ya know. Of course ya know. You've probably heard all this before." Rae crossed her legs and hunched over, leaning on her elbows. "I can’t believe this happened to one of our own. We-I just want to make sure you’re okay."

"Everyone keeps asking me if I’m okay,” she remarked, staring a hole into her jeans. “It just pisses me off more.” And she was feeling more irritated by the second.

“Look, Rae,” Steve started, lifting himself off the car and turning to face her. He pulled a rag out of his pocket and started wiping his dirty hands off. “You’re part of our family. You’re a great sister and friend. And as much as that kid annoys the hell outta me, the one right thing Pony has done in his life is look up to you-”

"I ain’t that special," she argued, unconvinced. “I don’t got a clue why anyone would look up to me.”

"Why not? I know that you an’ Dally are a lot alike, but you’re still the best of us all.”

“I don’t think I’m as good as you think I am.”

“You don’t drink. You don’t smoke. You don’t cheat-” She slid off the hood of the car and leaned her forehead against the cool brick of the station building next to her. Her heart was hammering in her ears, louder with every new praise Steve could think of before-

"That night, I was running away," she admitted to him, keeping her voice as calm as she could. “Some role model I turned out to be.”

“That doesn’t make you a bad person,” Steve told her. 

“It makes me weak.” She hated being weak.

There was silence between them for what seemed like an eternity. She stood up straight again, but glowered at the bricks rather than face her friend.

“How could you think that?” He sounded like he was at a loss for words. “A lot of people don’t come back from somethin’ like this. But you-”

“Please, just lay off it.” The simmering rage inside her was starting to heat up again. Her mood swings were really starting to worry her, but she couldn’t seem to help it. Sure, she had her brother’s anger towards life but she wasn’t as volatile as he was. At least, she didn’t use to be.

“I won’t, Rae. I can’t. You’ve never been weak- Dally’s made sure of that. Just because you need help sometimes doesn’t mean-”

Without thinking, she slammed her balled up fist against the brick. She gasped at the pain. When she pulled her hand a way, small flecks of blood stained the wall.

“Shit!” Steve jumped up and was at her side in an instant, cradling her bloody hand in his. She stared down in shock at what she’d done. Her friend was talking again- but his voice sounded muffled in her ears. 

“Steve, please, just…,” she begged, the roar in her head growing louder. Before she could finish, she slid her hand out of his and jogged off, away from the gas station, Steve calling after her. She was trying to be okay but she was definitely failing.

Rae knew she shouldn’t have gone off alone. It’s never safe for a solo greaser, especially a girl. She would have expected, even relished, a Soc attack. She could really blow off some steam. 

What she didn’t anticipate, though, was a familiar voice saying, “Surprise, bitch” before stars burst in her vision and she blacked out.


	9. Note

When Rae came to, first thing she saw was the swirls of Steve's hair. He was sitting on the floor of the Curtis’s front room, leaning his back against the couch, watching some late-night show. Her eyes shifted to the clock, but the room was too dark, even with the light of the television. 

She shifted, trying to sit up on one of her elbows. Steve must have felt her movement, because he was turned in an instant, forcing her to lay back down.

“Nuh uh- don’t move.”

“What happened?” she croaked, her throat dry. “How’d I end up here?” Pain flared in her head and she winced. She lifted her hand to feel her temple, but he grabbed her hand and laid it back across her stomach. Really, with as much abuse as her head has taken lately, she’d be surprised if there wasn’t some kinda damage.

“Don’t touch. What do you remember?”

“Not much.” She didn’t want to think. “Losin’ my cool earlier. Punchin’ a wall.”

“You ran off. We thought you just needed to let off some steam, but you never came back. Soda got ahold of Darry and he said we’d meet here after work and look around town.” She made to sit up again, the pounding in her head making her feel like she might hurl. “Please don’t sit up.”

"No. I'm alright." He didn’t look convinced, but he helped her into a sitting position. “And then?”

“We got here and Dally had found you. Someone had knocked you out cold, reopened the wound where your father had...Anyway, we got you cleaned up and here we are.”

“Dally was here?”

“Oh yeah, still is. We made ‘im take a break and sleep in Soda’s old room.”

“And what time is it?” Steve turned and squinted to see the clock.

“‘Round two in the mornin’.” He yawned. 

“Don’t you got work?”

“It’s okay, you’re worth it.” Rae felt a warmth spread through her body that she hadn’t felt in a long while. She also felt an overwhelming need to hug him.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” she said, her voice muffled against his neck.

"None of that, kid," he said, wrapping his arms around her back. "You asked me to stop and I didn’t. I shouldn’t have pushed ya.” He released her and took on an air of authority. “Now, go back to sleep." She obeyed her friend and fell back onto the couch.

When Rae woke again, daylight had started streaming in through the windows and Steve was gone. Slowly, she sat up. The throbbing in her head was still there- but it was reduced to a dull roar. Dally walked in from the kitchen without a shirt, holding a steaming mug and still looking drowsy. When he saw his sister, he seemed to snap awake, instantly.

“Hey kid,” he greeted her. She made a repulsed face.

“Put a shirt on, man. No one wants to see that.” He smirked, set the mug down on the coffee table and knelt in front of her. 

“Nice to see your sense of humour ain’t gone. Let me see.” He motioned towards her head. She obediently turned around and could feel his hands in her hair. It made a chill run up her back. “Looks okay now. It was bleedin’ like hell yesterday.” When Dally was finished, she turned back around to face him. He tugged on the pink lump still stuck in her hair. “How’d you manage this?”

“Some Soc gettin’ back at me for the spitballs,” she answered him as he picked up his coffee again and sat down next to her.

“Never gets old, does it?”

“I’ll get ‘em back good soon. So, where’d you find me?”

“You were near Shepard territory, actually, in that little middle class area,” he started. “Tim an’ I were out drinkin’ and liftin’ some ‘caps when we found you sittin’ against the wall in an alley. You were barely awake, and said your head hurt.” Rae narrowed her eyes, thinking back to the day before. She couldn’t recall any of it. 

“I don’t remember ever goin’ out to that part of town yesterday. Maybe I was headed to see Curly?” Dally shrugged and took a long drink. 

“No idea. We loaded ya into Tim’s truck and brought ya here. You sure were bloodied up real good. Looks like whoever did it tried breakin’ your nose but they didn’t hit ya hard enough. They probably heard us comin’ and scrammed. You always did have a mighty hard head. Sure do look like hell, though.” She sighed through her nose.

“Gee, thanks. Can’t we go one day without anythin’ happenin’?” Rae complained. He leaned back and stretched his arm out behind her. 

“Nah, then it’d be too boring.” She shrugged, took the mug from his hand, and took a large swallow. The liquid was hot and seared her throat on the way down. Once she’d handed it back, she leaned into his side.

“I should probably get a shower.” Neither of them moved. They both watched as Darry walked into the kitchen, seemingly unaware that they were sitting on his couch. He made a few sounds as he prepared to make his brothers breakfast, but came out holding the mostly-full glass carafe. He looked at them, confused.

“Dally, did you make coffee?” he asked, bewildered. The three of them looked at each other for a few seconds and broke out into soft laughter.

After breakfast, Rae sat on the edge of the bathtub while Soda helped her wash the blood and gum out of her hair. His hands were gentle on her head and she closed her eyes, relishing the feeling.

“What happened to Steve?” she asked as he massaged her scalp. 

“Found him passed out in my bed when I went to my room to get some clothes. Dally must’ve switched places with ‘im. Alright, all done.” He handed her a towel and she went to work drying her hair. “I’d better go wake him up, anyway.” He stepped out of the bathroom so she could finish up.

She pulled a clean t-shirt over her head. It wasn’t her normal style, but it was either wear a shirt borrowed from Ponyboy or wear one with blood all down the front. Whatever- she could wear her jacket all day, anyway. When she looked in the mirror, her nose was an angry red, and there was a bruise coming in under her eyes. She caught herself staring at her face and her chest swelled. A little progress.

Rae put her hair up so it wouldn't sway around and aggravate the wound on the back of her head and left the bathroom. Ponyboy was standing in the front room, trying to dust off her jacket. He handed it to her and she examined it. There was dirt all over it, and the collar had a bit of dried blood stained on it. Nothing they could do about it now. She slipped it on, hand catching on the fraying cuffs, and left for school with a quick wave to her brother.

Two-Bit met them in the hall and handed over her backpack. 

“Glad to see you’re feeling better,” he observed, elbowing her softly. “You still look like hell, though.” She rolled her eyes.

“You an’ Dally sure know how to compliment a girl.” A balled up piece of paper hit her right on the forehead. She looked up towards the person who threw it.

"That dirt looks good on you, grease," a Soc boy laughed, trying to provoke her. She frowned, but didn’t rise to the occasion. Two-Bit shoved him along.

“Oh, get outta here,” her friend commanded. The kid went on his way, still snickering to his friends. From there, the trio started heading to their classes.

"So, do you remember who did it?" Ponyboy asked as the walked down the hallway  
.  
"No, I-," she started. "I don’t remember much. I thought I heard a girl’s voice but I really ain’t sure.”

"Man, I’da been scared to death if it’d happened to me," Ponyboy confessed.

"I didn’t really have the chance to be scared, I guess. Whoever it was made sure I was knocked out before they fuckin’ punched me in the nose. Coward.” Rae went to touch her swollen nose, but recoiled and hissed from the pain. She really regretted not popping a couple of Aspirins before she left this morning. “But, someone told me that I can’t let it drag me down, so I’m going to give it my all." Pony nodded, watching her out of the corner of his eye. She stopped outside an open door. "This is me. See ya’ll later." He and Two-Bit said their goodbyes to her and quickly went to find their own classrooms before the bell rang. She turned on her heels and walked into the room.

When she reached her seat, a small girl with dirty-blonde hair pulled back in a bun was sitting on her desk, facing away from her. With a playful smile, Rae dropped her bag on the floor under her desk and got up real close to the girl.

“I see you made it back alive,” she breathed, right into the girl’s ear. To her credit, the other girl didn’t jump, but a visible shiver went up her spine. She turned and a wide smile broke out onto her face.

“Rae!” She jumped up and excitedly wrapped her arms around her friend. Rae winced a little, but let it happen.

“How ya been, Carrie?”

“Oh, alright. Wasn’t much of a vacation, really, just a good ol’ visit to see the grandparents. Buck said it was gonna be borin’ and didn’t wanna be away from the bar and the rodeo for that long so it was- What happened to your nose?” She opened her mouth to answer but their teacher walked in the room. As they both sat down, Rae motioned with her pencil. Carried nodded. 

As the teacher started class, Rae started passing notes to her friend. She’d started from the beginning, with everything Carrie had missed out on while she was gone. As the story went on, the notes from the girl in front of her came back angrier and angrier. 

"Miss Winston?," the teacher drawled, three quarters of the way through class. She looked up from her note to find him standing at her desk. He held out his hand. "Give it to me." Rae looked around. Everyone was staring at her. She debated tearing the damn thing up, shoving it in her mouth- anything. He must have realized what she was thinking because he reached out and grabbed it before she could act. She cursed herself. The teacher read the note to himself, then looked down at her. "Out in the hall. Now," he ordered. She glared up at him, but left the room. 

Rae leaned against the lockers on the other side of the hall and stuffed her hands in her back pockets, silently summoning the spirit of her brother to possess her. A few minutes later, her teacher came out, holding the note in one hand.

"Anything else you'd like to tell me?" he asked. She shrugged.

"Stay out of it," she said, nonchalantly, keeping her voice even. 

"I'd say that I'm pretty involved, now," he said, holding up the note. "I’m going to have to tell the principal about this. The police will most likely be informed as well." She gave him her best tuff, wild Dally smile.

"Don't get involved," Rae repeated. "Or you’ll be sorry." She saw movement behind him and watched as Carrie snuck out the door and snatched the paper out of his hand. “Ain’t nothin’ to a hood, right?” Her friend handed it to her. She ripped the note up and put the pieces in the back pocket of her jeans to dispose of somewhere else. A few seconds later, the bell rang. Students started piling out of the room, dodging their dazed teacher. Rae gave him another dark smile as another greaser girl handed over her backpack.

“Thanks, Chrissy.” 

“No prob,” she answered with a red-lipped smile. With a wave and a pop of the gum in her mouth, she headed for the cafeteria to find her boyfriend, large hoops swinging from her ears as she turned.

At lunch, Rae told the boys what happened.

"This is bad," Soda stated. “Can you see if you can get moved to another class?”

"If your teacher tells the fuzz, they could take you away," Steve noted, as if she didn’t already know. "They could take you far away."

"I know. I wasn’t thinkin’,” she groaned.

“Well, that’s obvious,” Steve said, flatly. Soda elbowed him. “What? It’s true.”

“You don’t need to be so blunt.”

“What, you think she wants to be babied?”

“Well, no, but-”

"I been thinkin’ of swiping some foster parent paperwork. Ya know, in case it happens. Mom would take you," Two-Bit announced, his mouth full of candy. At least, that’s what she thought he said.

"Don’t you think you should ask her first?” Rae wondered out loud, unable to help the giggle that came out of her mouth.

"Nah, it don’t matter. She wouldn’t say no to you."

"Anyway,” Soda interjected, serious written all over his face. “We'll talk to Darry and Dally when we get home," Soda said. “They’ll have some ideas.” Well, that sure wiped the smile right off her face.

“Dally’s gonna kill me,” Rae sighed.

“Better to get a good yellin’ than not tell ‘im and get taken away,” Steve concluded. 

"Alright, alright," Two-bit said. "We gotta get going. Lunch is almost over."

Rae stared out the window of the passenger seat on the drive back. Johnny, sitting in the seat behind her, placed a hand on her shoulder. 

“It’ll be fine. We’ll get it worked out, yeah?” She placed a hand on top of his and squeezed.

“Thanks, Johnny.” She appreciated the sentiment but she wasn’t sure she felt any better.


	10. Flash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Curly <3

The next afternoon, Dally and Tim were sitting on the front porch of the Curtis house when Rae and Ponyboy arrived. They all looked at each other, then Dally turned to Tim.

"Thanks, man," he said. The boys slapped hands and shook as they approached. 

“Yeah, no problem. See ya later.” He stood and inclined his head towards Rae as a greeting. She gave him a curt wave and he took off without another word.

"Hi Dally.” She gave him a wide smile.

"Hey, kid," he responded, watching her walk up the steps and sit down in one of the chairs. She nodded. Ponyboy went past them and into the house. Dally took a drag of his cigarette and leaned back in his chair. "Soda told me about your teacher."

"Yeah. We thought it best you knew," Rae said with a sigh, her smile fading. "I threatened him. It was all I could think to do"

"Darry thinks there ain’t nothing we can do right now ‘cept wait and see what happens" Dally said, flicking the butt out into the yard. She nodded. "What you did was stupid, kid, I ain’t gonna lie." She nodded, again.

“I know. I wasn’t thinkin’.” 

“Well you’re gonna have to start thinkin’,” he chided. She could tell he was trying to keep the level of his voice and his tone in check. “Sometimes you’re just as bad as Pony.” 

“Sorry, Dally.” Rae looked down at her lap.

“Don’t apologize. Just don’t do it again,” he ordered with a small shake of his head. “Get inside and do your homework. Tim said Curly might drop by later, after he’s done takin’ care of some business for the gang and you ain’t leavin’ this house ‘til it’s done.” 

“Yes, dad,” she mumbled but immediately obeyed. 

“You better not get smart with me,” her brother said as she went inside and dropped her backpack on the floor. She spread her books on the coffee table and settled in to do her work. The next hour passed by, slowly. She really hated Math.

"Rae?" Ponyboy's voice came from down the hall. He peered out from behind the corner. She set her pencil down in the bend of her notebook and closed it. Finally, a reprieve from numbers.

"Yeah?"

"Could you come help me with my English?" he asked.

"Sure," she replied and lifted herself off the couch. She wandered down the hall to the room he shared with Soda. He sat at the desk by the window and she leaned in to read over his shoulder. She explained the assignment to him and answered any questions he had along the way. She may have been lazy in school, but at least she was good at English (even if she didn’t speak it well). “You good now?”

"Yeah, thanks," Pony said, with a nod. Rae turned to go out of the room, but almost collided with Curly. She about jumped out of her skin.

"I never knew you were so smart," he said, that stupid smile once again plastered to his face, and snaked his arm around her waist. She rolled her eyes, but smiled as well and let him pull her close. He leaned in to plant a quick kiss on her lips.

“You’re a damn liar,” she said. “How many times have I helped you out?” 

“Oh, get a room, would ya?” Pony complained. She winked at her friend, but led Curly back to the front room. When they were both sitting on the couch, Curly grabbed her chin and examined her face. 

"Got roughed up a bit, huh? By who?"

"No idea. They knocked me out cold first." 

"What ‘bout you? Heard you had some business to take care of.”

"Some kid has been giving some Angel shit," he answered. Rae didn't know Curly’s sister too well, and she didn't really mind that. If you wanted some hard ass bitch, you’d want to find Angel. Even at fourteen, she was wild as hell and usually high as fuck. Angela made her uncomfortable and she’d only met the girl a handful of times. Rae settled in against him and he laid his arm across her shoulders. She pulled her notebook back into her lap to finish the last few problems. "Tim told me 'bout your teacher."

"How'd he find out?" Rae asked, laying her head against the smooth leather jacket sitting on his chest. She opened back to the page her homework was on and continued writing in answers.

"Prob’ly Dally. They may beat the shit out of each other but they tell each other everything. Tim said he was here when ya’ll got home from school."

"Mm, he was here."

"You know, if you need me to rough up anybody for you, just-"

"I think I scared him pretty good on my own," she said, cutting him off. "I am a Winston after all" Curly nodded, satisfied. “Dude just stared at me with his damn mouth hangin’ open.”

"Atta girl," he said, with a smile, burying his nose in her hair. The phone rang in the other room but before Rae could uncurl herself from Curly, Ponyboy was in the kitchen, phone in hand.

"Hello?" he answered it. "Oh, hey, Darry. Right." He paused, listening to his oldest brother. "No problem. I’ll ask her." Pony hung up the phone and looked at Rae. "Darry is gonna to be home late and wanted to know if you could make dinner." Rae shrugged and nodded.

"Yeah, I guess," she answered. Curly looked at her, amused.

"You can cook too?" he asked.

"You sure don’t seem to know a lot about your own girlfriend," she said, poking him in the ribs. “I’m surprised Tim didn’t tell you he was graced with a sample of my amazing cookin’ one night.” She smirked.

“Wait, Tim’s had your cookin’ and not me? Why don’t you ever cook for me?” 

“You never asked!” she exclaimed with a laugh. 

"Darry said there ain’t much left in the fridge but there's some money on top of his dresser," Ponyboy interjected, interrupting their fake spat.

"Thanks. What sounds good?" Rae asked, standing up. She looked at Ponyboy, who shrugged. "You’re sure a lotta help." She sighed. "Something easy. Hamburgers and fries sound okay?”

"That'll work for me," Pony said. “You gonna stay, Curly?”

"Nah, I better get," he answered. Rae raised an eyebrow. "Sorry. Tim’s wantin’ me back home. Gotta report back to him." She shook her head in disbelief.

“All that bullshit just a second ago and you don’t even wanna stay?”

“I gotta go! You know Tim’ll break my skull if I don’t do what he says!”

"Don't worry about it. I'll just take Pony to the store." She rolled her eyes and nodded towards her friend. “Go get your shoes.” He went back to his room again. They both stood from the couch.

"Alright. I'll be back when I can," Curly said and leaned in to give her a short peck on the lips. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed his body against hers.

"See ya soon," she said, hugging him tightly. When she let him go, he gave her a crooked smile and was out the door. Dally must’ve still been sitting outside. She heard Curly exchange a few words with him. Pony appeared at her side, money in hand.

"Let's go," he said. Rae nodded and slipped into her jacket as Pony zipped up his sweatshirt.

“We’re goin’ to the store,” she announced to her brother as she swung the screen door open. “Darry asked me to make some dinner. Be back soon.” Dally nodded, still leaning back in his chair.

“That homework better be done!” he called to her as they headed down the sidewalk. She raised her arm and waved back.

“Yeah, yeah.”

When they got to the store, the two slowly traversed the aisles. Ponyboy tried to grab some snacks when Rae’s back was turned. 

“I think Darry’ll roast me if I let you get all this shit,” she speculated with a small smile, seeing the bags in his arms as he tried to sneak them into her basket. She leaned over the meat section to pick out a couple of pounds of ground beef.

“Dang, Rae,” he said, reaching into the basket to put the snacks back. “I thought at least you’d let me get away with somethin’.” 

“One,” she relented, holding up her index finger in his face. “You can get one. Somethin’ small, like a candy bar. And the evidence better be gone by the time we get home. Now, go get me some buns. I’ll get the potatoes and we’ll get outta here.”

He walked away from her, chips and cookie bags overflowing his arms. She headed off for the produce section of the store. As she turned down the aisle that had potatoes, Rae collided with someone and nearly dropped the basket that hung from her arm. She started to apologize, but he grabbed her by the shoulders to steady her and when she looked up, her father’s face flashed in her vision. Her body started shaking. What the fuck was he doing here? Quickly, she looked away.

“Miss?” But- that wasn’t his voice...

She looked up again and saw a man she’d never seen before. Confusion spread across her features and she shrugged out of his grasp.

“Please don’t-”

“Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. Just don’t-don’t touch me.” She took a deep breath. “Sorry for bumping into you,” Rae mumbled and shoved past him. Ponyboy came around the same corner holding a bag of hamburger buns. He did a double-take when he passed the man, but continued on to his friend.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, fine. I just thought I saw…” She trailed off, staring the potatoes down. “It’s fine. Nevermind.” She lifted a sack of potatoes out of the bin. “Let’s just get outta here.”


	11. Hurl

The next morning, Rae rolled off of Two-Bit's couch and hit the floor. She sat up quickly, awake, with a headache that throbbed viciously. She pressed her hand against her temple and tried to remember the night before. It was all real fuzzy, but there were flashes. Two-Bit pulled out some alcohol when they got home, which wasn’t out of the ordinary, except that it wasn’t just beer. He’d gotten into the stash his father had left behind that just sat in the cabinet in the living room. 

Did she drink? She didn’t usually. Steve had just praised her for being clean and she’d just promised Darry that she wouldn’t turn to alcohol and- God, what would Dally say?

"Calm down, kid. It was just you and me,” Two-Bit's voice said from the doorway. Were her emotions written on her face or something? “Looked like you needed to forget for a bit. You sure put back a lot, though. Honestly, if you drank more often, you’d prob’ly rival even me.” Rae looked up at him. He was holding two steaming coffee mugs in his hands. She stood up, slowly, trying not to disturb the leftover contents of her stomach. "Here," he said, pushing one of the mugs at her. She took it gratefully and took a sip. The coffee burned her tongue.

"Well, you've answered my first question," she said. "And-"

"Nothing too embarrassing," he answered her unasked question. She eyed him, suspiciously. 

“Too embarrassing?”

"You didn’t come onto me or anythin’." He took a sip out of his own mug, an amused smile spreading across his mouth as he watched her. “We, uh, did play some strip poker, though.” He nodded his head towards her chest and she looked down. The mug almost slid out of her hand and her face turned beet red. She was definitely not wearing a shirt. “Lady Luck was not on your side last night, but you did get my pants off.” He winked.

“What the fuck?” she cursed, setting the cup down before she dropped it. 

“Oh, don’t you worry. I’ve seen it all before.” Rae knelt down, rummaged through her duffel bag for a camisole and threw it on. At least her bra was still on. “Calm down, Rae. Nothin’ happened. Scout’s honor. Jesus Christ, you’re like my sister.” She sighed and dropped back into the couch, grabbing the mug as she went. “Otherwise, you just...wanted to talk.”

"’Bout what?" she asked him. He looked at her again, his eyes sad.

"You know, the things you are afraid to talk about when you’re sober. You also thought you figured out who beat you up,” he answered. “Said that you recognized the voice you heard. Even gave me the name. Do you remember now?” Rae knit her eyebrows together.

"No, I- " she started, trying to remember. Her head throbbed violently and her stomach churned. She winced.

"It alright," he said. He gently clapped her on the back, gently. "We’ll talk about it later. Go get ready. We're goin’ to a movie with Ponyboy and Johnny. I’ll get you a couple of aspirins. Don’t puke on my carpet." Rae put her mug on Two-Bit's dresser, grabbed some clothes and went to the bathroom to take a shower. Hopefully the shower would help. She vowed to never drink again.

When she was combing her hair out, there was a knock on the bathroom door.

"Almost done? The movie starts in half an hour!" Two-Bit yelled through the door. Rae set her comb on the counter and opened the door. Her friend stood just outside the door, leaning up against the wall, a couple of pills and a glass of water in his hands. He handed them to her, and she downed them. “Good to go?”

"Just about," she said after she’d polished off the water. She went back to her friend’s room to put on her shoes and grab her jacket. “We pickin’ them up this time?”

"Nah. They're walkin', as usual," he replied, rolling his eyes. "Just hope they don't get jumped. Ponyboy and his damn scenery." They headed outside. 

Rae dropped into the passenger seat of the beat-up car and shut the door. Two-Bit got in the driver's side and started the car. She went to looking out the window, lost in her own thoughts. After a few minutes, she went pale and bit her lip. Two-Bit noticed.

"Rae? You ‘bout to hurl or somethin-?” She looked at him, eyes wide.

"A week," she whispered. "It's been a week, hasn’t it?" Two-Bit looked back at the road and cursed.

"We were hopin’ to keep your mind off it today," he explained. Rae looked back out her window. Her panic had been gone for a couple days, but now… It gurgled in her gut. Or was that the coffee? The hangover? Shit.

She grabbed ahold of Two-Bit’s arm, digging her nails into his skin, her face going from pale to green. Immediately, he pulled over. She threw the door open and stumbled out, vomiting the contents of her stomach on to the dirt. She sat back in the car seat, taking a deep breath. She felt his hand rubbing circles into her back.

“It’s okay,” he said, reassuringly. They sat in silence for a few minutes and when her heart stopped racing and limbs stopped shaking, they went on their way again.

They managed to get to the movie house fifteen minutes early. The two paid and went inside. Ponyboy and Johnny were already there, sitting three rows from the front. The theater was otherwise empty, so, instead of actually watching the movie, Johnny, and Two-Bit, even Pony, started throwing popcorn at each other. Rae sat between Ponyboy and Two-Bit and tried hard to pay attention to the show. 

Eventually, she got so fed up with them and told them she was going to the bathroom. Instead of actually going, she left the building and went walking down the street. No doubt her friends would come and look for her sooner or later, but for now she just wanted some peace. She let her feet carry her wherever they felt like going. After a while, there was a slight tug on the sleeve of her jacket that pulled her out of her thoughts. She turned.

"Johnny?" 

"I knew you hadn't gone to the bathroom," he said quietly.

"You didn't tell them, did you?" she asked. Johnny shook his head. 

“Nah, I know the feeling.” Rae smiled. 

"Thanks. Let's walk a while longer." He nodded and put his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

"You okay, Rae?" he asked her as they walked. There it was again- that question. At least today it didn’t piss her off. Maybe it was because it was coming from Johnny.

"I don't know," she answered with a little shrug. "I think I’m still shocked." Johnny opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by a car with a loud engine that had pulled up next to them.

"Well if it ain’t my lucky day," a familiar voice said. Rae’s face went pale again. They turned to see her father sitting behind the wheel of his car. "Out with these God forsaken punks again, I see." The rage set in real easy, and this time, she didn’t try to hold it back.

"Did I not say it loud enough the last time? Fuck you," she said, gritting her teeth. He smiled at her, that dangerous, angry smile he always had on his face before she would get a sound beating.

“See, ya can’t talk to me like that without bein’ taught a lesson, kid.”

"Why don’t you just leave her alone?" Johnny spoke up. Rae looked at him in surprise. “None of us want you around.” Her father got out if his car and slammed the door shut. Johnny recoiled, instantly, his bravado disappearing. Rae looked around for anyone nearby, but there was no one. Of course, he wouldn’t risk this shit on a busy street.

“Come on, Johnny, let’s get going,” she insisted, but poor, poor Johnny was frozen to his spot. She put herself between her friend and her father but the older man pushed Rae out of his way, hard enough that she tumbled to the concrete, broken pieces and stray rocks digging into her hands. The shoulder of her jean jacket ripped open at the seam. Her father rounded on Johnny, and punched him in the stomach. He gasped loudly, the breath stolen from him. She pushed herself up and threw herself at her father. It knocked him off balance.

"Run, Johnny. Go get Two-Bit," she ordered him as her father turned and caught her on the cheek with his fist. Rae rolled to the ground again. God damn motherfuckin’-

Johnny just stared at her, dark eyes wide. She looked up at him and nodded at him. "Go." He stood up from the ground and took off. When her friend was nearly out of eyesight, she felt pain in her head. Her father lifted her a few inches by her hair. 

She reached into her back pocket and pulled out the switchblade that Dally had gotten her. He wasn’t going to catch her without it again.

"You gonna take me on, lil girl?” he asked with a smirk. “You ain’t gonna win.”

"Don’t matter- I’ll hold ya off til one of my good-for-nothin’ friends gets here," she answered with a smirk. “You never shoulda let Johnny get away.” He tugged her hair tighter and she winced. She lifted her blade and swiped at the hand that held her up. It connected and he cursed. He dropped her back onto the ground. She swept her legs around and kicked up. Her blow hit the bend of his knee, causing him to grunt in pain and fall to his other knee.

She scrambled to her feet quickly while he recovered. Her breathing was heavy, and her hands were shaking, but Rae held her knife up, gripping the handle tightly. 

"Get away," she threatened. He closed in on her, wiping the blood from his hand on his pants. His smile was back again. 

“Gotta hand it to good ole Dally for gettin’ you that knife, huh?” he asked, then feinted. She fell for it and he grabbed hand held that held her blade. He twisted it behind her back and forced her to drop it. “Didn’t teach ya how to use it, though, did he?”

He let her twist out of his grasp. When she was facing him again, his fist was raised, poised to hit her again.

“This’ll teach you to talk back to your father.”

Rae spit on the ground between them.

“You ain’t my family.”

As he honed in on her, she started backing away from him. Before he had a chance to do lower his hand, someone in a white t-shirt barrelled into him.


	12. Birthday

Rae watched with wide eyes as Curly Shepard grabbed ahold of her father’s shirt and threw him to the ground, then looked at her, breathing hard. He was like a knight in greasy armor, hair slicked back and shining in the sunlight. He walked over to her and put his arms around her, protectively. She relaxed and dropped into his open arms.

"Thank you," she whispered, wrapping her arms around his waist, laying her forehead onto his chest and closing her eyes. She sighed in relief. She was still shaking, but at least it was starting to go away.

"You're alright," Curly reassured her, gently. "He ain’t gonna hurt you now.” She heard a scrape of concrete behind him, and lifted her head to look over his shoulder. Rae tensed, digging her nails into his back as her father headed towards them, her knife in his hand. Alarm returned to Curly’s features. “What’s-” 

"Fuck off, asshole!" Dally yelled as he appeared out of nowhere and punched their father square in the nose. Blood spilled out of the man's nose and he stumbled back. “That’s been a long time comin’, you sick fuck.” He dropped her knife to the ground and went for his car, trying to staunch the bleeding.

"This is not the end," he said, then sped away. Johnny came out from where he was hiding, holding Curly’s leather jacket in his shaking hands. He stooped to pick up the blade.

"She okay?" Dally asked Curly as he headed over to them.

"I think her wrist might be twisted," Curly answered, lifting her arm and watching her reaction. "Looks like he might’a got her in the face." 

“You know, I’m standin’ right here,” Rae said, pulling away from Curly. Johnny handed her switchblade over and she slid it back into her pocket. She gingerly touched her cheek.

"Johnny, go on back to Two-Bit and Pony." Dally ordered, forcefully. Johnny gave Curly back his jacket and obeyed, as he always did when it came out of Dally’s mouth. Her brother fished some money out of his pocket and pushed it into Curly’s hand. “Go, uh, get one of them bandages. Ya know what I’m talkin’ about, right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” her boyfriend answered. “There’s a store right around the corner.”

"I'm sorry, Dally. I didn't know he would- Johnny and I were just walking and-," Rae started rambling. Dally waved his hand in front of her to make her stop talking. 

"It ain’t your fault.” She quieted at his command. He put a hand on her back and pushed gently. “Come on.”

Her brother had Buck’s car parked a few blocks away, which was where Johnny must have found him. 

“I was gonna meet ya after the movie, ya know, and take ya out to eat,” he explained as they walked. “Somewhere nice. Curly was headin’ in the same direction so I grabbed him for a little chat- and then Johnny came ‘round the corner spooked to hell.”

Rae leaned against the car, cradling her wrist. She ran her tongue over the inside of her cheek, feeling for any scrapes her teeth might’ve made.

Curly found them a few minutes later and pulled the bandage out of it’s packaging. He wrapped it tightly around her wrist, compressing it so that she couldn’t bend it easily.

“You hungry?” Dally asked, coming around from the other side of the car, lit cigarette between his fingers. 

“I think I’d rather go chill at the Curtis’s,” she responded, inspecting the tan dressing. “Calm down a bit.” Her brother flicked his ashes in Curly’s direction.

“Get on home, punk. I’ll take her back. And don’t you forget what I said,” Dally threatened. Curly let out an exasperated sigh and leaned down, close to Rae’s face.

“I’d better listen to ‘im or he’ll kick my ass,” he said, smile forming on his face. She mirrored his face and found his lips with hers. She closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of his cigarettes, hair oil, and cologne. 

“Thank you,” she whispered against his mouth. Before he could respond, Dally blared the horn, making them both jump. Curly let out a short laugh and helped her slide into the passenger seat. 

“Get some rest,” he ordered, then closed the door. Her brother was quiet as he drove away from the curb. She watched Curly from the side mirror until he turned and walked down the road, then she settled in. Dally said something to her- probably about Curly- but it didn’t register in her mind. Now that the excitement had died down, her body weighed an awful heavy amount...

When Rae woke up, she was stretched out on a bed in a dark room. Even though the blinds were closed and curtains drawn closed, she could tell a late afternoon sun was beating down outside. The house seemed peaceful except for a few muffled sounds coming from beyond the room. She sat up as best she could, her wrist twinging a bit. 

"Food sounds awfully good right now," she whispered to herself as she slipped out from under the sheet. As if in response, her stomach growled. She headed for the door but her knees wobbled a bit, feeling a little weak. She frowned, but steadied herself and continued towards the kitchen.

Dally and the three Curtis brothers were busy preparing what looked to be dinner. Dally, helping with dinner? What parallel universe did she wake up in? She leaned against the doorway, giving her body a break, and watched them. Darry noticed her first. A smile spread across his face. It seemed like months since she’d seen him smile like that.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” he said and helped her to a chair at the dining room table. She heard various greetings from the rest of the boys.

“I feel like I slept for a week.” She scratched her scalp and noticed that the bandage around her wrist was coming loose. 

“Not for a week,” Ponyboy chimed in. “But it is Sunday evening.” She blinked a few times, stunned.

“I slept a whole day?” Rae groaned. “And there’s school tomorrow? How depressing.” Darry smirked and sat in the chair next to hers. She held out her wrapped hand to him.

“Could you help me?” she asked, quietly, heat spreading across her face.

“Of course,” he said, smile softening, although his eyes betrayed a hint of surprise. He tightened the bandage around her wrist again and gently put a hand on her shoulder. “You’re one tough cookie.” 

"She gets it from me, ya know," Dally bragged from the kitchen. The other boys laughed, but Rae beamed and felt her face heat up further. Her brother walked into the dining room carrying a couple of plates. He placed them in the center of the table and sat across from her. Soda came in behind him, pouring chocolate milk into all the glasses. 

"Go ahead and dig in, Rae," he said. “This dinner’s for you.” Darry dropped another plate on the table. They’d cooked a lot of food. Darry’s homemade mashed potatoes (thank God he didn’t let Soda turn them blue this time) with pieces of corn mixed in. Chicken carbonara with mushrooms and bacon mixed into sauce. Definitely her favorites.

“Me?” 

“Well, yeah, kid. It’s your birthday today, ain’t it?” Soda looked at Dally, unsure. Rae chewed on her lip in concentration, thinking about the day. Realization struck her.

“And you let me sleep the whole day away?” she cried, but she couldn’t even pretend to be angry. The boys laughed at her faux frustration. A smile grew on her face as a warm, happy feeling tugged at her insides and she looked across the table at her brother. She found him smiling back at her, amused. His rare, genuine grins sure made him look so young. “Ya’ll are useless,” she laughed. Her stomach grumbled at her again, so she didn’t hold back. Quickly, she tore into the food, her father momentarily forgotten.”

"You'll get a stomach ache if you keep eatin’ like that," Darry warned. She knew he was right, but she didn’t care. She hadn’t eaten since Friday night and she was damn hungry. The rest of the boys joined them at the table and started plating food for themselves.

A while later, Rae lounged deeply in the armchair, watching Soda teach Pony how to play poker. Darry was in the kitchen, pulling a peach cobbler (again, her favorite) out of the oven. Dally was in there with him.

Eventually, Rae grew bored of watching the two play cards so she went to see if Pony had any new books in the house. On her way back, she passed by the kitchen and caught part of the clipped conversation her brother was having with Darry. She stopped by the open doorway to eavesdrop.

"We can't let this happen again."

"You know, Dally," the oldest Curtis brother started. "Maybe we should send her away. I know you don't like the idea but-"

"No way, man. I promised her I'd always protect her. I promised her-”

"Well, maybe protectin’ her means sendin’ her to a foster family for a while," Darry kept pushing. Dally sighed.

"They could place her anywhere," her brother said, quietly. “We got some family back in New York they could give her to and we’d-” Rae heard his fist collide with something- a countertop maybe? “They wouldn’t let her out ‘til eighteen.” She looked down at her feet, tears springing to her eyes. Dally sounded so desperate. “She’d never forgive me.”

Silence stretched between them for a long while before Darry piped up again.

“What about Two-Bit’s mom?”

“What about her?”

“She loves Rae. Maybe if we told her- maybe she’d consider taking Rae in as a foster. She could still be here with us that way.”

“I dunno, Dar,” her brother said, his voice skeptical.

She walked away before anymore was said, wiping the wetness under one eye. She didn’t want to go away. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself.

Once back in the living room, Rae plastered a smile back on her face and joined the other two for a few badly-played hands of poker before Darry brought their dessert out.


	13. Memory

Rae sat up on the couch. The sun was just starting to show through the front window. The swelling in her cheek felt like it had dissipated, and even her wrist felt a lot better. Darry must have been experienced in wrapping bandages. It was still nice and tight. She shouldn’t be surprised- between Soda drag racing and rodeos, he’d probably had a lot of practice. 

She wiped the sleep from her eyes as Darry walked out from the hallway, heading for the kitchen. He glanced over at Rae and did a double take when he saw that she was awake. He stopped midstep.

"'Mornin’, Rae," Darry said, quietly. She opened her mouth to respond but he held a finger to his lips and pointed towards the armchair. Dally was spread out as best as his long limbs could, covered in a thin blanket, asleep. "He hasn't got much sleep the last week." She got up and walked over to Darry. 

“Why’s he in the chair?”

“I tried to wake up to get him to move to Soda’s room but he wouldn’t budge.” She smiled and looked back at her brother.

“He don’t look so tough when he’s asleep, huh?” 

"I can hear ya, ya know," Dally mumbled. Rae let out a short laugh. Darry smiled as well and went into the kitchen to start breakfast. 

“Why don’t that surprise me? It’s like you got a third eye that watches me when you’re asleep.” Dally sat up in the chair and moved the blanket to the cushioned arm.

"Hey, don’t go spoutin’ my secrets." He nodded towards her. “C’mere.” She did as she was bid and moved to him. He grabbed her good hand pulled her down into his lap.

"What are you-" He silenced her with a wave of his hand. The last time Dally had let her sit in his lap, they were kids. Before Dally went to jail- before his eyes turned icey and hard.

"Talk to me," he said, loosely wrapping his arms around her. 

"Dallas, are you still asleep?"

"Ain’t I allowed to be nice sometimes?" 

“Well, it ain’t normal.” 

“C’mon, I’m tryin’ to be serious here-” 

“I don’t know-,” she started, cutting him off. She desperately wanted this, but she wasn’t sure where to start… “I feel like there’s somethin’ wrong with me.” 

“Wrong like what?” She laid her head down on his chest and sighed. He kept one arm around her back, but rested the other across her legs.

“I’m so pissed off all the time. I know I ain’t exactly got the best track record in terms of controllin’ my temper but now, it’s just worse. I mean- punchin’ a wall over nothin’? That ain’t me.”

“It runs in the family. I mean, look at me. Look at, well, you know,” Dally reminded her. “But look, what happened to ya- it’s-it’s enough to change a person.” 

“I don’t even remember it happenin’-”

“It don’t matter. You know it happened. That’s enough.”

“I sure as hell feel a whole lot better when you’re around. I’m just...” Rae hesitated to continue.

“Spit it out,” he ordered.

“I’m just afraid you’ll leave again,” she answered, honestly. 

"Hey, I’ve kept my word so far, ain’t I?" She huffed a laugh and nodded.

“Yeah.”

"I know you heard. Last night in the kitchen," Dally confessed. “And don’t you worry. I ain’t sendin’ you away.” His arms tightened around her and he rested his chin on top of her head. She breathed a sigh of relief and closed her eyes.

"Thank you,” she said, her voice fading. She curled her body into him like she was five years old again…

_"Mommy, why is your eye black?" Rae’s tiny, high-pitched voice asked her mother. She was sitting on a countertop in the kitchen, watching her mother make dinner. She stopped briefly to put Rae back on the floor. Dally stood leaning against the open doorway, arms crossed, an angry expression on his face._

_"Don't you worry about it, sweetheart," their mother replied. When she heard the sound of a car engine outside, she paled. "Dallas, would you take your sister and go upstairs? Your father's home." They heard the front door open and slam shut._

_"He ain’t my father," Dally protested, but took his sister's hand and led her up the stairs. He left Rae in her room and made sure to close her door, but when the yelling started she could still hear it. Her father scared her- he scared all of them._

_She covered her ears when she heard something break against a wall. Tears were streaming from her eyes and she ran across the hall for her brother’s room._

_"What's wrong?" he asked as she burst through the door. He was sitting on his bed, a comic book spread out before him. “Can you hear them?”_

_"Please make them stop, Dally!" Rae sobbed. He sighed and opened his arms to her._

_"Come here," he said. She climbed on to his bed and into his lap. He closed his arms around her when she was settled. "I'm sorry. I can't make them stop. Just stay here with me for a while and try to go to sleep." She quieted down after a few minutes and could feel her eyes drooping. Dally gently laid her down on the bed and went to close the bedroom door. He climbed back into his bed and covered them both up._

_As she was drifting away, Rae heard the front door slam again and the car engine start. Their mother came into the bedroom and bent over them, giving each of her children a kiss on the temple._

_"I'm sorry," she whispered, sadly, and left the room. Rae could have sworn she saw her mother wiping her face as she left._

"Rae? Kid, wake up," Dally's voice commanded, pulling her out of her memories. She lifted her head from her brother's chest. "You’re gonna be late for school."

"What?" Rae asked, her eyes half opened.

"You fell asleep," he explained. “School. Now.” She nodded and slid off his lap, then went into the kitchen and gladly accepted a steaming mug of coffee from Darry, hoping it would wake her up.

After the two older Curtis brothers left for work, Rae grabbed her clothes and went to change. When she emerged from the bathroom, Ponyboy was combing the last bit of hair grease into his hair.

"You ready?" he asked, tossing the comb onto the coffee table. She nodded and lifted her backpack to her shoulder.

“I’ll give ya’ll a ride,” Dally offered, pulling his boots on. He had Buck’s car parked outside. 

When they reached the school, Rae found her blonde friend sitting on the front steps, rocking back and forth on her feet. Immediately, she brightened.

"Carrie's waitin' for me. I'll see ya after school, huh?" she said to Dally as he pulled up to the curb. 

“Hey, wait a sec,” he said as she was opening the car door. She shrugged and sat back in her seat. Ponyboy was out of the car and headed towards the front doors of the school with nothing but a curt wave after the pointed look Dally gave him. 

“Yeah?” she asked. He reached into the back seat and flung a new leather jacket into her lap. She held it up by the shoulders. “What’s this for?”

“Ya know, a birthday present. That jean jacket of yours is gettin’ ratty.” A wide smile spread across her face as she inspected the jacket. It was cut so that it would fit snug around her body. She leaned across the middle console and gave him a swift kiss on the cheek.

“Thanks, Dally.”

“Alright, alright. Now, get outta here and go learn somethin’.” 

At his command, Rae slid herself out of the car and watched as her brother drove off.

"Was was Buck’s car?" Carrie asked, coming up behind her friend. They headed to their first class.

“Oh, yeah- I guess Dally borrows it from time to time.”

“Man, your brother sure looks real tough.”

"Where do ya think I get it from?” Rae asked, a sly smile creeping onto her face.


	14. Dance

That afternoon, Rae and Two-Bit walked Ponyboy home from school. When they got to the house, Tim and Curly Shepard were sitting on the front steps. Tim had a smile on his face and was making fun of his younger brother. The second he saw the trio approaching, he stopped and stood up.

"Uh, hey guys," Ponyboy said when they reached the steps. "You guys could’ve gone in, ya know." Tim shrugged and looked over at his brother, an expectant look on his face. Curly had his hands stuffed in his pockets, trying not to make eye contact with any of them, looking completely put-out and annoyed. Tim gripped his brother’s arm and hoisted him to his feet.

"Stop bein’ shy," Tim ordered and pushed Curly towards Rae. Curly shrugged out of his brother’s grip.

“Gimme a minute. Jesus.” 

“Curly, shy?” Rae asked, an amused smile tugging at her lips. “You gotta be kiddin’ me.”

“I never shoulda told ‘im,” he mumbled as turned towards his girlfriend. “So, there’s this dance at your school this weekend...I guess it’s the homecomin’ dance or some shit...” Tim crossed his arms over his chest. “And I, uh-”

"Get to the point," Tim said, impatiently. “We have places to be.” Curly rolled his eyes, scowling. His ears were turning red.

"Well, I was, uh, wonderin' if you'd like to, uh..." He looked down at the ground and cleared his throat. “To go with me?” Rae’s face turned a bright red. Two-Bit, who was very obviously trying to make himself otherwise engaged, took one look at her face and burst into a fit of laughter. Ponyboy stood nearby, eyes wide, not even trying to hide his surprise and embarrassment for the situation. "This is stupid. If you don't wanna to go-" Curly went to turn back to his brother.

"No!," she interrupted, forcefully. He paused and faced her again. She tucked her hair behind an ear and noddded. “No, I wanna go.”

"Really?" She smiled and nodded. 

“Why not?” He smiled as well, and then looked around at the rest of the guys watching them.

"Show’s over now, assholes." They all looked away in unison. 

The night before the dance, Two-Bit dropped her off at the newly opened mall in town. Carrie met them at the entrance. This place made her nervous. It seemed a little on the rich side, if you asked her.

“Alright,” he said. “Meet me back here in an hour.” Rae nodded her understanding as her friend leaned into the open window.

“Hey, Two-Bit,” she said. 

“Hey, kid,” he answered with a nod. Carrie looked at Rae. 

“Ready? Got your money?”

“Yeah, let’s go,” Rae answered and opened the car door. They headed inside.

“Any specific color?” Carrie asked while they browsed clothing racks full of dresses. Rae had asked her to come- she always preferred to wear jeans over skirts, but Carrie wore dresses often.

“No idea,” she answered. “I ain’t good at all this-” Rae waved her arms, motioning in the direction of the rack. “-girly shit.” When she looked at her friend again, she noticed Carrie wasn’t paying attention. The other girl was staring right past her, a thoughtful look on her face. Rae turned to find out what she was looking at. She frowned.

“Don’t you think that’s a little...fancy for someone like me?” A sly smile crept over Carrie’s face, wide enough to show her teeth. For a second, Rae thought she was looking at the Cheshire Cat from _Alice in Wonderland_.

“No way. I think it’s perfect,” her friend said as she pushed past her to grab the dress. “And I know exactly how I’m gonna do your hair.”

On the night of the dance, Curly offered Rae his arm as they got out of the truck they borrowed from Tim. She felt incredibly uncomfortable in the dress that Carrie had chosen for her, but she had to admit- she looked pretty choice. 

Carrie had draped her in a...what had she called it? A deep purple swing dress with a full skirt and a… a boat neck? It was pulled in tightly around her middle with a tied bow in the back and she wore black kitten heels on her feet. Half of her long hair had been swept up into a small beehive, the rest cascading down her neck and shoulders in soft curls. She had thick, black eyeliner drawn around her eyes, matched with purple and black shadow, her lips painted a dark plum. 

Curly’s shirt matched the deep purple of her dress and he had his signature leather jacket on overtop with black dress slacks and his regular pair of black leather boots. 

Darry, pulled into the spot next to them, smiled at the two and waited for Pony and Johnny to get out of the bed.

“Ya’ll behave,” he ordered, eyeing his little brother pretty hard. “And call if anything happens.” Usually, a dance wasn’t a greaser scene, but Darry insisted the other two go- just in case. Johnny and Ponyboy didn't have dates but they figured there might be a girl or two in the same situation. Two-Bit said he might show up too- probably with a beer in hand, but when was he not drinking? “I don’t wanna get a call from the school tellin’ me about some stupid prank ya pulled.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Pony mumbled under his breath.

"We’ll see ya later," Curly said. Darry nodded and drove off. They walked up to a lady seated at a desk right outside the gym.

"Tickets?" she asked. Her voice was polite, but she looked them all up and down, eyes fill of disdain. Curly frowned, but handed her all four tickets without saying anything. Once inside, they met Carrie and her date at a table they had claimed. 

Her blonde friend wore a powder blue, off-shoulder swing dress with a sheer tulle overlay that glittered under the lights and belted in the front, her hair pinned back in a high, curly ponytail. 

When they’d dropped off their jackets and things, Curly held out his hand, an unasked question in his eyes. Rae smiled, softly, and let him lead her onto the dance floor.

He pulled her close, his hold on her waist firm, but gentle. She rested her arms loosely around his shoulders.

“You look really…,” he started and cleared his throat. She looked down, her cheeks filling with color. “Really beautiful.”

“You keep talkin’ like that, you’re brother’s gonna have you committed,” she laughed. 

“What, I ain’t allowed to compliment my own girlfriend?”

Before she could answer, Two-bit came up behind them and slapped Curly on the back, a big loony smile on his face and a can of beer wrapped in a brown paper bag in his hand. The impact caused Curly to pitch forward, stepping on Rae’s foot. She sucked in a breath at the pain. He righted them both and turned to glare at their friend.

“Sorry, R-”

“Would ya put that away?” Rae hissed, ignoring Curly’s apology. “You’re gonna get us kicked outta here. Shoulda seen the look we got comin’ in” Her friend rolled his eyes, but chugged his drink and wandered off to find a trash can. Once he was gone, she focused her attention back on Curly.

"Thanks for comin' tonight," she said as they swayed in each other’s arms.

"I think I’d do anythin’ for ya," he said, a small smile creeping to his lips. Rae felt her cheeks heat up a bit. When the first slow dance ended, Two-Bit was stalking back over to them. 

“Pony and Johnny are sittin’ over there like sad lil’ puppies with no dates. Hard to watch,” he said, and looked at Rae. “Wanna dance with your ole pal, Two-Bit?” She looked at Curly, who stepped aside and let the other boy in. He went to meet up with Pony and Johnny, who were standing against the wall, sipping punch. 

The next song started and Two-Bit took Rae's waist.

'You look real pretty tonight. Carrie pick the dress?" he asked. She huffed a laugh and nodded.

“She did the hair and makeup too.” She shrugged. “I don’t hate it. Should’a seen Curly’s face when he pulled up earlier. I thought his jaw was gonna fall off his skull. I’m gonna sleep over at her place soon and she’s gonna teach me. Maybe I’ll start wearin’ dresses more often.”

“Man, you’re such a liar.” She laughed again. 

“You’re prob’ly right about that.” They swayed in silence for a few seconds. The dance floor was filling up with other couples. 

“Have you thought anymore about what we talked about? About who attacked you?” Rae looked down and sighed.

"Yeah- I don’t remember seein’ her face," she started, thinking back now that her head wasn’t pounding. “But I think I know who the voice belongs to.”

_“Curly’s here alright, but he’s asleep. Don’t know if ya heard, but he got into a fight with some Brumly brutes over one thing or another.” A soft laugh over the phone receiver. “He’ll prob’ly be out for the rest of the night but you can call back later and see-”_

_“Surprise, bitch.”_

"That's good," Two-Bit said, with a sad smile. It faded slowly into a straight line. "When are ya gonna to tell him?”

"Soon. Maybe tonight." He nodded and left it alone. They danced the rest of the song in silence.

When their dance ended, they joined the other boys. They stood against the wall for a while, laughing and messing around, as they watched the Socs dance. Some of them stared back at the group, incredulously. Rae thought she saw Carrie and her dark-haired date dancing amongst the elite.

“You wanna go join ‘em?” Curly asked, getting close to her ear so she could hear him over the noise. He held out his hand. She smiled and took it. As he led her over, she grabbed onto Pony’s sleeve and dragged him with them. Johnny followed as well.

“Hey!” Carrie yelled over the music, her face lighting up at the sight of them. “Join us!” She separated from her partner and grabbed on to Rae’s arm. Soon, all of them were swaying in a circle. 

Chrissy eventually barrelled in with a shining black shift dress, hair piled on top of her head and stiff with hairspray, complaining loudly about her date showing up drunk as hell and abandoning her to hang with the “boys” and get high. Rae laughed when she spied her trying to get close to Ponyboy. She leaned into Carrie and whispered. Her friend looked towards Chrissy and burst out laughing.

It was contagious and Rae found herself laughing, too, until she heard some commotion behind them.

“Come on, Bob.” Cherry’s sugar-laced voice filtered through the crowd. “Stop drinking and spend some time with me,” she begged. 

Before she could even roll her eyes, a body collided with her and Carrie’s backs, forcing them forward. Rae fell, her knees knocking on the hard tile floor of the gym. She glanced to the side, where Bob had rolled after knocking her over, drunkenly giggling to himself, an expensive silver flask in his hand. Cherry let out a frustrated growl.

“Randy, help him up,” she sighed. Curly bent down to help her up. She let him lift her from the ground. At the same time, Randy was also helping his drunk friend off the floor, and he put his foot down on the skirt of her dress. As she stood up, Rae heard a ripping sound and froze. 

“Oh, shit,” she heard Cherry whisper. Bob burst out laughing again. When Rae was finally on her feet, she checked out the hem of her skirt. Part of it was torn from the skirt, hanging to the ground. She ground her teeth, the rage roiling in her stomach. Cherry’s mouth opened in the form of an apology. Anger gurgled up her throat, hot and sour. 

"Don't worry about it,” Rae bit out and shoved her way through the crowd toward the table her friends had left their jackets. Carrie was on her heels and Curly followed her. 

“We can get my mom to fix it- she’s real good at sewin’,” her blonde friend offfered when they finally reached the table. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” she snapped but stopped and took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment. “Sorry, Carrie. I think I just want to go home. Those assholes always have to ruin everything.”

“It’s alright,” Carrie said quietly, as Curly came forward to grab their stuff and follow her towards the exit. 

Rae burst through the doors to the gym. The cold air hit her face and the heat inside her started to die down. She inhaled through her nose and a sigh escaped her mouth. Curly laid his leather jacket across her shoulders.

“You sure you want to go home already? It’s still early. We could go somewhere-” Rae shook her head. He put his hand on the small of her back and led her down the steps outside the building while digging in his pocket for the keys to his brother’s truck.

“Could we walk? ” 

“Oh-yeah, sure.” They started heading towards the Curtis house. “What about Pony and Johnny?”

“They’re old enough to find their own way home,” she retorted. Curly lit up a smoke as they walked. Rae took a steadying breath. This was as good a time as any, she supposed. "Besides, I have something to tell you."

"What is it?"

"Remember when I got beat up?” she asked, motioning to the back of her head. “Knocked me clean out?”

"Yeah, course. Socs, right?" He lifted the cigarette to his mouth.

"No," she started. He looked down to her, pausing his drag.

"What? Then who?" She chewed on the inside of her mouth for a second before answering.

"I-I think it was Angela."


	15. Brave

Chapter 15 - Brave

Twenty minutes later, Rae sat on the Curtis’s couch wearing a camisole and a baggy pair of pajama pants, borrowed from Sodapop. She hugged her knees to her chest and avoided Curly’s eyes. He was sitting in the chair across from the couch, watching her in silence, chewing on the inside of his mouth. Ponyboy had dragged himself in a few minutes before, yawning, after making sure Johnny got home safe, and dropped into bed. Darry was already asleep, but Soda had volunteered to make them some hot chocolate.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" he asked, rubbing his temples.

"Well, Curly, I wasn’t sure,” she told him. 

“And you’re _sure_ now?”

“Well it sure sounded like her voice-”

“So you don’t know for sure?”

“It’s still…fuzzy.” He sighed, loudly, through his nose. “I’m...I’m pretty sure, Curly.”

“Alright, fine. You’re prob’ly right.”

“Why she would do this?”

"Who the hell knows. The older she gets the more out of control she is," Curly said, rolling his eyes. “Not like mom’s doin’ shit to straighten her out.” Soda came into the room, holding two mugs of steaming liquid and they both snapped their jaws shut. He handed one to each of them.

"Drink up. I'm goin’ to bed. Make sure to wash those when you’re done," Soda ordered and made for the room he shared with Pony. Rae took a sip from her mug and set it on the table next to the couch.

"I think she’s been doin’ more than just grass," Curly admitted, once he’d heard the door close, and set his hot chocolate down as well. “She was prob’ly pretty blitzed. Heroin. She tries to hide it, but most of the time it’s pretty damn obvious. Brumly’s been pushin’ it for a while now and she’s been gettin’ real friendly with-”

"Yeah, what a great excuse to beat the shit outta someone," she muttered, cutting him off. "If your mom ain’t gonna do shit, maybe you an’ Tim should put a leash on that girl yourselves.”

"Hey, she’s still my sister," Curly hissed, annoyance lacing his words.

"Yeah, and she hit me hard enough to knock me out and almost broke my fuckin’ nose!" Rae let her legs go and her feet slid to the floor. Her back bristled as she sat up. “She can’t be allowed to just do what she wants, Curly. She’s fourteen and she’s high on heroin? One of these days she’ll fuck with the wrong person and she’ll end up dead!” Frustration boiled up inside of her- and even maybe a little jealousy. Curly was gripping the arms of the chair, tightly. 

“Don’t ya think I know that? Who d’ya think’s been turning her in so she’ll get sent to rehab?” His voice wobbled a little. After all these years, she’d never seen Curly cry before. Realization struck her. 

Of course. Why wouldn’t he defend his sister? She’d defend Dally to her dying breath.

The fight instantly left her and she mentally kicked herself for feeling the way that she did. Rae leaned her head against the back of the couch and took a deep breath to calm herself down. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes as she stared up at the ceiling. She was getting real tired of these God damn mood swings. “I’m sorry. I just wish I knew why.”

“You’re right, okay?” he started and sighed. “You’re right. Maybe we should’a kept more an eye on her instead of lettin’ her run wild. Maybe we’ve given her too much freedom, knowin’ what she was doin’ with it.” She heard him stand up and move over to her. He sat down on the cushion beside her. She lifted her head and he stretched his arm out to lay across her shoulders. 

“I ain’t feelin’ like myself, Curly,” Rae sighed, leaning into his body. “Ever since…” She trailed off, not knowing how to continue. He nodded, knowingly. “I don’t know. I’m so mad all the time. I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

“You’ve been through a lot in the past few weeks,” he reminded her. 

“I know, but…” She heaved a sigh. “You don’t hate me, do you?”

"I don’t think I could ever hate ya," he said and kissed the top of her head. She blinked the tears from her eyes and sat up to face him. His crooked smile appeared and she leaned in, pressing her forehead against his. Curly threaded his fingers in her hair and Rae felt a chill run up her spine. He grasped the back of her head and brought her lips against his. She closed her eyes and kissed him back, excitement running through her veins.

He gently laid her back on the couch, only disconnecting their lips for a few short breaths. She let it happen, feeling the exhilaration all the way in her fingertips. She grabbed his face with both hands and kissed him harder. 

Before long, though, Rae felt his hands wander down to the tie of her pants. She felt a tug, the string trying to be undone. The heat turned to ice in a second and her stomach soured. She turned her head away from his mouth. He started leaving a trail of small kisses down her exposed neck, not sensing her discomfort. Her hands started to shake, her breath becoming short.

“Curly?” 

“Hm?” 

“Curly, please-.” She pushed against his chest.

Instantly, he was up, looking down at her, eyes wide with worry and fear.

"I-I don’t think I can-," she stuttered. The look he gave her-

"I'm- I’m sorry," he breathed. She sat up, slowly. "I'm-"

"It’s okay,” she told him. “You stopped. It’s fine. I just-”

"But I shouldn’t have even-"

"Don’t worry." She put a shaky hand on top of his and took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. “Just not yet.” He nodded, turning his hand and tightening his fingers around hers. She gave him a small smile.

"I’d-I’d better get home. Tim’ll be wantin’ his truck back and I gotta go all the way back to the school to get it." He reached out and stroked her cheek with his thumb, then tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. He leaned in and kissed her carefully, like she was a porcelain doll that might break if handled roughly. At this point, maybe she was. “Goodnight.”

"Be careful," Rae whispered when their lips separated. 

“Always am.” He got up and went for the door, looking thoughtful and upset. Her heart squeezed at the sight of his face. He paused just outside and gave someone outside a solemn nod, then rushed down the steps and into the dark. A few seconds later, Dally walked in, watching Curly leave, over his shoulder. He turned to Rae.

"Hey, kid," he said. Rae smiled, softly.

"Hey, Dal." He slipped his jacket off and laid it over the arm of the chair. She offered him the seat Curly had just been sitting in. Her brother dropped down onto the couch.

“Did ya’ll have a good time tonight?” She shrugged.

“It was alright. Pretty fun until some drunk asshole knocked me over and ripped my dress.”

“Soc?”

“Who else would get away with pullin’ that shit in public?”

“Good point,” Dally conceded. They were both quiet for a few seconds. “So anyway- I’m real proud of ya.”

"Proud?" Rae asked, turning to him. “For what?”

"Most broads wouldn’t say no." Rae looked over to the large front window.

“Were you outside the whole time?” she asked, cheeks turning to fire.

“Not the _whole_ time.” She groaned and covered her eyes with her hands. He smirked. She fell over into his lap.

“Ohhh,” she groaned. “That’s so embarrassing!” He moved her hands and looked down at her.

“It was real brave.” 

“Thanks, Dally,” she said, smiling up at him. Then he flicked her on the forehead hard enough that her skull made a _thunk_. “Ow!”

“Just don’t let it go to your head.” She scoffed, but examined his face closer.

“You look tired.”

“That ain’t very nice. And I just went outta my way to-”

"I know it’s my fault, isn’t it?" she concluded. Her brother frowned. “I know it is.”

"What makes ya think that?" he asked, looking down at her.

"You’re always stuck lookin’ after me,” she answered. “Instead of doin’ the things ya wanna do.”

"Don’t _you_ ever think that," Dally ordered, his voice sharp. “I can’t say it ain’t hard at times-but kid, if I didn’t wanna look after ya, I wouldn’t.” He shrugged. “Besides, I can still look after ya- and do plenty of things I want.” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a large wad of cash. “Speakin’ of, I made a killin’ at the rodeo tonight.” Rae sat up and watched him flip through the bills, counting them quicker than she could. 

“Damn,” she squeaked. When he was finished, he put the money back into his pocket.

“Anyway, it’s late. Get to bed,” he said with a nod in the direction of the free bedroom down the hall.

“What about you?” she asked her brother as she made to stand up. 

“I’ll take the couch.”

“Why? It ain’t like we never slept in the same bed before.”

“Go to bed,” he ordered, firmly.

“Fine,” Rae pouted, trying to hide the disappointment in her voice. She’d always loved when they were kids- camping in each other’s rooms, the comfort she felt when he was next to her. It was really something she could use right about now... 

She padded across the living room and headed for Soda’s abandoned room. Across the hall, she could hear his snoring through the closed door of Ponyboy’s bedroom. With a sigh, she went to the empty room and dropped into the bed. 

Rae turned on to one side and clutched the quilt tightly around her body. Exhaustion flooded her body as she relaxed, and she closed her eyes, thinking back to when she and her brother were younger.

_Rae and Dally sat on the floor in the front room of their New York home. Her big brother had a busted lip, drying trails of blood dripping down his chin, and a dangerous look on his face. Their mother knelt down in front of them and reached out to clean his face with her handkerchief, but jumped at the loud yell that came from outside the open door. She dropped the cloth on the floor._

_"Let’s go, woman!” Rae could see her mother’s hand trembling._

_"I’m sorry," she whispered and stood up, smoothing the wrinkles in her skirt. “Please, Dallas, take care of your sister.” He nodded. Their mother smiled, sadly, and then went to meet their father outside. This was their usual exchange._

_The two siblings sat perfectly still until the car roared to life and pulled away from the curb. Dally wiped his chin with the sleeve of his shirt and looked at Rae._

_"Okay?” he asked._

_"Okay,” she answered, lip starting to quiver. She was lucky- she’d escaped the wrath of her father’s fists, but only because Dally had taken it all for her. She saw her brother’s fists clench. Tears formed in her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she whimpered._

_"What are big brothers for? I promised mom I’d always take care of you." He helped her to her feet. "Come on." He lead her to her room and put her to bed. She refused to let go of his hand, though, so he climbed in with her. They pulled the blanket over their heads and he told her ghost stories until Rae’s eyes started to droop and she curled up next to him, soaking in the comfort of his presence. Her small body stopped quivering and soon enough, she felt sleep overcome her._

Rae felt movement in the bed behind her. She cracked open her eyes but the room was dark, except for the light of the streetlamp barely filtering in through the blinds. She laid still and felt a body lay down next to hers. 

"I'm sorry for not keepin’ my promise,” she heard Dally murmur. She wondered if he was thinking of the same night, or if he even knew she was awake. She pressed her back against his. Warmth spread over her- warmth and safety. Rae felt him relax against her and she listened until her brother’s breathing evened out. With a smile, she closed her eyes and let herself doze off again.


	16. Mouthy

When Rae woke up in the morning, Dally wasn’t in bed anymore. She wondered what time it was and how long she had slept. She sat up and took a look around the room. Her brother had left the bedroom door open. Someone was in the kitchen making breakfast, pots and pans banging around, oil popping. Probably Darry. She could also hear someone in the shower. 

Rae pushed the blanket off her body and slid out of the bed. She made her way to the kitchen, yawning and wiping the sleep from her eyes. Sure enough, Darry was in front of the stove, frying some eggs in one pan, a second pan full of shredded hash browns cooking on the burner next to it. He looked up when she walked in and gave her a small smile.

"Mornin’, Rae," he said. She gave him a small wave with one hand, covering her mouth with the other against another yawn. He lifted his spatula "Want some food?"

"Yeah, sure," she replied. "What time is it?" Darry took a look at his watch.  
.  
"’Bout a quarter to nine," he answered, then went to flip the eggs and crack a couple more into the oil. She gave him a thumbs up in lieu of a ‘thank you’ and walked out of the kitchen. She made her way back down the hall in search of a new outfit. Even tied, Soda’s pajama pants were on the verge of falling off her hips and she’d dropped off some clothes the night before when they went to the dance. By the time she made it down the hallway, Rae noticed steam was coming out of the now open bathroom door. She peered inside and saw Dally standing in front of the mirror, wearing nothing but a pair of jeans, running a razor over his chin. She leaned in the doorway and crossed her arms, watching him. He caught her staring at him out of the corner of his eye and turned towards her.

"What?" he asked. All of the shaving cream was pretty much gone from his face.

"Waitin’ for your slow ass to get outta there so I can have a turn.” He scoffed, but grabbed a towel to wipe his face off.

"Fine, fine," he said, rolling his eyes. “When did ya get so mouthy?” 

“Wonder who I get it from,” came her sarcastic reply. She lifted herself off the door frame with a pointed smile and went to gather her clothes. When she got back to the bathroom, her brother had vacated it. Rae closed the door, stripped out of Soda’s clothes and jumped into the tub. She turned on the shower and let the hot water wash over her. A sort of heaviness vanished from her chest, her breathing suddenly easier. 

A knock at the door brought her back to reality. She jumped and almost slipped. 

"What?" she yelled.

"How long you gunna be?" Two-Bit's voice came through the door. “Some of us, ya know, need to use the _facilities_.”

"You don’t pipe down and I’ll take longer!" she called out and rinsed the rest of the soap off her skin. She turned the water off, got out, and dried off. She threw on a long-sleeved shirt and some jeans. She exited the bathroom, comb in hand. Rae scowled at Two-Bit as she ran the comb through her hair. He stood, leaning against the opposite wall.

“There, happy?”

"Finally," her friend said in reply. "You’ve been in there forever." Her eyebrows lifted in mock surprise. She started backing up into the bathroom and put her hand on the door, ready to close it in his face. “Oh, come on,” her friend said, pushing himself off the wall. She pointed a finger at him in mock seriousness.

“Be nice to me.” A coy smile spread across her lips. He shook his head, but smiled as well.

“You’re in a good mood today,” he observed as he passed her and went into the bathroom. Rae headed for the front room. Dally was lounging on the couch, feet up on the coffee table. He had a plate in his hands, and he was cutting up his eggs with a fork. When she walked in, her brother looked up.

"What took you so long?" he asked after he swallowed his current mouthful. “Your breakfast is on the table.”

"Oh, just thinking," she confessed. Rae moved to the dining room table to grab her plate. She bit into a forkful of hash browns. It was cold. Oh well.

"You still day dream too much," he remarked. "Your friend called, uh, Carrie?” 

"Oh, yeah?" she asked with a full mouth. “What’d she want?”

"She said somethin’ ‘bout a sleepover?” 

"Oh!" Rae exclaimed. "Did she say when?" She forked some egg into her mouth.

“She said she was hopin’ for tonight if it was alright with me,” her brother answered. “Doesn’t Buck have a sister named Carrie?” 

“Mmm. Yeah, she’s Buck’s sister,” she acknowledged and swallowed. “Chrissy’s mom must’ve finally come around.” Rae looked at her brother with pleading eyes. “And?” Dally pointed at her.

“Don’t look at me like that, kid,” he ordered. “Ya don’t need to beg. I think it’d be good for ya to get out for a night.” She smiled, and stuffing another forkful of potatoes into her mouth.

“Thanks, Dally!” She was pretty sure she might’ve spit some food at him.

“Manners?” 

“Please, like you have any more manners than I do.” Rae reached her hand out to take his empty plate. He handed it to her and she wandered back into the kitchen to do the dishes. 

“Just make sure to have your homework done before ya go!” he called after her. 

“Yeah, yeah,” she grumbled. 

Once she was done in the kitchen, Rae did as Dally ordered and sat on the couch while working on her History paper. Two-Bit dropped into the seat next to her after a while. As she finished each page, she handed the pieces of paper to him to proofread. He may not try very hard, but he sure was smart as hell. He went over with her what she needed to fix, and went to throw together a couple of sandwiches for lunch while she did so. 

“Ya know, Two-Bit,” she started, biting into her sandwich. “You’d get good grades if ya actually gave a shit. Ya could probably get into one those, um, ya know? Really good colleges?” He shrugged, taking a sip from his glass of milk.

“Where’s the fun in that?” She huffed a laugh and continued eating her lunch, reviewing her paper one last time. 

Later in the afternoon, Dally wandered back to the Curtis house from wherever he had been. Rae was stretched out on the couch watching television. Two-Bit had gone home a while before and Pony was reading in his room. She sat up when her brother walked through the door and flattened her hair with her fingers.

“I ain’t got the car today,” he announced. “But I’ll walk ya to Carrie’s.”

“You know where it is?”

“Oh, yeah. I’ve been to Buck’s parents’ loads of times.”

"Alright," she said and went to grab her backpack. Rae poked her head into Pony’s room and told him what was up. He nodded and she went to join Dally again in the living room. As soon as they were outside, he lit up a cigarette and then reached into his back pocket. He held out a couple of tens.

“If ya’ll decide to go out,” he started. She reached for the bills. He pulled his hand away, quickly, before she could grab them. “Be. Careful. Ya know what happened last time.” 

“I know,” she drawled. He lowered the money back down to her. She pocketed them in the same pocket her brother kept his money in. “Thanks, Dally.” He took a drag of his smoke. 

Before they reached Carrie’s house, Dally put out his cigarette and aired out his jacket so he wouldn’t smell like smoke. Rae knocked on the door and was greeted by Carrie’s mother.

“Rae Lee! It’s so great to see you again!” she exclaimed in her endearing ‘mom’ voice. Out of the corner of her eye, Rae saw her brother trying to hold back a laugh at the use of her middle name. She’d always hated it. When a call came from down the hall and the older woman turned to answer it, she took the opportunity to elbow Dally in the side. He blew out a surprised breath, his chest shaking with silent chuckles. “Dallas, it’s great to see you too,” Carrie’s mother said, and put a gentle hand on his arm. 

“Yeah, you too Mrs. Merril,” he said, his most gentlemanly smile plastered on his face, trying to calm his laughter. “Can’t stay, though. Just droppin’ my little sister off.”

“I had no idea you two were related!” She looked them both up and down, trying to find the resemblance. “Anyway, honey, come on in. The girls are waiting for you in Carrie’s room.” She turned to head back inside, but stopped to look at Dally again. “Won’t you stay for dinner?”

“Oh-no, ma’am. Thank you. I got somewhere to be.”

“Alright, sweetheart. Take care. And Dallas, next time you see Buck, let him know it isn’t a crime to come visit his mother now and again. His grandparents missed him on our trip.”

“Of course, Mrs. Merril.” She disappeared into the house again. Rae turned to her brother. 

“See ya tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” he answered and ruffled her hair.

“Stop!” she whined, but tried to reach up to his feathery, blonde hair. She stood on her tiptoes but he moved out of her reach and she pouted. “That’s not fair, you’re too tall. I can’t reach your stupid head.” 

“Go have some fun, kid.” She stuck her tongue out at him and turned to wander into the house. “But ya know, not _too_ much fun.” She heard Dally shut the door behind her.


	17. Sleepover

Rae followed the dim hallway to the last door on the right, still smiling and shaking her head at her brother’s last words. She heard muffled words through the closed door, and then laughter. When she turned the knob and pushed the door open, they stopped and turned in surprise. She smiled brighter at her two friends.

“Hey, guys.”

“Rae!” Carrie exclaimed, excitedly bouncing up and down on the mattress, her blonde ponytail moving with her. 

“‘Bout time you got here,” Chrissy said, sitting on the floor, rifling through her own bag. Rae threw her backpack on the bed and dropped into the hardwood chair sitting by the desk. 

“Why, are there some pressing matters that I need to attend to?” She watched her friend for a few more seconds. “What are ya lookin’ for?” Carrie came up next to her.

“Chrissy wants us to help her dye her hair tonight.” Rae lifted an eyebrow. “Mom said as long as we don’t ruin the tub.”

“What makes ya think I know anything about colorin’ hair?”

“Oh, it ain’t hard,” Chrissy chided with a _tsk_.

“What color, anyway?” The other girl finally found what she was looking for and set the plastic case down on the floor.

“I wanna see what red looks like.” Rae tilted her head, imagining the color in her friend’s hair, over her natural light brown. 

“I dunno much about these things, really, but I think it’d look mighty nice.” 

“You oughta give it a try too, Rae. Our hair color’s pretty close.” 

“Oh, I dunno about-”

“Girls!” Carrie’s mom called from the kitchen. “Dinner’s ready!”

“Okay!” Carrie shouted back.

“I got a surprise for you two too, if you wanna,” Chrissy said.

“A surprise?” Carrie asked, turning back to them. She flipped her ponytail over her shoulder. Chrissy gave her a tight-lipped, mischievous smile and refused to elaborate. “Fine, then. Later. Let’s go eat. I’m hungry.” Rae stood from her chair and followed her friends back to the kitchen. They all took seats around the table. 

“What’s good, mom?” Carrie asked, unfolding her napkin and placing it on her lap. Rae didn’t have many table manners- so she followed Carrie’s lead and did the same. 

“Just a spiral ham, some mashed potatoes, and corn.” The older woman set plates full of food in front of each of them. “Your father’s stuck at work late tonight, so it’s just us.” Rae’s eyes widened at the food.

“This looks great, Mrs. Merrill!” she exclaimed and picked up her fork and started mixing the corn into her potatoes. “Mashed potatoes are my favorite.”

“Eat as much as you want, honey. You’re so tiny,” Carrie’s mom said, smoothing Rae’s hair down, then took her own place at the table. 

After dinner, the three girls sat, once again, in Carrie’s room. Chrissy had stripped down to a camisole and shorts. She was sitting with a straight back on the desk chair, in the process of fastening a towel around her shoulders with a pin, after showing Carrie how to mix the dye. Rae was pulling rubber gloves over her hands. 

“All you gotta do is just make sure that it covers my entire head. Try not to get it on my scalp,” Chrissy instructed. She handed Rae a small flat brush, just like the one Carrie was stirring the mix with. 

“Don’t get this on the floor or my mom’ll kill me,” Carrie ordered. They both started putting hair color into their friend’s hair, carefully. Once they’d finished and cleaned up, Chrissy fitted a shower cap over her head and Carrie turned on the small TV in her room. She tossed each girl a Dum Dum from an open bag sitting on her nightstand. Rae lounged on the bed and stuck the lollipop in her mouth. 

“So, how long?” she asked. 

“‘Bout half an hour,” Chrissy responded, unwrapping her candy. “You sure you don’t wanna give it a try?”

“Dally’d kill me,” Rae responded, trying to focus on the television. 

“Well, then, what about this?” Her friend reached for the container she’d brought and popped it open. Inside was a small sewing kit and a few pairs of cheap earrings. Rae leaned in to look at the needles. 

“Ear piercing?” Carrie asked. “Have you done it before?”

“Yeah, I did my little sister’s,” Chrissy said, pulling the sewing kit out of the box. “That’s why I was grounded.”

“Did somethin’ go wrong?” Rae inquired, suspiciously. 

“Nah. Ma just didn’t like the fact that I stuck a needle through her earlobe,” she said with a smirk. “Her ear is fine.”

“I dunno, Chrissy,” Rae said, uncertainty in her voice. 

“Oh, come on,” the other girl urged. She leaned in towards her friends. “It doesn’t hurt much.”

“If it’ll get you to shut up, fine,” Rae conceded. She nodded towards Carrie. “But you have to do it too.” 

“Yeah, yeah, alright.” Chrissy jumped up, excitedly and delegated tasks.

“Carrie, go get a cup of ice cubes and a potato from the kitchen. Wash the skin off real good and cut it in half. Rae, get me like a, uh, washcloth or some toilet paper or something.” 

Once they’d gathered all their materials, Chrissy sat Rae down in the chair and had her hold an ice cube to her earlobe. She held the needle and the potato up to her friend’s eye level.

“Okay. Needle goes through the lobe and the potato catches it in the back. Sit very still, and be ready with the rag.” Carrie sat next to Rae, a ratty washcloth ready in her hand. “Okay. Ice cube down. Deep breath in.”

Rae hissed at the pain. Carrie was there in an instant to catch whatever blood fell. Chrissy pulled the needle through and put the earring in. 

“That wasn’t so bad, huh? Other side.”

After they were finished, they went to the bathroom to wash the dye out of their friend’s hair. As Carrie scrubbed the color out of Chrissy’s hair, Rae leaned towards the mirror to inspect their handiwork. It was weird, for sure, but at least they were even. Dally was gonna flip, but she thought Curly might like them. She sat on the countertop and leaned her head against the wall, feeling the adrenaline leave her body and a throbbing in her ears flare up. 

Sometime after Chrissy had towel-dried her hair and they’d changed into their pajamas, Carrie’s mother came in bearing pillows and blankets.

“Have a good night, girls.”

“You two, Mrs. Merrill,” Chrissy offered and started making her bed on the floor. Carrie laid back on her bed and nibbled on a Red Vine while watching her TV. “Truth or dare, anyone?” Rae cringed a little. 

“Preferably not,” she said, laying out her own blanket. 

“Oh, don’t be such a stick in the mud! Do you even know how to sleepover?”

“Fine,” she answered with a roll of her eyes and held her hands up in surrender. Carrie moved so that she was laying on her stomach, closer to the other two.

“You start,” Chrissy insisted, nodding towards Rae. “Truth or dare.”

“Truth.”

“Boo,” her friend moaned. “Alright, fine. Have you and Curly _done it_?”

Just like Chrissy to ask a question like this off the bat. She hesitated for a second, and she saw Carrie’s expression change out of the corner of her eye. 

“Well, uh...not yet.” The other girl’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Really?” 

“We had a chance but I didn’t really want to.”

“Huh. I figured out of all of us it’d be you first.”

“ _Me_? What about _you_?”

“Well, Ronny’s been gettin’ pretty handsy lately for sure, but he knows if he tries anything before I’m ready, his balls will have a date with my stiletto- wait, what’s that supposed to mean?”

“She means you’re so damn boy crazy that we thought you’d definitely-,” Carrie tried butting in. When she caught the smirk on Rae’s face, Chrissy let out a frustrated groan that cut Carrie off.

“Seriously, you two?!” Chrissy threw her pillow, smacking Carrie square in the face. The impact knocked the licorice sticking out of her mouth clear across the room. There was a dead silence between the three of them before Rae burst into a fit of giggles. The other two joined in.

“The fuckin’ Red Vine-,” she laughed, trying to get her words out. Her stomach hurt, and she had to wipe a tear from the corner of one eye. “Funniest thing I ever seen.”

“Ya’ll are stupid,” Chrissy mumbled as she flopped down onto her makeshift bed, unable to peel the smile off her face. “I’m goin’ to bed.”

“Hey!” Carrie shouted, retrieving the candy and throwing it in the trash can under her desk. “This was your game!”

“Just turn out the light!” She scoffed and flipped the switch.


	18. Stalker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sorry for this.

The next afternoon, Rae and Carrie decided to head to the Tastee Freeze to get some lunch after Chrissy went home, and then walk back to the Curtis house together. Apparently, having an escort home was a stipulation to having the sleepover. Dally had conveniently forgotten to mention that to her, but she wasn’t surprised, nor did she really care. She liked Carrie’s company. 

“Stop touching it or it’ll get infected!” Carrie’s voice filtered through Rae’s head and she felt a light smack on her arm. She’d been absent-mindedly been twisting her new earrings. “Your hands are dirty from that greasy-ass burger.”

“Yes, mother,” she mumbled and shoved her hands into the pockets of her new jacket. 

“Whad’ya suppose will happen now?” her friend asked as they trekked across town. “You can’t keep livin’ at Ponyboy’s forever.”

“I know,” she admitted. “I don’t know what’s gonna happen. I overheard Darry talkin’ ‘bout tryin’ to get Two-Bit’s mom to foster me, but…” She sighed. “Then we’d have to tell the cops, prob’ly talk to a judge, and… I dunno, maybe it is a good idea but I just wish things would just go back to normal.” Carrie looked down at the ground, somber. A familiar engine revved next to them and a car quickly drove off.

“Shit,” Rae whispered, eyeing the back of the car. Her friend turned to look, as well.

“Was that someone you know?” Rae frowned and quickly ushered Carrie back to the Curtis house. 

“Yeah. Get inside. One of the boys will take you home.” They hurried up the front steps and she held the door open for her friend as she peered back down the street. He was gone, for now, at least. Darry was sitting in his father’s armchair, beer in hand, watching replays of some football game on the television. She tossed her backpack on the couch. “Darry, could ya drive Carrie home?” He looked up at the urgency in her voice. 

“What’s up?”

“I think my dad just followed us here. I don’t want her to walk home by herself.”

“Yeah, sure,” he agreed. “Just-just stay inside, Rae.” She nodded. “Soda and Pony are here, so ya’ll should be okay.” Darry set his beer down and escorted Carrie to his truck.

Later that night, after dinner, chocolate cake, and a little TV, the boys had gone to bed early since they had work and school early in the morning. Dally never came back. He’d probably picked up some broad at the rodeo that evening and was crashing in his room at Buck’s. Rae laid on the couch in the dark front room, dozing off to the sound of some late-night talk show. 

In her twilight state, she thought she heard the door creak open, but she didn’t attempt to get up, figuring it was just Steve coming in from another late-night fight with his father. She turned over to face the back on the couch, figuring he’d take the bed since she was on the couch.

“Turn the TV off on your way through, would ya?” she mumbled, closing her eyes to go to sleep for the night. 

Instead, she felt a painful tug on her hair. 

“Ow-what the fu-” Rae sat up, quickly, turning to face Steve, but was instead met with the barrel of a shotgun, her father, barely illuminated by the light of the TV, at the trigger. “Shi-”

“Quiet, ya damn runt.” Her mouth snapped shut. She held up her hands in surrender. “You ain’t goin’ to the cops, ya hear? I’ll fuckin’ kill ya before I let that happen.”

“Maybe if you weren’t a disgusting piece of shit-” He shoved the barrel closer to her face. Thick realization filtered into her mind. She was going to die tonight. An eerie calm washed over her body as the cold metal of the gun tapped her cheek.

“You ain’t goin’ to the cops,” he repeated. The door opened again. She tilted her head to see Steve coming in, downing the last of a bottle of beer. He froze as looked from his friend to her father.

“Oh, holy shit!” He dropped the bottle. It didn’t break, but it still crashed loudly against the floor. Her father, too, seemed momentarily confused. Rae took the distraction to her advantage. She grabbed the barrel of the gun, moved it past her head, and shoved back. He skidded backwards a foot, and she tried to wrestle his firearm away from him. He tore it out of her hands and struck her against the cheek with it. The pain dazed her momentarily, but she took hold of the metal again. Steve seemed to overcome his shock and punched the older man in the mouth, a vicious look on his face. Her father released the gun into her grasp, and quickly, she turned it on him, placing her finger on the trigger. Once he’d regained his balance, he held his hands up. 

"What’s goin’ on out here? I heard a..." Soda's voice came from the hallway. She heard the lightswitch click on and squinted as the bulbs flared to life. "What the hell?" Once she was used to the light again, Rae took a closer look at her father’s face. She could barely see the black of his pupils. He was blitzed out of his mind. Heroin. “Darry!”

"What's goin’-," the older Curtis brother yelled down the hall. He walked in, pulling a white t-shirt over his head. He stared, open-mouthed, at the scene before him. Once the surprise wore off, he took the shotgun out of Rae’s hands and aggressively pointed it towards the older man. "Get the fuck out of my house.” 

Her father didn’t hesitate for a second and bolted out the front door without another word. Steve slumped into the armchair, blowing out a long, relieved breath. Rae looked down at her hands, shaking violently from the encounter.

"Go call Buck's. Tell Dally to get down here," Darry ordered. Soda nodded and went towards the kitchen. 

"What's all that noise?" Ponyboy called from his room.

"Nothin’! Get back to sleep!" his older brother shouted back. He sat down on the couch and faced her. “Did he do anythin’?”

“He-he was gonna kill me,” she said, voice wavering. The adrenaline coursing through her body was at its end. “He c-came here to…”

“Okay, okay. Dal will be here soon, yeah?” He took her shaking hands in his, and put them in her lap. She nodded and took a deep breath. “Jesus kid, you’re white as a sheet.” When Soda came back into the room, he held a mug of hot chocolate towards her. She slipped her hands from Darry’s grasp and took it. He went and sat on the arm of the chair Steve was in. They all sat in silence until they heard a car door slam outside.

Dallas came rushing through the front door, out of breath and eyes blazing. He took in the sight of his sister and the abandoned gun on the coffee table. Darry got up so her brother could take his place and shooed the other two off to bed, instructing Steve to take the spare bedroom for the night. Dally put his hands on her shoulders and examined her face.

“You alright? Did he hurt you?” She took a deep, steadying breath and nodded.

“I-I think I’m okay. Just got me good with the gun.” He gently ran his thumb over the red welt on her cheekbone. She sucked in a breath and he instantly pulled away.

"She can't stay here anymore," he concluded, looking up at Darry. “I think maybe you were right.” The oldest Curtis brother nodded. 

“I’ll talk to Two-Bit tomorrow. Get him to get his mom the paperwork.”

“Yeah,” Dally said, looking back at Rae. “Yeah, maybe it’s for the best.” 

She got the feeling that he was trying to convince himself more than her. 

Before turning in for the night, Darry went to the front door and locked the bolt with a _click_.


	19. Hostile

In the morning, a knock at the front door snapped Rae out of her dreamless sleep. She sat up, her neck sore. Dally was sitting on the couch, asleep, his lap where her head had been. There was another knock. She got off the couch and walked over to the door, massaging her neck as she moved. She unlocked the door and opened it. The sunlight hit her like a truck and she held a hand up to block it. Two-Bit and Johnny were standing there, the former’s arm raised and poised to knock again. 

"Why was the door locked?” Two-Bit asked, lowering his hand. 

"What happened to you?" Johnny asked, moving her hand out of the way so he could get a good look at her cheek. The other boy leaned in to examine her closer.

“You’re right, Johnnycake. What the hell is that from?” Rae held her hand up to silence them.

"Please," Rae pleaded, wanting them to drop it. "Not right now." Two-Bit nodded, but they both looked unsatisfied with her response. She moved out of the way so the two boys could come inside. 

“Hey, Dal,” Johnny greeted her brother. She turned to see him bleary-eyed, but awake. 

“Yeah, hey, Johnny.” The small boy plopped himself into the couch, making Dally’s cushion bounce. He playfully shoved Johnny’s shoulder, who huffed a small laugh. “How’s your face?”

“It’s gettin’ better. Still kinda sore, though.” Dally look Johnny’s chin in his hand and roughly tugged his head around, inspecting his wound closer. “Ow, Dal, sto-”

“Quit your cryin’, I’m just havin’ a look.” Satisfied that his friend’s cheek was healing, he let go. “And you ain’t got any idea who did it?”

"Well, I'm gonna go change," Rae announced, quickly. She lifted her backpack to her shoulder and headed for the bathroom, leaving the boys to finish their conversation. When she emerged a few minutes later, Ponyboy was already sitting at the dining room table, gulping down a glass of milk. Pony did a double-take when he saw her.

"What happened to your face?" he asked.

"Later," she said. "I'll tell ya’ll later." He shrugged and went to put his glass in the kitchen. Darry hurried out of the kitchen, his work belt slung over his shoulder, nearly running his little brother over. 

“Yeah- I’ll get right on it,” Two-Bit said, hot on his heels. Darry nodded and yelled for Soda and Steve. After they’d left, Dally came back in from the hallway wearing a fresh t-shirt- probably one of Darry’s.

“So, where am I goin’ tonight?”

"I ain’t sure yet. Just come to Buck's place after school. Nowhere else.” She nodded as he shoved her jacket in her arms. "Get goin’." Rae took the jacket and slipped it on. Dallas looked at Two-Bit, who nodded, as well, and then they headed out for school.

"So?" Ponyboy asked. She sighed. Two-Bit already knew- may as well tell the other two.

"My father followed me and Carrie home yesterday," she started. She watched out of the corner of her eye as Pony and Johnny exchanged a look. "He overheard us talkin’ about...about maybe going to the police..." 

“Whoa- wait a second-,” Pony started

“The cops? But they could-” Johnny said at the same time. 

“Look, it ain’t my idea.” She looked at Two-Bit with hopeful eyes. “We were thinkin’ maybe Two-Bit’s mom could take me in. Y’know, like a foster home?”

“I don’t like it,” Ponyboy told them. “It could all go real bad, real fast.”

“If Dally and Darry think it’s a good idea...it could work, right?” To be honest, Rae had been thinking the same thing. But, she trusted her brother. He only wanted what was best, right? Her younger friend made a noncommittal noise, lost in thought. Two-Bit threw his arm around her shoulders.

“Don’t you worry, kid. We’ll figure it out.” She gave him a small smile and nodded.

“Anyway,” Rae continued. “H-he broke into the house last night with a gun. Said he was gonna kill me.” 

“Jesus,” Johnny said, quietly.

“Thank God Steve came in when he did. If he hadn’t, my brains would prob’ly still be coverin’ the wall. That’s why the door was locked this mornin’.” They were all quiet. Two-Bit opened his mouth to say something, but closed it just as quickly. He slid his arm off her shoulders and stuffed his hands in the back pockets of his jeans.

Carrie met them in the parking lot. They said their goodbyes to the boys and headed for homeroom. Her friend looked at her, a worrisome expression on her face, eyes on the forming bruise on her cheek.

“Now what?” Rae pulled Carrie off to the side of the building. She relayed the story again. By the time she was done, her friend was seething with anger.

“I sure wish your brother would teach him a lesson,” Carrie bit out as they headed for the front doors again.

"Got your makeup with you?" Rae asked.

"Yeah, sure. Why?" Carrie answered, holding the door open.

"If I don’t start coverin’ this shit up, the school’s gonna come askin’," Rae replied. Her friend nodded. 

"Let's go to the bathroom. I’ll get ya fixed up." Both girls entered the bathroom and Carrie got right to work covering up the bruise. It was still tender and Rae wanted to jerk her face right out of Carrie’s hand. Her friend clicked her tongue. “ _Tsk._ Stay still.”

The bathroom door hinges squealed as it swung inward. Rae looked up while her friend continued on, ignoring their visitor. Cherry walked in, but stopped short when she saw what was going on. The Soc’s gaze went straight to the still partially uncovered bruise blossoming on Rae’s cheek. She sucked in a silent gasp.

“R-Rae, are you al-”

“Get out,” Rae ordered, rolling her eyes. Carrie paused mid-swipe and looked over her shoulder at the red-head.

“But-” It felt like annoyance for this girl oozed out of every pore of her body. “I could-”

“Could what, Cherry?”

“I could he-”

“Help? I already have help, as you can see.”

“But-”

“Just go. Forget what you saw.” Cherry blinked, eyes wide with surprise, but with a slight nod, she stepped backwards and let the door close with her on the other side. Rae sighed through her nose and let Carrie continue on. A few minutes later, her friend snapped her makeup compact closed and inspected her work.

“Thank god we wear the same color. All done.”

"Thanks." 

“Yeah, no problem! What-uh-what should we do about that girl?”

“She’s a real quiet type, I think. She ain’t gonna squeal. Anyway, would ya do me another favor?" Rae asked, shouldering her backpack again. 

"Sure, what’s up?" Carrie asked. They both grabbed their books and started heading to their classroom.

"I gotta head to Buck’s after school to meet Dally," Rae started. “Could ya walk with me? Pony ain’t allowed to go down that way and I don’t wanna bother Two-Bit with it since it ain’t on his way home.”

“Oh, that’s easy enough,” Carrie said with a smile. “Mom wanted me to take somethin’ over to him, anyway. Two birds, one stone.” Rae smiled and they slipped into homeroom.

The day went along fairly quickly. Rae decided she wasn’t up to sneaking out for lunch and sat with Carrie, Chrissy, and the other girls in the cafeteria. At one point she thought she caught that girl, Cherry, watching her from the other side of the room, but the Soc quickly looked away.

When the red-head got up to use the restroom, Rae excused herself as well and followed. Cherry looked apprehensive when she walked through the door. She shoved her hands in the pockets on her jeans and leaned against one of the porcelain sinks. Cherry watched her through the mirror while applying more pink lipgloss. 

“It seems we’re startin’ a new tradition,” the Soc said, screwing the cap back on the bottle. 

“I could talk to ya in front of your friends if you’d rather,” Rae drawled with a shrug. Cherry tilted her head to the side and leaned against her sink as well.

“Point taken,” she said with a slight nod. 

“About what you saw this morning-”

“I don’t know what I saw.”

“You’re right, ya don’t. So don’t go runnin’ your mouth to anyone, ya hear? I got enough problems of my own. I ain’t got time to be worried about who Miss Goody-Two-Shoes is blabbin’ to.”

“If it’s so bad, why not talk to the police?” Cherry crossed her arms over her chest, looking slightly put-off by the nickname. 

“You kiddin’? They don’t treat us like they treat you, Miss Priss.” Rae leaned in close to the red-head. “So just don’t say anything, alright?”

“Oh yeah, real fine,” Cherry grumbled her assent. She put her bottle of gloss back in her makeup bag and went for the door. Before she left, though, she turned back around. “A little less hostility would go a long way, you know. I’m only tryin’ to be nice.” The two girls stared each other down for a few seconds before Rae broke eye contact first. She looked away, to the empty toilet stalls. Cherry shrugged. “Just a thought.” And then, she was gone.

Once the last bell rang, Rae met Carrie on the front steps of the school and headed for the bar. On the way, they took a quick detour at the Merrill household to pick up a casserole Carrie’s mom had made for her son. She gave them each a cookie for their walk, as well.

Once they’d arrived, Rae knocked on the front door. After a few muffled footsteps, the door creaked open.

"Yeah?" asked Buck’s deep voice, heavy with sleep.

"Dally's expectin’ me," she said, timidly.

"Right," he answered, moving out of the way to let her him. "He said you were comin’. Rae, right?" She nodded. He looked behind her to see his sister. His somber face brightened up a little. "Carrie."

"Hey, bro,” she said with a smile and held up the covered dish. “Mom made you a casserole.”


	20. Punch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot of research on fist fighting went into this chapter. I really love it tbh :)

As Buck moved aside to let the girls inside, Rae heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Her brother appeared from around the corner wearing a flannel shirt and a Stetson. Dally climbed onto one of the stools and reached across the bar to help himself to a cup and a fountain drink. Buck shook his head at his friend, but led his own sister into the kitchen to put the casserole dish away.

"Hey, Dal," Rae greeted him, lifting herself onto the stool next to him. He passed her the cup and she took a good swig of it.

“School okay?” he asked her after he’d finished his soda. 

"Yeah, I guess," she answered, shrugging her backpack off her shoulders. She tossed it onto the table behind them. “I got this girl on my back, though. Some Soc.”

“She givin’ you trouble? Do I need to, ya know, have a talk with her?”

“No, no-nothin’ like that.” She sighed. “I dunno. She’s like, uh, bein’ nice to me? But I can’t figure out why.” Rae snorted. “She looks pretty stuck up, if you ask me, all red hair and perfect skin.” She tucked her hair behind her ear. He turned to say something to her, but paused, whatever he was about to say lost on his tongue. 

“Rae Lee Winston,” Dally reprimanded her, as he took her chin in his hands and forcefully turning her head to the side. “What the hell is that?”

Ah, he’d finally noticed the earrings.

“Well-,”

“Are you out of your damn mind? Who did this?”

“Chrissy did,” Carrie answered for her, walking back into the room. He released his sister’s chin and focused on her friend. “When they slept over. It’s alright, she’s done it before. Just think of it as a late birthday present.” She held out her hand to Dally, whose eyebrows lifted so high, Rae was sure they’d leave his head entirely. “I’m Carrie Merrill. A pleasure to meet the famous Dallas Winston.”

He stared at her hand in surprise for a good, few, silent seconds, but eventually looked past her to Buck, who was also coming out of the kitchen. 

“D’ya know what your sister has gotten into?” 

“Kid does what she wants.” Buck shrugged. “Be thankful she didn’t come back with purple hair, knowin’ that Chrissy girl.” Dally looked back at Rae’s ears and held up his hands in defeat.

“Fine, whatever,” he relented. “Just make sure it don’t get infected.”

“I know,” she assured him. "Anyway, where am I goin’ tonight?" 

“Ain’t had a chance to think about it yet. Maybe you could stay here?” Her brother looked towards Buck, who cringed a little at the thought.

“Ya really want a kid to be sleepin’ in a noisy bar?”

"Well,” Carried piped up. “Mom and Dad are leavin’ tonight to go out of town for a few days. She could stay at my house through the weekend.” Rae turned to her friend.

“Are you sure?” she asked, an uneasy feeling gripping her chest. “I don’t want my dad to come after you too. He’s already seen ya with me and-”

“Rae,” Carrie interrupted, laying a hand on her shoulder. “We got a deadbolt. We’ll be fine.”

"I guess that’d be alright," Dally said. "No parties. And get me your number in case I need to get ahold of ya’ll." She nodded and went off to get some paper and a pen. Buck headed off upstairs. Dally turned back to his sister and lifted his hand to her face again. He rubbed at the makeup on her cheek with his thumb. She hissed and jerked her head away.

"Quit it," Rae whined and gingerly touched the bruised area. “I had Carrie cover it up so teachers wouldn’t ask about it.”

“Good,” he commended. “Smart.”

Carried came back into the room and handed Dally a torn piece of paper.

"Thanks," he said, taking it and stuffing it into his pocket. “When ya gotta be home, kid?”

“Well, I didn’t tell mom when I’d be back and since they’re leavin’ tonight, I guess whenever?” He took his cowboy hat off and laid it on the bar.

“Good,” he said, unbuttoning his shirt. He slipped it off to reveal his white undershirt. “The real reason I wanted ya to come here was to show ya how to fight. You’ve been gettin’ lucky and that ain’t good enough.” Dally nodded in Carrie’s direction. “You may as well join in too, since you’re here an’ all.” 

“Couldn’t hurt,” Rae conceded and slipped off her stool. She noticed her friend’s eyes dancing excitedly. “Uh- skin or weapon?”

“Both, but skin for now.”

“Go out back,” Buck ordered from upstairs. “Bar’ll be openin’ soon.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dally called and stood up. He led them out the back door and into the fenced in backyard. Buck opened this area to customers during the spring and summer, but with the weather turning cold, everyone opted to stay inside. 

“Now,” Dally said, sitting himself on the top of a picnic table. “Making a fist is the first thing ya’ll should learn. If ya don’t punch right, you could break your fingers.” He clenched his fist as an example. “You two try it.” 

“We ain’t little kids, Dally,” Rae argued. He gave her a pointed look and she rolled her eyes, but pulled her hand into a fist, anyway. Carrie mirrored them.

“You’d be surprised how many people tuck their thumb into their palm. Anyway, when ya punch someone, don’t go for the head. Head shots are pure luck and very painful for the person throwin’ the punch. You could also kill ‘em and we ain’t got time for that shit. Plus, ya’ll are short as hell, ya prob’ly can’t even reach a guy’s head if he’s standin’ up. Body shots are always the best.” He stood up and demonstrated. “Right hook.” He went again with his other fist. “Left hook. Whichever side is your strongest.” He had them go through the motions a few times without force. “If ya do have to go for the head, aim for the throat.” He pointed to his jugular. “Best case scenario, you’ll hit gold. If they see it comin’, chances are, they’ll duck and you’ll still get ‘em in the chin or nose.”

“And what happens when they block your hand?” Dally shrugged.

“Kick ‘em in the balls.”

A while later, Rae had discovered that her right hand was dominant, while Carrie’s left was more powerful. 

“If you’re on the receivin’ end of a punch, ya need to block it, fast. It’s always better to block it with your arm.” He held his arms up in a boxing stance. “Gimme a shot,” he ordered his sister. 

She balled her fist and gave him a half-assed punch. He slowly pushed her hand away from his head with his arm, showing them the movement involved. 

“Obviously, if you’re in a real fight it’d go much faster.” He turned to Carrie, moving back into position. “Now, you.” 

Unfortunately for Dally, Rae’s friend didn’t hold back. Whether he wasn’t expecting a full-strength shot to the head or she was too fast for him, she couldn’t tell, but Carrie’s fist completely bypassed her brother’s arms and she socked him right in the nose.

Rae’s mouth dropped open when she realized what had happened. He stood still, dazed for a second, and his nose started dripping blood. It was like a scene from a movie. Oh dear god, he was going to give her friend an earful half an hour after they’d first met.

“Oh my god!” Carrie gasped. “Oh my god, I am so sorry, I-” But instead of being mad, Dally laughed. Rae relaxed and rolled her eyes.

“Jesus, kid,” he huffed, wiping the blood from his face. “You pack a mean punch for someone so small. You’d do fine in a rumble.” The back door opened and Buck appeared.

“Ya’ll want some of this casserole before the bar opens?” 

“Yeah, sure,” Dally said, facing his friend. “It’s quitin’ time, anyway.” Buck lifted an eyebrow at Dally’s nose.

“You alright, man?”

“This ain’t nothin’,” he responded. “You better watch out for your kid sister, though. She could prob’ly punch your lights out.”


	21. Love

Half an hour later, Rae and Carrie were gathering their things to head out for the night. Dally put his hat and shirt in his room upstairs and came back down the stairs shrugging into his leather jacket.

"I'm gonna walk ya’ll home," he announced as they were going out the door. He let the girls go out first and then closed to door behind him. As they were walking, he pulled Rae back to have as private a conversation as possible. “Look- ya know I ain’t tryin’ to be hard on ya or anythin’ right?”

"Yeah you are," she answered and watched as he lit up a cigarette. “But I get why you’re doin’ it.”

“I just don’t want ya to-to be mad at me alright? I’m just doin’ what’s best, ya know?”

“I ain’t mad at ya, Dal,” Rae started. She gripped the straps of her backpack tightly. “I thought- I thought, maybe at first I would hate ya for lettin’ this happen. I thought maybe I would blame ya for not bein’ there. I was so...mad.” He watched her for a few seconds, blowing smoke out of his nose. “But I think that- No, I know that it ain’t your fault. It’s not my fault, either.”

“You’re finally startin’ to make some sense, again, kid.” One side of his mouth lifted upward as he took another drag.

“Dally,” she began again. His small smile disappeared at the seriousness in her voice. “I know that you’ve protected me for all these years. I know and that ya can’t do it all my life, so I better start usin’ my brain. I, uh, I just- Thank you. I know it ain’t been easy.” He flicked his finished cigarette away and gave her a slight shrug.

“What else are big brothers good for?” She looked up at him to find a rare, gentle smile overtaking his face. “And what the hell ya talkin’ about? I don’t care if I’m eighty. You need me to rough someone up for ya, I’ll be there in five minutes.” 

“I guess you’d better be livin’ next door to me, then,” Rae laughed. He chuckled and put his hand on the small of her back. She thought it was meant as an endearing motion until he pushed her forward a few steps, closer to Carrie.

“Go on, keep your friend company.” 

"What was that all about?" Carrie asked, quietly, as Rae caught up to her.

"Nothin’," Rae responded, with a shrug. "Just a little heart-to-heart, I guess."

“Oh, Rae?” Dally’s voice called from somewhere behind them. She turned, but continued walking backwards. 

“Yeah?”

“Would it kill ya to wear the same clothes tomorow? I can grab ya some from Darry’s later, but-” He caught up with the girls and she turned back around.

“Nah, don’t worry. I packed a change, figurin’ I wouldn’t be back there tonight. I’ll call up Ponyboy and have him bring the rest to school.”

“Good job,” he praised and tousled her hair. She jerked her head away from his hand and moved so Carrie was between then.

“Wish ya’d stop doin’ that,” she complained, running her fingers through her long hair. “Ruinin’ my hair.”

“Your hair?” he spat with a laugh. “Ya ain’t turnin’ into a girl on me, are ya?” She heard Carrie giggle, quietly.

“Fuck no.”

“God, ya sure got a dirty mouth.”

“Only learned from the best, didn’t I?” He lifted his eyebrows and gave her a feline smile. 

Once they’d arrived at Carrie’s house, they went around to the side door. Carrie pulled out a key and unlocked it, then headed inside, leaving Dally and Rae to say their goodbyes. 

"Alright, Buck's tomorrow after school," her brother commanded before leaving. “Bring your knife.” Rae nodded her agreement. “And stay inside- no goin’ out. Make sure to bolt the-”

“Dally,” she interrupted him. “I will.” He blew out a breath and nodded.

"Fine. See ya tomorrow." He turned to leave, but before he made it off the first step he paused. 

"What's-" Before she knew what was happening, he’d turned back and wrapped his arms around her. Her eyes went wide and she froze. He hadn’t hugged her like this since...since… “D-Dally-?” 

“Just shut up, already,” he said, his voice muffled by her hair. She felt him inhale, deeply. “I just want you to know that you ain’t alone, okay?” After the shock, she smiled and hugged him back, breathing in the scent of his cigarettes. “I-I know that it’s been hard but, I promise I’ll make it better.” He gripped his sister tightly for a while, but finally released her. When she looked up at him, Rae noticed his eyes were rimmed with red. 

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, ‘course I am," he said and cleared his throat. "I need to get goin’. Do your homework and, uh, ya know, don’t go to bed too late." He turned to leave again.

"I love you, Dally," she whispered as he made his way down the steps. She wasn’t sure if he heard until he stopped and turned his head off to the side, looking towards the Merrill’s flower garden.

"You too, kid." He took off again and Rae watched until he was out of sight. 

She went inside and found her friend waiting for her at the small table sitting in the kitchen.

“He ain’t as tough as he pretends to be,” Carrie noted, as she took a book out of her backpack and set it down on top of the bright tablecloth. Rae didn’t argue as she started unpacking her books as well. She didn’t disagree. Lately it felt like everything in her life had just been flipped upside down completely. After tossing everything she’d needed for her homework onto the table, she dropped into a chair. Her friend went to the fridge. “D’ya want a drink?”

“Sure, got anythin’ good?” Carrie swung the door open and Rae felt a gust of cold air wash over her. 

“Hmm,” she hummed looking over the shelves. “Milk, 7-Up, I guess you could even have a beer if you wanted? Oh- looks like we got a couple bottles of cream soda, too.”

“Cream soda,” Rae responded as she flipped open a notebook. “Haven’t had one of those in a long time.” Carrie grabbed the bottle and a can of 7-Up for herself. She closed the fridge, set the drinks on the table and sat down to start her homework.

Once their homework was done, the two girls sat, shoulder-to-shoulder, on the floor at the foot of Carrie’s bed, watching The Twilight Zone in the dark. Rae had her hair in a low ponytail, pulled over her shoulder and she was chewing on a lollipop stick. Carrie was popping a stick of gum between her teeth.

“I love it when mom and dad ain’t here,” she laughed. “They hate it when I watch this. Think it’s ‘too scary for a young girl’s mind.’”

“It ain’t even that scary,” Rae remarked, taking the stick out of her mouth and tossing it into the small trash can by the desk. “Just a little weird sometimes.” She laid her head back on the quilt behind her and stared up at the white ceiling. “Carrie?”

“Yeah?” 

“I’m…” She sighed and closed her eyes. “I dunno.” He friend stopped chewing her gum and turned to her.

“What’s wrong?” 

“I think-I think I’m scared.”

“Rae, he ain’t gonna get in here,” Carrie tried to reassure her, pulling her blonde hair over her shoulder. “Don’t you worry, my dad installed real good bolts-”

“No-I aint-I mean, I am but-” Rae lifted her head again and criss-crossed her legs. Her stomach was twisting in knots. “I don’t know what’s gonna happen and I...I got a bad feeling about it. Nothin’ ever goes right for Greasers. Why should it start now?” She picked at the carpet between her legs. Carrie gripped her arm, gently, her face softening.

“Ya can’t think like that,” she instructed. “It’ll just stress ya out, and ya don’t need more stress than ya already got.”

“I-I know, but it’s so hard to think of anything else when it’s quiet and-and when I’m alone.” Carrie’s hand dropped away from her arm but she grabbed at Rae’s hands and squeezed, tightly. 

“Well, ya ain’t alone. You can always talk to me. Even if it’s three in the mornin’ and my dad yells at me for gettin’ a phone call in the middle of the night.” She smiled wide, white teeth almost glowing in the light of the TV. “I won’t mind.” Rae smiled as well, her eyes starting to burn. She grasped her friends hands as well, and then turned back to focus on the show again.


	22. Party

In the morning, Rae woke up with a start and found Carrie was standing over her, still in her pajamas. 

"What?" she groaned, moving to pull the blanket over her head to block out the sunlight. Her brain wasn’t fully functioning yet. “Is the house on fire or somethin’?”

"We gotta go to school," Carrie said, a slight giggle in her voice as she stripped the blanket off. Rae shivered against the sudden cold. How that girl could possibly be so awake right now, she didn’t know. They’d done exactly as Dally had told them not to do and stayed up until two watching TV and eating candy. 

"Do I have time for a shower?" Rae asked her friend, trying to stifle a yawn. Carrie nodded. 

“Yeah, as long as it’s a quick one. Towels are in the closet across from the bathroom.” Rae pushed herself off of the floor and muffled a groan, back a little stiff. 

“Alright,” she said, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She stood up, grabbed the spare change of clothes out of her bag, and ventured off to the restroom.

When she emerged, she found Carrie in the kitchen, dressed for school in a skirt and blouse, hair pulled back. She was rummaging around in the pantry. 

“You ever had these, uh, Pop-Tarts?” her friend asked, pulling a brightly colored box off the shelf and holding it out. 

“Don’t think so,” Rae remarked, taking the box and looking at it closely. 

“Mom bought ‘em. I guess they’re some new kinda breakfast food.” 

“Looks like we’re supposed to toast them. You got a toaster?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Carrie said and closed the pantry door. She went to the counter and took a cover off the metal toaster. Rae opened the box and tore open two foil packets. She handed the pastries to her friend, who tossed them in the toaster. 

Once they were ready, the girls grabbed their bags and headed for school. When they got there, they found Two-Bit, Ponyboy, and Johnny hanging outside the school. A tall, lanky Greaser was standing with them, partaking in one of Two-Bit’s jokes. Carrie's face lit up when she saw him, but when she noticed Rae watching, pink spread across her cheeks. 

“Who’s that?” Rae asked her friend, her mouth spread into a sly smile.

"He’s new.” They approached the steps. He smiled a charming smile and held out his hand.

“You must be Rae,” he verified. She grasped his hand and shook it. “Your friends were tellin’ me all about you. Steven, nice to meet you.”

"Likewise," she said. The shrill outside bell rang a few seconds later and they all hurried inside to their classes. As usual, the day droned on for Rae.

The Socs must have felt the same way because when she went to the restroom, she shook her hair and dry spitballs rained to the floor. She gave an exasperated sigh and brushed her fingers through her strands to release any stray bits of paper. On her way out, she passed Cherry heading in. They paused for a moment and the redhead smiled softly, but Rae was the first to break eye contact and she walked towards the doors to meet the boys for lunch.

After school, the girls met Buck at the door again. He told them that Dally wasn’t there yet, and asked if they’d give him a hand in wiping off the tables in preparation for opening the bar that night. 

When Dally finally showed up, he was rearing to get started. He slipped his sister’s switchblade out of her back pocket while she was bent over, wiping down a table with a wet rag.

"Ready?" he asked them, pressing the button on the handle so the blade whipped out. “We ain’t gonna practice so much as I do wanna get stuck, but I’ll show ya how to hold it and shit.”

Rae and Carrie dropped their towels off behind the bar and followed him to the backyard again.

“I don’t think I’ve ever held a blade like this before,” Carrie commented, taking a good look at the knife. “The handle is beautiful.” 

Rae watched as her brother showed it off, the blue handle sparkling in the sunlight. 

“Alright, so,” Dally started. “First thing’s first. Always keep your knife clean and sharp. Ya ain’t gonna get a clean cut with a dull and rusted blade. The way ya hold it is also real important.” He held it up, normally, gripping the handle so it stuck out, along the line of his thumb. “This is normal, but it really just depends on what feels natural to ya.” He flipped it so that the blade stuck out the back of his hand. “Knowin’ you, this’ll what you’ll like best.” 

Rae took the switchblade from him. She tried it the first way, but it didn’t feel right. She tried the second grip and sure enough, it felt better in her hand. He sure did know her well. She passed it off to her friend who, on the other hand, held it opposite.

For the next while, he showed them ways to defend themselves with the knife, but also basic ways to attack. 

“And for the love of God, don’t throw the damn thing,” he finished. He sheathed the knife and tossed it back to Rae. She slipped it back into her pocket. As they headed inside, he threw his arm across her shoulders. “Think ya got it?”

“Won’t know ‘til I’ll have to use it, will I?”

“Hopefully that day never comes.” Rae nodded in agreement. “Anyway, ya’ll wanna get dinner at the Tastee Freeze? I’m payin’.”

“That sounds great!” Carrie exclaimed as she opened the door that led back inside. 

“Have a good day at the rodeo, then?”

“A little, I guess,” Dally said as he lifted the keys to Buck’s car and led the girls out of the bar. 

The rest of the week passed. Dally had plans Friday night with Sylvia, so Rae just ended up going straight home with Carrie. Their week-long sleepover had been great, something they both really needed, but Rae’s stomach twisted in nervous knots when she thought about where she’d be going next. 

“You know what ya need?” her friend asked her when they’d finished their quick dinner of frozen TV dinners.

"What?" Rae asked, setting down her empty glass. 

“A party,” Carrie said, a sly smile on her face.

“Party? What party?”

“Steven invited me. His older brother is havin’ it,” she informed Rae. “Maybe Two-Bit will show? He’s always like a good party.” Rae hesitated.

“I dunno, Car,” she started. “Dally said to stay in-”

“Oh please. What Dally doesn’t know ain’t gonna hurt him. Besides, you really think your old man’s gonna show up at a party with a ton of people ready to blow your brains out?”

“I really wouldn’t put it past him,” she replied, but offered her friend a one-shoulder shrug. “Alright. What could it hurt?”

Carrie jumped from her chair, a toothy grin on her face. She pulled Rae back to her room and starting sifting through her makeup drawer. 

“Oh, no-no-no, kid. I said I’d go- but you ain’t dollin’ me up or anything.” 

“Aww,” she pouted. “But there might be some cute guys there!”

“Carrie, I ain’t gonna two-time Curly.”

“Have ya’ll even talked to each other since ya told him about-?” Rae looked down to the floor. Her chest tightened.

“No, I-I thought maybe he just needed some time.” She really did miss him, though. Carrie gave her a small nod and a small smile.

“Well, at least try to have some fun tonight.” Rae nodded and sat on the bed while the other girl got ready to go.

Honestly, the thought of going to a party made her nervous, but she didn’t want to spoil her friend’s fun.

When they got to the house, Steven was standing on the front porch, plastic cup in hand. He did a double-take when he saw them approaching, and his face lit up.

"Hey, guys!" he exclaimed and hurried down the steps to meet them. Carrie smiled, brightly. “Glad you could make it!”

"Thanks for invitin’ us!" she said, with an equal amount of enthusiasm.

"Come on in!" the lanky boy said and led them through the front door. The atmosphere quickly changed from clear and crisp outside to smoky and stuffy inside. Rae was used to it, but she didn't like it very much. As he tried to give them a tour amidst all the bodies standing around and the radio blaring, there was a loud crash coming from underneath them. Steven led them back to the front of the house and down the split-foyer stairs. The three of them pushed through the crowd of teens gathered, some of them chanting.

In the middle, there were two boys having a go at each other. The taller one had the other one in a headlock. 

"Really, Eric?" Steven hollered over the music. His older brother looked over his shoulder.

“Is that your brother?” Carried asked, almost yelling in his ear to be heard over the noise. He nodded and rolled his eyes. The kid Eric had in a lock managed to break free and spin around to punch him in the stomach. Eric doubled over in pain.

"He's gonna get the shit beat outta him," Rae noted, to no one in particular. Carrie must have heard, though, because she nodded.

"I wonder who the other kid is,” she pondered, aloud. “I can’t see his face- but he kinda looks familiar.” Rae tilted her head and furrowed her eyebrows.

"Yeah," she agreed. "I-I think I know that haircut-" Eric recovered from the blow to the stomach and the two wrestled again for a few more seconds. Then, the fight was suddenly over and Eric was thrown to the floor. Curly stood up straight, breathing heavily, and wiped a trickle of blood from his nose. Rae’s mouth nearly dropped open.

“Speak of the damn devil,” Carrie laughed. 

"You’re a damn good fighter, kid," Eric said as Curly reached down and hoisted him up. They shook hands and finally, Curly took a look around at his adoring crowd as a few of them cheered. His wandering eyes paused and widened when they reached her.

"Rae?"

"What in the world are ya doin’, Curly?"


	23. Relief

"You know each other?" Steven asked as her boyfriend made her way over to them.

"Sure do," Rae answered, holding back a sigh of relief at finally seeing his dumb face again. “This is Curly Shepard.”

“Oh, Shepard, huh?” Steven said, recognition filling his voice. “Ain’t been in town long but I’ve already heard the name. Gotta be pretty tough to kick my brother’s ass.”

"Haven’t seen ya in a bit," Rae said before he had a chance to respond, and started pulling at the thin hair ties around her wrist, looking down at her shoes. "Where ya been?" She stopped herself when she caught it and slid her hands into the back pockets on her jeans. 

"Oh-y’know, helpin’ Tim keep the gang in line and-,” Curly started, but paused, looking at the other two. “Could we, uh, talk outside or somethin’?” He reached back and rubbed the back of his neck. A nervous tendency she’d picked up on years before. She nodded.

“We’ll be back,” she said to Carrie, who gave her an encouraging smile and nodded. He led her outside, away from the haze and the music, and they both sat down on the porch steps.

"So...I..." Curly looked up at her face and squinted. He reached to put his hand on her cheek, rubbing his thumb over the healing bruise on the bone. “What’s this?”

“Dad,” Rae responded and looked down at her lap. “He followed me home one day- came back later with a shotgun and a bunch of heroin in his veins wantin’ my brains to decorate the Curtis’s livin’ room wall. It’s been… an eventful week.”

“Shit,” he whispered, eyes full of worry. Just like the last time she’d seen him. She clenched her fists in her lap. “I hope you ain’t stayin’ there anymore.”

“No, I’ve been movin’ around a bit- stayin’ at Carrie’s this weekend.” He nodded and she looked down at her lap. "Are-are you mad at me?" Confusion spread across his features. “That night-” Finally, he seemed to recall the fight they’d had- and her saying no to him.

“Of course not,” he interrupted, quickly. “I was bein’ real- the boys are gettin’ a little unruly. And I thought...maybe you’d want some time...” He grabbed her hands, tightening his fingers around hers. “I didn’t mean…”

“It’s fine,” she said, unable to hold her sigh of relief back any longer. She lowered her voice to a mumble, red spreading across her cheeks. “I just missed ya is all.” Curly lifted a hand from hers and dramatically placing it around his ear. 

“What was that? I’m hard of hearin’, you see and-.” She feigned anger and shoved him. It was hard enough he almost fell off the steps and into the garden.

“I missed ya, you stupid hood.” He laughed, his nervous expression replaced with that stupid cocky smile of his. In that moment, Rae wanted to slap that smug grin of his idiotic fucking face. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers. She smiled and huffed a laugh through her nose. As he pulled away, his eyes travelled to her ear. He tilted his head and moved her hair over her shoulder.

“Pierce your ears?”

“Chrissy did it.” He smiled. “Do ya like it?”

“I think it’s beautiful.” He kissed her again, slowly. 

"Anyway," he began again, after they’d separated. “Angel’s back in rehab.” She nodded, slowly. “I told Tim what happened. He said Dally’d bust his balls if we knew and we didn’t do anythin’ about it. Just thought you’d like to know.”

"Thank you, Curly," she said with a small smile. “I know it wasn’t easy.”

“It ain’t nothin’. You were right, anyways. Let’s just hope this time she’ll stay clean for more than two weeks.” The door behind them opened and Eric appeared holding two plastic cups.

"Looks like you guys could use these," he laughed. “Your conversation is far too serious for this party.” Rae eyed the drinks suspiciously. "It's just beer, kid." He sat down, uninvited, in a porch chair that was sitting near them. "So, this is her? The girl you were talkin’ about?" Curly went rigid and maybe a little bit red, but it was hard to tell outside in the dark. She stifled a giggle at his embarrassment. 

"Yeah, Rae Winston," he replied.

"Winston? You ain’t related to Dallas, are ya?"  
.  
"Well, yeah, that’s my brother." She knocked back a bit of her beer. “How d’you know him?”

"Old buddies," he responded. “Went to grade school together when ya’ll moved here.”

"But- Carrie said you were new here?”

"Oh, just Steven. Mom and Dad were separated for a while. Now they’re back together so Mom moved herself and Steven here with us. Long story." She nodded her understanding. He stood up to head back inside. He swatted her gently on the shoulder. “Hey, tell Dally ‘hey’ for me, yeah?”

“Sure.”

“Thanks, kid.” He stood back up, breathing in the chilly night air and shouldered his way back inside.

“You ready to go back in?”” she asked as she turned back to Curly. He’d gotten over his embarrassment and that crooked smile was back.

“May as well,” he responded and helped her up. He curled his arm around her waist and led her through the crowd of people, looking for her friend. Finally, Rae found Carrie’s blonde curls among the masses as she was tipping back the last dregs of a beer. 

“Rae!” she exclaimed, a bright smile on her face. Rae grinned, amused. 

“Had a few, then?”

“It’s a party, ain’t it?” She set her cup down on the edge of the dining room table, but it tumbled to the ground. Carrie burst out laughing as she squatted down to pick it up, but she lost her balance and dropped to her knees. Rae watched, lifting an eyebrow. 

“Uh, how many?”

“Only three or four, I think.”

“Take any shots?” Carrie giggled again, and he took that as a yes.

“Two-Bit dared me!”

“Oh, yeah, like that makes it any better,” she noted and reached out to lift her friend up by the arm. Curly bent down to grab the other arm. “Come on, up we go. You’ll get trampled if you stay down on the floor.”

“I told him you were here. He went off lookin’ for ya,” Carrie nearly yelled once she was on her own two feet again. The girl looked over Rae’s shoulder at the same time as she felt a tap. 

“There ya’ll are!” Two-Bit’s drunk voice exclaimed. “Finally decide to loosen up a bit?” She turned and saw her rusty-headed friend standing there, beer cup in hand, goofy smile plastered to his face. She gave him a lopsided grin and crossed her arms.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, ya know, kid,” he started, but paused to chug down the rest of his drink. “It’s okay to have some fun once in a while, yeah? Curly, what the hell are ya doin’, man? Take the girl to dance or somethin’.”

“What, are ya, my dad, now?” he said with a shake of his head, but took Rae’s hand and spun her around. In the background, Carrie giggled yet again, and watched as Curly led her out into the crowd of people dancing around the living room floor as the quick beat of _I Want To Hold Your Hand_ started playing on the record player. The Beatles would have to do.

“What about Carrie? She’ll be drunk off her ass soon,” she asked over her shoulder.

“She’s alright. I’ll keep an eye on her,” Two-Bit assured her, and laid his arm loosely across Carrie’s shoulders. 

“You’re the one who got her drunk in the first place!”

“Fine, fine. I promise I won’t dare her to take anymore shots!” He lifted two fingers to his forehead in a mock salute. “Scout’s honor.”

Finally, Rae relented after giving her friend a look and turned back to her boyfriend.

A while later, they both laid on a blanket in the front yard while the party wound down. A second blanket was wrapped around their bodies to ward off the chill. Curly had pulled them out of a hallway closet and they both came outside to avoid the noise. Their empty cups sat beside them, tipped over in the grass. Curly had Rae tucked under his arm, and her head rested on his chest as they stared up at the clear night sky, watching the stars. Every once in a while she’d raise her hand to point out a constellation.

“And you see those four stars in a line right there?” she asked him, drawing her arm down, following the pattern. 

“Yeah,” he said, softly. 

“That’s Cygnus,” she started, and lifted her other arm. “The swan. It branches out like this-” She used her index fingers to show him the lines. “-to make it look like wings. It always looked like a pterodactyl to me, though.” She could feel his chest rise in a quiet laugh.

“I think you’re a swan,” he said, his voice drowsy. Rae sat up on her elbow, looking down at him.

“No way,” she retorted, a smile forming on her face. Her hair spilled over one shoulder and dropped down around his face.

“Yes way,” Curly shot back, raising his hand to tuck a lock of her dark hair behind her ear. “Beautiful.” He lifted his head to kiss her nose. “And graceful.”

“Graceful? Are you h-” Before she could finish, he caught her lips with his, cutting off her question. He kissed her slowly, gently rubbing his thumb over her bruised cheekbone. She leaned down farther to deepen the kiss and inhaled his scent. Cologne and cigarettes mixed in with a little beer. It was more intoxicating to her than the alcohol. She ran the fingers of her free hand through his greasy hair, nails lightly scraping his scalp. A small moan escaped his mouth. 

When their lips parted, they laid on their sides, Rae’s head on his outstretched arm. She stared into his eyes and he pressed his forehead against hers. 

“Would it be so bad if I wanted to marry you one day?” Curly asked, closing his eyes, his sleepy words slightly slurred. She wrapped the blanket tightly around her shoulders. 

“I think I’d like that,” she responded, curling into him. Soon, his breathing evened out. She allowed herself to relax in the warmth of his body and floated into the easy darkness of sleep.

When Rae opened her eyes again, a foggy morning had started to rise. It seemed as though everything had taken on a blue tint, even the air. She sat up from their makeshift bed in the middle of the small front yard, Curly’s limp arm sliding down her waist, and peered around the lawn. They weren’t the only ones who’d passed out outside.

“Mm.” She turned to look back at him. “Is it morning yet?” 

“Yeah,” she said, shifting so she was facing him again. “I should probably grab Carrie and head back to her house before Dally’s sixth sense picks up that I ain’t there.” He nodded.

“Yeah, Tim’ll prob’ly be wonderin’ where I ran off to. Better be in my bed when he wakes up.” He sat up. She leaned in to kiss him, inhaling him once more for good measure, savoring his smell.

“Okay,” she said. “I’ll see you later.” Then, she stood and made her way inside to find her friend.


	24. Rumble

Once the weekend was up and Carrie’s parents returned from their trip, Rae took her duffle of clothes and headed back to Two-Bit’s couch. He told his mom that she’d be staying for an extended amount of time. Mrs. Mathews decided it was high-time to clean out the spare bedroom so she could use it. Together, the three of them started cleaning out the small, spare room where they stored the things left behind when Mr. Mathews left, as well as some holiday decorations.

Dally was back to staying at Buck’s, and it made her feel uneasy again- not seeing him every day, but Rae told herself she was being stupid. Of course he couldn’t just come sleep at Two-Bit’s, too. 

After a school day mid-week, she and Carrie said their goodbyes and her friend left with Steven. Two-Bit drove his car home with the promise of meeting her and Ponyboy at the Curtis’s for dinner since his mom wasn’t going to be home until late that night.

A while later, she and her friends were lounging on the couch, catching up on some Mickey when Soda and Darry walked through the door. 

“That’s great, little buddy,” the older brother remarked as he set down his work belt onto the coffee table. 

“Yeah, I’m really happy with-,” Soda started, but focused his attention on the kids sitting on the couch. “Well, well. Think we picked up a couple of bums, Darry.” He bent over and immediately went for Rae. She squealed and tried to jump out of his grasp, but he started tickling her sides, grinning that award-winning smile of his that made anyone melt. When she tried to jump over Two-Bit, he grabbed her arms and held her there until she was gasping for breath. 

The laughter didn’t last for long, though- a tightness in her throat threatened to choke her and a sense of panic twisted her stomach as her arms were clamped to her side and she wasn’t able to move- wasn’t able to get away- and suddenly, she was begging them to stop but they didn’t seem to understand and-

Soda finally retreated, but he was keeled over, hands over his stomach, a pained expression on his red, strained face. Everyone had frozen, all the sound gone from the room. Rae’s eyes widened when she realized in her moment of panic, she must have kicked him to get him to stop.

“Soda, I-I’m-” Two-Bit let go of her arms as she struggled to sit up and reach out to him. “I didn’t mean-” He inhaled a deep breath, trying to straighten himself out.

“It’s okay,” he squeaked out. “Don’t worry about it. Are you okay?”

“It’s...been a while since I felt that kind of…”

"Hey, what smells so good?" Darry yelled from his bedroom. “Did Pony cook?” Soda wheezed a laugh.

“Not likely!” he said with a shaky, but jovial voice, as his older brother walked back into the room. Pony reached out to smack him on the arm. “It was definitely Rae. If Pony had made it, it’d be burnt to a crisp by now.” Soda winked at her, all forgiven and forgotten. The egg timer in the kitchen starting ringing and Rae pulled her hair over one shoulder as she stood up, trying to hide her red face. 

"Lasagna," she said, quietly, as she passed the oldest Curtis and went to pull the pasta out of the oven. Ponyboy silently followed her to start setting the table.

“Soda, you okay?” she heard Darry ask as she slipped an oven mitt over her hand, then tuned out the rest of the conversation.

While Rae was slicing their dinner, she heard the door squeal open and various mumbled greetings followed. 

“Oh yeah, she’s in the kitchen.”

Dally came around the corner as she was setting the knife down, ready to bring the pan to the dining room. The knot in her stomach eased a bit at the sight of his face.

“Hey, Dally.”

“Hey, kid. Thought I might catch ya’ll here.”

“Stayin’ for dinner?”

“Sure, yeah.” She nodded and went to grab an extra place setting for him. 

“It’s ready!” she called out to her friends. Everyone assembled around the small table, grabbing squares of lasagna with a spatula and digging in. 

“Sweet Jesus,” Two-Bit moaned, mouth full of pasta. “This is so damn good.” 

“So,” Dally started, cutting into his food with his fork. “Ya’ll goin’ to the rumble in Brumly on Friday?”

“There’s a rumble?” Ponybody asked, hopeful, but his older brother’s voice overpowered his.

“Absolutely not,” Darry insisted. “With the state’s eye narrowin’ in on us, we’d better skip it.”

“I was thinkin’ ‘bout takin’ Rae down to-” She perked up at the thought.

“Do you think that’s a good idea, Dally?” Darry wiped his mouth with a paper napkin. “Those Brumly boys- they can get pretty dirty and-”

“Nah, nah,” her brother interrupted. “I made sure skin only.” Darry pursed his lips and didn’t argue, although Rae could see that he really wanted to. He sighed through his nose. “Besides- Shepard’s gang’ll be there too. If anythin’ happens to her, there’ll be three of us against whoever the hell tries to mess with a Winston.”

“I’m sittin’ right here, ya know,” Rae commented, quietly. “Why do ya’ll keep talkin’ as if I ain’t here?” Dally reached over and patted her on the back. 

“Sorry, kid. Ya wanna go, right?”

“Well, duh,” she muttered, shifting the remnants of her dinner around on her plate.

“Good kid. It’ll be good for ya, to let off all that steam sittin’ in your hot head.”

“What’s the beef, anyway?” Soda asked once he’d polished off his plate. The color of his face seemed to have goon back to normal, and he didn’t seem to be in pain anymore. Rae sighed internally, relief flooding her.

“I dunno, really,” Dally said with a shrug. “Prob’ly drugs. Them Brumly boys are hittin’ the streets pretty heavy with heroin or some other shit. Wouldn’t be surprised if they sold these rich bastards a bad batch one too many times. Tim just told me about it today- didn’t go into the details. A fight’s a fight’s a fight, am I right?”

When Friday rolled around, Dallas met her at Two-Bit’s house, pumped up and ready for some action.

"No-don’t wear a jacket. It’ll hinder your movement,” Dally ordered his sister as she went to slip into her birthday present. Rae shrugged her shoulders and dropped her jacket on to the bed. She tore the t-shirt off her back and replaced it with a long-sleeved shirt. “And pull your hair back.”

She did as she was told and tied her hair back into a high, tight bun. Didn’t want to give the Socs anything to grab on to. When she was finished, then slipped her knife in the back pocket of her jeans and pulled on her Converse, her stomach tying in nervous knots.

"It stopped rainin’. It should be nice and muddy," her brother said, looking out the window of her new bedroom. He let the sheer, wispy curtains fall back into place and sat down on her bed. “Okay, ground rules. Ya don’t leave my side- unless you’re close to Tim or Curly.”

“Right.”

“Ya better not pull that knife out unless you’re threatened with a weapon first. This ain’t supposed to be a dirty fight. But, that bein’ said, this is Brumly we’re talkin’ about and it could change at any time.”

“Okay.”

“And if ya get hurt- you call one of us and we’ll come help. Got it?”

“Got it,” she said with a nod, and then clamped her lips shut. 

"Ya sure you wanna do this?" Dally asked his little sister. “You’re green as hell. Ya ain’t gonna puke on me are ya?” Rae inhaled a deep breath through her nose and let it out, slowly, trying to ease her stomach.

"No-I’m cool," she assured him. "Just a little nervous. First rumble an’ all." He nodded and stood back up.

“Aight, we’d better get movin’ or we’ll miss it.”

They took Buck’s car over and met the other boys at the Shepard house, then headed over to Brumly territory, meeting their gang in the grassy backyard of an abandoned warehouse- a place out of view so that no one called the cops. 

A few of the boys eyed her suspiciously- girls didn’t usually participate in the big fights. Dally and Tim shook hands with a few of the boys they recognized, while Curly stuck to her side like glue, his hand resting snug around her wait.

“Don’t pay attention to them. They’ll get over it,” he insisted as they filtered in among the ranks of greasers. She even spotted a few of the harder hoods- part of the River Kings, no doubt. If she weren’t around- and if not for Mr. and Mrs. Curtis- she was sure Dally’d join up with them in a split second. Compared to them, the Curtis outfit was soft as hell.

Their siblings joined them soon after, and once the sun started setting, they heard car engines mixed with shouting approaching from the front of the building. Rae pushed herself off the side of the building she was lounging on. Tim cracked his knuckles. 

“Let’s teach these momma’s boys what’s what,” he said, trying to rally them up. Curly touched the small of her back for a moment, trying to calm her nervous shaking. 

“You’ll be great,” he whispered into her ear. She gave him a slanted, feline smile. “Atta girl.” He dropped his hand as the rich kids rounded the corner. She crossed her arms over her chest as she watched a burly kid from Brumly walk up to meet who seemed to be the leader of the Soc group.

After exchanging a few words, the first punch was thrown and everything exploded into absolute chaos. The three boys around her jumped right in, but she hung back, eyeing the few left. 

When he walked up to her, she recognized him as the kid who’d beat the living hell out of Johnny. The kid who’d wanted to fight her for running into him at the roller rink. The one who tore her dress at the dance. Bob, right? Maybe it was her lucky day. He circled her like a hawk. She could feel the confident arrogance radiating off of him.

"Don't expect me to go easy on you because you're a girl," he said, his words barely reaching her ears over the noise around them. She tilted her head to the side. 

"Never expected ya to," she replied, after backing away a few steps when he started getting close. She spit on the ground. He let out a few slow chuckles, a smirk appearing on his smug face.

"And especially don't expect me to go easy on you because your daddy raped you, little girl." Rae’s eyes widened. 

_Shit._

**End of Part One**


	25. Part II Prologue

This is where I like to think everythin’ started goin’ downhill.

Well, yeah. I mean it was all shit to begin with, but this is where the shit actually hit the fan, so to speak.

I think you’re just gonna have to get used to me cussin’. It’s like a second language to me. 

If I cared whether it was lady-like, do ya think I’d be doin’ it? 

Jesus, man.

Y-yeah, I’m...havin’ a hard time wearing that jacket. As you can see I wore my denim jacket in today, even if it is in tatters. Just couldn’t stand to...well, ya know.

Oh, Carrie? Yeah, I’ve known her since I started high school a couple years ago. I didn’t really know any girls that I liked back-back in New York, but she was real eager to be my friend for some reason. We went to the same junior high, but we weren’t in the same classes. Chrissy came along with her- they’d known each other since kindergarten, I guess. 

So, I just kinda fell in with them. I ain’t real close with any of the other hood girls, but we are friendly at school, at least. Obviously, since I let them cut my hair in the middle of class, right?

Yeah, my ears are fine. All healed up now. I like ‘em. Maybe I’ll get more sometime. Maybe even a tattoo. 

Well yeah, I know I gotta be eighteen. Not like it matters much when you live on my side of town.

Describe how I felt? When? 

Oh.

Well, I was scared shitless, I suppose. You ever have a shotgun pointed to your face with a drug addict at the trigger? I wasn’t sure if I was gonna live or die there for a hot second. 

Yeah, I said that for a reason. The Curtises keep their door unlocked for a reason. Barb-uh-Mrs. Mathews has worried about it in the past. 

I’ve found myself on their couch so many times over the past five years, no questions asked. 

It’s-it’s a pretty big deal that he locked it that night.

W-What kind of question is that? I told ya about the sleepover, didn’t I? 

No, I ain’t fuckin’ slept with Curly yet. For God’s sake. And so what if I had? That’s my business.

Oh, we can _finally_ talk about the rumble now? 

No, I don’t know how that stupid kid found out- 

Yes, I’m aware that he’s dead. Honest to God, I could care less. He was mean and stupid and the world’s better off without him. I ain’t his friend- I ain’t gotta honor the memory of some punk who beat up poor people for the hell of it. He’s the reason most of us are in this mess.

Yeah, well, we’ve already _established_ that I got anger issues. That ain’t news to anyone. It runs in the family, if you haven’t noticed.

Sigh.

Look, I’m sorry. You’re right. He was just a kid. I know he wasn’t much older than me. But he was still a - what’s the word? - _vindictive_ bastard. He wasn’t just some perfect child who never did anythin’ wrong. I get that he’s human, but he was still a shitty one and you shouldn’t just dismiss that, no matter what side of town you come from. 

Nah, at this point I didn’t really talk to his girlfriend. Just a few times inside the bathroom when her friends weren’t watchin’. He couldn’t have found out from her. I think he was the one who told her, actually. So, I assume he bribed the teacher- I dunno for sure, but that’s all that really makes sense. 

Oh yeah, give ‘em a little bit of the green and they’ll dance for ya. A rich kid like that would know. He had a ton of it- and secrets he wanted to know.

And outside my gang and Mrs. Mathews, he’s the only other person who knew.

Yeah, that’s Sherry Valance. Cherry for short. 

Redhead. Porcelain skin. Not a zit on her entire body.

Ya know, a real...Soc.

She was pretty alright, in the end. 

Yeah, she helped me out more than once, but I’ll get to that later. 

I thought I’d hate her, really. She just...looks the type, ya know?

I sure pegged her as a stuck-up bitch, but I think she’ll grow on me. Seems pretty...what’s the word? 

Oh, uh, genuine. I guess. 

She said she’d be my college roommate if I ever wanna go to college. Maybe it sounds kinda dumb- but I think I’d like that.

Oh, I dunno. You see many greasers go off to college?

Well, yeah. Up ‘til this point in the story I wasn’t real sure about her. What’s that word she used? _Hostile._ She called me hostile towards her. 

Lookin’ back, I was pretty mean. I kinda regret it, now.

Alright, alright. You wanna hear this story or not?

Thank you. Lord.

So anyway, this is where I feel is the beginning of the end- and we’re only halfway through. 

Poetic, don’t ya think?

The only problem was figurin’ out when the last straw would be- and when he would turn me in.


	26. Puncture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I kinda disappeared there for a couple weeks. I was posting on Tumblr but I didn't feel up to posting anywhere else. I'm back now, though!

Time seemed to slow after the words slipped out of his mouth. 

_Don't expect me to go easy on you because your daddy raped you, little girl._

Rae’s body went rigid as the words played over again in her mind, a chill making its way up her spine, and it wasn't from the cold, post-rain wind or the dropping temperature. Her eyes widened. She stared at him in shock. When he saw her reaction, Bob’s cynical smile grew wider, his perfectly straight, white teeth peeking out between his lips.

"You heard me right, greaseball," he said, his slimy, malicious voice slithering through her head, distracting her. 

Distracting her.

She broke from her trance and clenched her teeth as she tried to regain her concentration. She pulled her hands into fists and dropped into the stance Dally had showed her. She’d have to deal with his words after she dealt with him.

"Let’s go, little girl, if you think you can take me."

But she waited. Defense until there was no other choice. Rae watched him, breathing steadily, waiting for him to become impatient and throw the first punch. She tried to push his words out of her head. When the punch finally came, everything happened quickly. 

He hurled his fist at her, but she lifted her arm and forced his hand past her head. The ring that had hurt Johnny so badly scraped her cheek. She forced his arm away and lifted her leg to kick him in the stomach. Bob caught it at the last millisecond with his free hand and pushed her foot away from his body. She stumbled backwards, struggling to free herself. When he finally released her, he didn’t wait for her to regain her balance and propelled his fist towards her stomach. She turned slightly and he caught her in the side. 

“Fuck,” she hissed, backing away, trying not to fall on her ass. She pressed a hand over the spot he’d struck.

Bob didn’t wait for the pain to ease before he came after her again. She saw him moving out of the corner of her eye and raised her arm in time to catch his hand again, but immediately shifted to her other side and smashed him in the cheek. 

She wasn’t supposed to go for the face, but it seemed like a missed opportunity with this one.

Rae sucked in a pained breath when her knuckles collided with his skull. He stopped for a moment, stunned. She’d have laughed if her hand didn’t hurt so damn much.

"That's it," Bob growled. “Enough games.” 

While her guard was down, he grabbed her by the arm and threw her into the mud. Thankfully the earth was soft and the impact didn’t hurt much but-

She moved quickly, trying to stand up before he could-

Bob put his foot down on the middle of her back. She could feel the wet dirt on his shoe seeping through her shirt. With all her strength, she tried to force herself up, tried to push his leg up, but her hands slipped in the ground as she was suddenly in the same position as _that_ night. 

The driveway at her father’s house flashed before her eyes. The house. The porch light. Her backpack seemingly miles away from her reach with the glint of her switchblade handle peeking out of the pocket. Panic. Panic shot its way through her veins- but there was something else too. Something dark. Something that had been there all this time, but was now, finally free.

The flash faded and she was back in the empty lot behind the warehouse, covered in mud with a Soc holding her down with his foot. 

“This is what you get for messin’ with a Soc,” Bob said, above her. Rae gritted her teeth. 

"Save it," she ordered.

"I'm sorry, grease. What was that?" She felt his hold on her back ease up a little, thinking he’d won.

"Save it, you white, fucking trash!" she yelled and pushed against his leg with all her might. The sudden force and surprise made him pitch backwards. 

“Whoa-shit!” He stumbled backwards, eventually losing his balance and dropped to the ground. 

While Bob was down, she quickly pushed him back into the dirt, leaving a footprint on his chest. She realized it was a stupid, prideful mistake when he grabbed her foot and twisted it. She cried out in pain and anger, and with a knee-jerk reaction, kicked him in the chin, despite his best efforts to stop it. 

The Soc dropped, his hands going limp and falling to his sides in the dirt. The darkness in her soul eased a little. 

Rae blew out a heavy breath and looked towards Curly. His grinned, teeth covered in red. Blood was dripping from the corner of his mouth and he gave her a quick thumb’s up before getting tackled. She shook her head. He was absolutely loving this.

But as soon as Rae had turned her back, someone jumped her from behind. She felt the sharp end of a cold knife press against the side her throat. She struggled, but he had a tight grip on her. 

“Now, now,” Bob’s voice said.

God damn. Would she ever be rid of this asshole?

“Can’t let you best me, can I?” he whispered into her ear, causing her to violently jerk her head to the side. He moved the blade away from her throat- of course, he’d never intentionally kill her, he was still just a kid. She spun around to face him, but paused when she saw his face.

His eyes were wide, staring down at his hand. 

She followed his gaze and saw her own knife sticking out of her shoulder, sunk in almost all the way to the shield. Well, that was alarming. Why-why couldn’t she feel it? 

Bob was still clutching the handle. She could feel his hand shaking. He slid it out of her body.

Okay, that she could feel. And it fucking hurt.

She let out a whimper as blood started pouring out, mixing with the mud on her shirt. Bob pushed her away from him, and stared down at the blood on his own hands. He looked just as shocked as she was. He looked...almost human.

He fucking- he fucking stabbed her with her own knife. When had he even taken it?

She stumbled backwards, and put a hand over the cut, but moved it away when she realized her hand was covered in mud.

"Dally?" she asked, voice barely above a whisper. 

Bob seemed to recover faster than her and plastered a smug grin on his face again. He sheathed the bloody knife in his hand, her knife, and dropped it into the chest pocket of his red and blue Madras. 

"That your mighty protector?" he asked, looking towards her older brother. “He seems pretty tied-up right now, doesn’t he?” She glanced toward Dally, his shock of blonde hair dancing fluidly around.

Bob opened his mouth to say something else but was bulldozed by Tim Shepard. The Soc fell to the ground with the greaser on top of him. Tim sat up and punched Bob clear in the nose. Rae heard an audible crack and saw a lot of blood.

“What do you fuckers not understand about ‘no weapons’?” He asked, peering down, brown eyes crazy as hell. Bob squirmed under him. Tim looked around and saw the Socs retreating. “Next time, kid, it’ll be your own blood on your hands.” He wiped the mud on his hands down Bob’s face, but let him up to join his friends, then made his way to Rae. “You okay?”

“No-he-,” she started, looking at the blood soaking the arm of her shirt. Her other hand shakily hovered over the cut, but not quite touching. Tim hurried over to her, trying to take a closer look. He tore the sleeve from her shirt and let it slide down her arm. 

“Fuck,” he said, quietly, then turned, looking around. “Dally!”

Before he could make it to them, Curly showed up at his brother’s side, wiping the blood from his lips with the back of his hand. He eyed her shoulder as well.

“Holy shit,” he marvelled. “That looks deep.”

“It-it was all the way in. Did it go all the way through?” Tim turned her, slightly, and blinked in surprise, his eyebrows high on his forehead. 

“Yeah, it did. We might need to stitch you up.” She looked down at the wound. It was clean-except for the blood dripping down her arm, of course. The pain she could deal with but seeing the cut in her body, it made her feel…

Rae’s head swam and she was suddenly leaning heavily into the older Shepard brother. He snaked his arm around her waist to support her. Her body felt light.

“Whoa, whoa- okay.” His voice sounded far away. “I’m gonna sit you down on the ground, okay? Don’t pass out on me.” He eased her back down into the dirt. She felt the cold mud seep into her jeans again, making her shiver.

“No promises,” she breathed, unsure whether she actually said it aloud. Curly sat down next to her and Tim leaned her against his brother, then went off to find Dally. The younger Shepard wrapped his arm around her and she laid her head on his shoulder. He lifted his other hand and pressed the heel of his palm against a temple. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Just a headache. Some jackass kicked me in the head.”

Dally finally appeared, sliding to a stop in front of her, Tim on his heels. He knelt down by her shoulder. He wiped his hands on his still relatively clean shirt and put his hand on her shoulder. She sucked in an audible breath and Curly held her still. Her brother took the sleeve still dangling from her wrist and went to wrap it around the cut. Rae turned her head to watch, but Curly lifted his arm and forced her to look at him instead. 

“Don’t-”

It didn’t seem the matter. The movement- the pain-

“Rae?”

She slumped against him and everything went black.


	27. Wound

Rae’s eyes fluttered open. The sun was shining through the window and onto her face, making her squint. There was a dull throb in her shoulder. For a long moment, she couldn't remember what had happened, but after a few peaceful seconds of warmth and comfort, it started coming back to her. 

The Brumly rumble. 

She’d fought the kid who beat up Johnny- who wanted to beat the shit out of her because she ran into him on accident. 

He’d stabbed her in the shoulder with her own knife, then pocketed it and left with his buddies. 

She was back in Sodapop Curtis’s abandoned bedroom, wearing a bloody, but dry, camisole, and a pair of pajama pants. Her arm was tightly bound, and the pain was minimal- at least for now. She pushed herself up into a sitting position with her free hand and laid her injured arm in her lap. She heard movement to her right and looked to see the honey-blonde God himself shifting in one of the dining room table chairs. He was leaning back with his eyes closed, and breathing steadily. 

“Soda?” she asked softly, reaching out to touch his leg. His eyes opened and he watched her through a sleepy haze before realization struck him, and his eyes widened. 

"Hey, you’re finally awake!" Sodapop Curtis exclaimed, leaning towards her, elbows on his thighs. “How ya feelin’?”

“Mm...okay,” she answered, sweeping the fingers of her good hand through her hair to tame her bed-head. “It hurts a little, but not too bad. How long was I out?” He looked at the clock sitting on the bedside table.

“Not very. It’s Saturday, close to noon.”

“How did I end up here?”

“Dally, of course,” he mused. “Brought ya here instead of goin’ back to Two-Bit’s. Didn’t want his mom to freak out.”

“Oh- right.” 

“You didn’t wait up with me all night, did you?”

“No, no,” he assured her. “A few of us took shifts. Didn’t want you to wake up and need help with no one here to-” She pushed the blanket back, and tried to slide out of bed, but without the use of her other arm, she struggled. Soda was at her side in an instant, lifting her to her feet. Her knees wobbled a bit and she grabbed his arm to steady herself. “Okay, okay,” he said, softly. “Take it easy. Ya ain’t had nothin’ to eat or drink since yesterday. Slow down.” He led her to the dining room and dropped her into a wooden chair, then hurried away with the promise of a glass of water and some Aspirin.

She hoped Bob was feeling just as miserable as she was after three blows to the head and a broken nose. God, she couldn’t wait to see his bruised face on Monday morning. 

Rae downed what Soda gave her. Her friend disappeared again, but this time out the front door. She heard voices coming from outside. Dally was inside quick as lightning, and met her at the table. 

“Feelin’ okay?” he asked her, the smell of tobacco still on his breath. She nodded.

“Prob’ly better once the pills start kickin’ in.” He sat down next to her and she motioned to the bandage wrapped around her shoulder. “Who cleaned me up?”

“Well, Tim was gonna stitch the cut up, but not long after you passed out, Curly got real dizzy, puked in the mud, and keeled over with you still leanin’ on him. Ya’ll were a sight. Tim had to drag his ass home- prob’ly a concussion. Stupid kid.” Rae gave him a look. “What? It’s the truth, ain’t it? Anyway, I got ya in the car and drove ya here. Evie’s real good with sewin’, ya know, so Steve asked her to come on over and stitch up your arm.”

“Evie? Really?”

“Well, we couldn’t take ya to the hospital, ya know?” Dally let out a soft laugh. “She wasn’t real happy, as you can imagine. Went green in the face a couple times, but she managed. She’s gonna come over again later and help you get a shower and stuff.”

She could feel the painkillers spreading through her body as he finished explaining. The pain nearly vanished. She gripped the table and stood up, taking a moment to balance herself. Without thinking, she stretched her arms. She felt the thread pull and a shock of pain ran down her arm. She gasped, then relaxed her arm again and watched as the gauze around her shoulder soaked through with a little blood. The sudden sight of red against white made her head light.

“Shit.” Rae clutched the table again for a few seconds until her head normalized.

“Take it easy, kid.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m goin’ outside. I think I could use some fresh air.”

“Alright, but just on the porch,” he instructed. 

“Yeah, cause I’m gonna go walkin’ down the street in my bloody undershirt.”

“Hey, don’t get mouthy with me, kid.” 

Her brother stood and laid his own jacket across her shoulders, and she went out to find Two-Bit, Johnny, and Soda outside, chatting. She took a deep breath, letting the cool air fill her lungs.

“Rae!” Johnny exclaimed, unfolding himself from his slouch. She smiled at him, watching his big eyes sparkle for the first time in weeks. “How’s your shoulder?”

“Oh, it’s okay. Just took some aspirin, so I should be set for a while.”

Two-Bit came up behind and surprised her with a clap on the back. She pitched forward a little, not expecting it. At least it wasn’t on the injured side.

“Cool it, Two-Bit!” Soda ordered, loudly, grabbing her arm to make sure she didn’t fall off the porch. 

“Oh-right. Sorry,” her friend apologized. He reached into the inside of his jacket and pulled out an off-white canvas sling. “Swiped this at the drugstore for ya. Figured it might help.” Rae took it with her good hand and examined it.

“Thanks. I’ll have Evie help me with it when she gets here.”

“No prob, no prob,” he responded with a nod. “Anyway, I gotta use the _facilities_. Be back.” 

Soda followed Two-Bit inside, saying he wanted to get lunch started. Rae slowly lowered herself into one of the lawn chairs occupying the porch. Johnny was sitting on the top step, leaning against the pillar, a cigarette lit between his fingers. She leaned back in her seat. 

“Heard you took on old Bob last night,” he said, staring off down the street, his eyes squinting in the sunlight.

“Yeah,” she confirmed. “Got him pretty good. Twice in the face and Tim broke his nose.” Her small friend nodded and took a drag.

“Good,” he said, when he’d exhaled the smoke. 

“I got a bad feeling it ain’t over, though. He don’t like to be bested at his own game.” She let out a breath. “And he knew.”

Johnny choked on his cigarette and looked at her, alarmed, but before another word could escape his mouth, Evie appeared at the front gate, her wavy brown hair flowing down her back. She greeted them with her pretty, bright smile and a wave. He closed his mouth, and concentrated on finishing his cancer stick.

Once Evie had helped her out of her clothes, she took a good look at the cut. Rae couldn’t bring herself to look at it. She didn’t want to faint again. Once she confirmed that none of the stitches were pulled and the bleeding had stopped, the older girl helped her in the shower, tightly bound a fresh gauze bandage around her shoulder again, and then put her in a new change of clothes. It was a long process without the use of an entire arm, but they managed. 

The two girls sat at the dining room table a while later, eating the turkey sandwiches and potato chips Soda had prepared for lunch. Once they’d finished, Evie started messing with the adjustable strap of the sling while Rae combed out her wet hair. When she was done, Evie slipped it over Rae’s head and set her injured arm in it.

“How is it? Comfortable?”

“Yeah, it feels fine,” Rae said, setting the comb on the table. “I really appreciate this, Evie. I know we ain’t close or anything.”

“Hey, it ain’t nothin’, kid,” she said, waving her off. “Glad to help. And look- if you need anything-” The older girl eyed Rae, closely. “-anything at all, just come on over. I’ll put you up.”

Rae looked up in alarm. Evie stretched her arm across the table and placed her hand over Rae’s.

“It’s okay. I won’t tell nobody.”

“But-”

“Look, I didn’t exactly get blessed with a great home life, either, okay? Don’t be mad at Steve- he only told me ‘cause he thought maybe I could help. He’s real worried. They-We...we all are. So just-” She smiled, a genuine, soft smile. “You can count on me, too.” Rae’s hesitation melted away and she felt her eyes well with water.

“Thank you, Evie.”

“Good girl.” Evie stood from her seat and wiped away a tear slithering it’s way down Rae’s cheek. “I’m gonna get. Meetin’ Sandy over at the mall, later. Wanna get all pretty.” She winked, and floated out the door, saying her goodbyes to the boys on her way. Rae went back to the bathroom to clean up the mess they’d left behind. Dally followed her a couple minutes later.

“Better?” 

“Much,” she said with a sigh of relief. In more than one way, she didn’t say. "Can we go visit Curly?" 

“Sure, if ya want. Go ask Two-Bit to drive ya, though. Buck needed his car today so I ain’t got no wheels.” She zipped up the last of her dirty clothes in the backpack her friend had brought from his house and scampered off to find him.


	28. Visit

"Don't be gone too long," Dally said, leaning into the open passenger side window of Two-Bit’s car. His sister nodded.

“Just wanna see how he’s doin’.” He stood up straight. Rae noticed he watched until they were out of his line of sight. 

It didn’t take too long to get to Shepard territory when driving, but Two-Bit wanted to stop at the Dingo first.

"Let's get something to eat first, huh, kid?" Two-Bit asked.

"Are you a bottomless pit or somethin’?” she asked, lifting an eyebrow. “We just ate lunch.”

“Hey, I’m a growin’ boy. I gotta eat more than just a little turkey on some bread.”

"Alright, fine," she started. “But I wanna take a couple of shakes over to Tim and Curly and you’re payin’.” 

When they got there, she sat across the table from him, occasionally stealing a fry or two. 

"So, I-I gotta tell ya somethin’ Two-Bit," she said after swallowing a sip of Coke. He lowered his burger from his face for a second. “And you can’t tell Dally. I don’t think his anger’ll do any good. It’d prob’ly just make it worse. But it’s weighin’ on my mind and I gotta tell someone.”

“Alright,” he confirmed, and then took a bite. 

"I don’t know how he found out- but that kid I fought. The one from the roller rink,” She bit her lip and started picking at the hair ties at her wrist. “He knew.”

"He knew?” Two-Bit said, incredulously, dropping his burger onto the foil wrap. “And you don’t want to tell Dally? Are you out of your mind?”

“No- please, chill-”

“That kid’s a Soc, Rae. And he’s got it out for you.”

“I know, I know, but-”

“He could go to the fuzz at any time.”

"I know. But, he’s waitin’ for somethin’. He knows, yeah, but he ain’t turned us in yet. If we tell Dally- and Dally kicks the shit outta him- don’t you think he’d do it for revenge?”

"I don't know," he replied, scratching at his sideburns. “We need to talk to my mom real soon.” Rae blew out a deep breath.

“Just...finish your food. I’m gonna go get the shakes. We can talk about it later.”

"Alright, fine," Two-Bit sighed, but she could tell his appetite had disappeared. She got up and went back to the counter. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her friend staring out the window, picking at the skin on his bottom lip. 

The rest of the ride over to the Shepard’s was virtually silent. She couldn’t tell if he was angry at her- but she thought he was more nervous than angry. When he’d stopped on the curb outside the house, she got out and stood on the sidewalk while waiting for him to come around. 

She felt a sudden pain in her shoulder as someone bumped her elbow from behind. She hissed and watched as two kids a couple years younger than her walked past. 

"Sorry," the kid mumbled under his breath as he kept walking.

"Mark," his friend whispered. "You have to watch where you're goin’."

"Hey!" Two-Bit yelled from her other side, milkshakes in hand. The two boys stopped and looked back at him.

"What?" Mark asked.

"Don't ‘what’ me, you little shit. Get back here and apologize right. You hurt her," her friend demanded.

"I said, 'sorry' already.” The kid looked at his friend, who gave him a look. Finally, he sighed and walked back up to Rae.

"I'm sorry for running into you," he said, angrily, his face going red. She shrugged with her good arm and he went back to the other boy. The two turned and started back in their own direction, talking quietly. "See, Bryon? She didn't even care."

"You didn't have to do that, you know," she said to Two-Bit, who shrugged.

"Brat needs to learn some manners.” 

"Look what the cat dragged in," Tim’s voice came from behind them. They both turned to see him leaning in the open doorway of his house. “Thought I heard ya’ll out here. Come on in.” Rae took a good look at him while they made their way up the front steps. He looked pretty okay- didn’t get beat up too badly, she supposed, but he was always real good in a fight. Experience, probably, although she was always curious how he ended up with that long-ass scar down the side of his face but never had the courage to ask. 

"Is Curly here?" she inquired as he led them through to the kitchen. 

"Back in his room. Prob’ly got a concussion," he said and accepted one of the shakes from Two-Bit. “Thanks, man.” He sucked in a mouthful through the straw. “Here, I’ll take you to him.” 

“Sure, thanks.” He led her down a short hallway, to the last door on the left and knocked.

"Hey, shitface, you got some visitors," Tim said through the wood. “Now, don’t be shocked. He ain’t got a lick of grease in his hair.” She stifled a giggle. A muffled “come in” came from the other side and he opened the door to let her in. Curly sat lounging against his headboard, copies of The Avengers sitting in his lap, his long, dark hair light and fluffy, combed and tied back so it wasn’t in his face. Tim took Two-Bit and went back out to the front room.

"Didn’t peg you as a comic book reader," Rae said as she sat down on the edge of his bed and handed over the milkshake. “Dally used to read comics when we were kids.”

“Don’t got nothin’ else to do," he said and smiled. He inspected her face. "Don’t look like you got beat up too bad.” She shrugged out of her jacket. His eyes widened in alarm when he saw the sling. “What happened?”

“You don’t remember? You were there.”

“Nah, don’t remember much. That kick to the head must’ve been worse than I thought.”

“That Soc shoved a knife blade into my arm.”

“Hope you beat this shit outta him for it. Is it deep?”

“Tim had my back. Broke his nose. And yeah- went all the way through. Steve’s girlfriend came and stitched it up for me, though.” She jerked her head in his direction. “You look like shit, yourself. Lose any teeth?”

"Nah," he answered. "Just a little ache in the ol’ noggin.” She rolled her eyes.

“I’m surprised. Your mouth was all red when you smiled at me last night.”

“Whatever. I think you prob’ly win the ‘worst injury’ award.” Curly shook his head. “Don’t know why I’m surprised. Those fucks break the rules all the time.”

"Don’t worry about it. Just make sure you get better quick-like, got it?" she demanded. He reached out and threaded his fingers in hers for a moment and smiled. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his. “We’d better get goin’. Just wanted to see how you were holdin’ up. Make sure you weren’t in a coma or some shit.” He squeezed her hand, then let go of it and opened one of the comics in his lap.

“Alright. I got some very important readin’ to do, anyway.” He smirked, which made her giggle. 

“Get you a pair of glasses and you’ll look like a real nerd.” 

“Yeah, too bad I’m dumb as shit.” With a loud laugh, Rae grabbed her jacket and made her way to the front room. 

“Ready to go?” Two-Bit asked her, looking up from the TV. 

“Think so,” she replied, a smile still on his face. He got up and slung her jacket over her shoulders.

“Leavin’ already?” Tim asked, poking his head out from the kitchen. “Ya’ll could stay for dinner if you wanted- mom ain’t home, so I’ll be cookin’.”

“Nah- Dally wanted me back home early. Thanks, though,” she said with a smile. “I didn’t know you could cook too.” He shrugged.

“It ain’t nothin’ special, but it's edible.” When Two-Bit headed out the door to get his car started, Tim came around the corner, wiping his hands on a dishrag. 

“Look, kid,” he started, walking up to her. “I’m sure Curly prob’ly told ya that we threw Angel into a rehab center.”

“Yeah, he might’a mentioned it.”

“I just wanted to tell ya that I’m, well, sorry.” Her eyebrows shot up. The day she figured she’d get any kind of apology from _the_ Tim Shepard for any reason, hell would’ve frozen over.

“You feelin’ okay?”

“Look, Dally’s my buddy and all and even if she is my sister- what she did ain’t right. For what it’s worth- I think she’s sorry, but I can never tell with that girl.” 

“Well, I-I’m sorry that it had to happen the way that it did. But, it means a lot, comin’ from you.” She smiled at him. “So, thanks. Maybe she and I can have a chat when she comes home, yeah?”

“You’re alright, kid,” he said with a smile and clapped her on the good shoulder. “Get that arm healed up quick.” She nodded.

“Good as new in no time,” she confirmed and turned to head back to the car. “Later.”


	29. Chat

“Chill out, man,” Rae whispered, elbowing her brother in the side. “It’s just Mrs. Mathews. We’ve known her forever.”

A few days after the rumble, they both sat at the dining room table in Two-Bit’s house. Her brother kept fidgeting and tapping his fingers on the surface of the table. Their friend had finally broken the news to his mother and here they were- sitting down for a little chat.

“We ain’t ever talked to an adult about this kinda shit before. Makes me nervous,” he responded, shrugging her off. 

“You know she ain’t like a cop or anything,” she mumbled as Two-Bit’s mom came in from the kitchen, holding a tray with several glasses. The door swung closed behind her and she set down two cups of milk in front of them. There was a glass of sweet tea for herself and a plate of homemade cookies. 

“I’m really happy that you kids reached out to me,” she started after she’d sat down across from them. “I’m...I know that your home life has never been great but I had no idea it was...this bad.” Rae looked down into her cup, not sure of what to say. The older woman reached out and gently placed a hand overtop of hers. “Honey, I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

“I-I don’t remember much about it, really,” she sighed. “But I don’t wanna to go back there.”

“And you shouldn’t have to. That’s why we’re here right? You’re afraid you’ll get caught or turned in and wind up shipped off to New York. Or somewhere away from your friends. I think that’s pretty much what Keith told me.” Rae nodded. 

“I know that it’s a lot to ask-,” Dally said, finally entering the conversation. She waved one of her hands to quiet him.

“Dallas, I’ve known you kids since you were young. You know that I’d help as much as I can- Honestly, I thought that…” Mrs. Mathews sighed. “I thought maybe the Curtises would take you in permanently, even with their three boys, but, well…”

A silence stretched between them. Finally, Rae took a deep breath.

“I just want to feel safe.” She watched Dally stare a hole in the tablecloth. His ice blue eyes were intense. Two-Bit’s mom noticed it too. 

“I know this is hard for you,” she said to him. “I know that you have taken care of her all her life.” He looked up at her, his expression softening a little. “Keith has told me a lot about you two. Don’t like to ask for help. Want to stay together.” She lit up a cigarette and offered one to Dally. “Here, calm down a little, sweetheart. It’s gonna be okay. Just because you’ll be living separately don’t mean you’ll be apart.”

“Thanks,” he said, quietly, and took it. He took a drag of it and sighed, the smoke rolling out over his lips. 

“I’d take you in, too, Dallas, but I don’t think you want that, do you?”

“No-no, ma’am, he answered. “I’m eighteen soon, anyway. It’s just-”

“They’d never let you be her guardian?” Dally nodded. “I wish ya’ll had told me yourselves, and a lot earlier, but I understand. Especially after seein’ how the state handles matters with those poor boys, I can see why you didn’t want to.” There was distaste in her voice.

Mrs. Mathews put the butt of her cigarette out when she was finished and dropped it into the glass ashtray on the table.

“I want you to listen to me,” Mrs. Mathews started again. “I’ve looked into it already. Asked around. I didn’t file the paperwork yet since I wanted to make absolutely sure this is what you wanted. But once I do, it-it could take a while to be approved. Phone calls, home visits, interviews.”

“Will-will you tell them about my father? About what happened?”

“Not unless you want me to, honey. I planned on just tellin’ them that your daddy hits you, which shouldn’t be a surprise since they know Dallas pretty well. Tell them that you’ve been living with me for a while now since your home ain’t fit for livin’ in and we just wanted to make it more official.” Rae nodded.

“I just want this to be over,” she sighed. “I don’t wanna to have to see him again.”

“We’ll do our best, okay?” She looked at her brother who was still sitting silently in his seat. His cigarette was nearly finished, but he didn’t look anymore relaxed. If she were being honest, her stomach was tying itself in knots, too. “But in the meantime, I think it best if we go along with what we’re gonna tell the state, okay? I know we cleaned out the extra bedroom for you but from now on I think you should sleep here every night. Just in case the caseworker stops by to check in.”

“Okay,” Rae agreed. “That’s-that’s probably a good idea. What do you think, Dally?”

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “Yeah, thats fine.”

“Dallas, you know you’re always welcome to visit,” Mrs. Mathews told him. “I think it’d be good for you, too.” He huffed a quiet laugh. “I’m serious, honey. You’re a good kid-” 

“Good?” he asked, incredulously, his usual swagger back in an instant.

“A little rough around the edges, sure, but the way I seen you care for your sister over the years...dear Lord, you must have the patience of a saint judging by the way my two fight all the time.”

Rae bit back her own laugh. Dally, good? She loved her brother most in this world, and definitely looked up to him. But would she ever describe him as good?

“It’ll be good for the state to see that you care a lot about your sister. That maybe your record isn’t all you are.” Finally, he managed a smile.

“Sorry, Mrs. M, but I don’t think nothin’ll save me now.” She smiled as well. 

“You never know. Alright, kids. Dallas, why don’t you stay for a while and I’ll get dinner started?”

“Well, actually, why don’t we go get Two-Bit from the Curtis’s? I think we could use a breath of fresh air,” Rae offered. 

“Sounds good, honey. Be back soon. Dinner won’t take long.”

Rae pushed up from her chair and headed for the front door, her brother following not far behind. Once they were outside, Dally blew out a long breath.

“I guess that went well?” she said, sliding her good hand into the back pocket of her jeans as they walked down the sidewalk.

“I still ain’t sure about this, if I’m bein’ honest,” he admitted, lighting up one of his own cigarettes. 

“I don’t think we have a choice now. We’ve been too lucky. Sooner or later, we’ll get caught. And then what? I ain’t goin’ to New York. I ain’t leavin’-”

“Alright, alright.” He took a drag and exhaled the smoke. “You’re right. God, for once you’re usin’ your damn head. If I wasn’t so nervous, I’d be more proud.” Rae sighed and watched as their destination came into view. The sun was beginning to set behind the house. She figured Ponyboy would love it.

Sure enough, as the siblings crossed the small, grassy backyard, they found the youngest Curtis brother sitting on the porch with a paperback book in one hand, a cigarette in the other. Dally flicked his out and over the fence as they approached. Pony turned when he heard the grass rustling behind him.

“Hey guys.” Rae went around the front and took the steps up. She put her hand in his hair and shook it to mess it up. “Hey!” He slapped her arm away. Dally laughed at him as he jumped up from the side of the porch. She smiled, and wiped her greasy hand on her jeans.

“Two-Bit inside?” she asked as he smoothed his hair back down. 

“Yeah, go on in.” She hopped up the stairs and followed her brother inside to fetch their friend for dinner.


	30. Knife

The next few weeks passed quickly and peacefully. The fuss that Two-Bit’s mom made over Rae’s shoulder was probably the worst thing that happened. Although she wasn’t happy about it, she agreed to keep the hospital out of it, but insisted on caring for it herself. She’d check the stitches and change the bandaging every morning before the teens went off to school.

After a couple weeks, Barb- she’d told Rae to call her by her first name- was able to snip the sutures and deemed the cut mostly healed. She advised her ward(for lack of a better word) to leave the Band Aid off and let it breathe, but make sure it was kept clean. 

In those weeks, she and Rae got along real well. On nights they were both home, they’d cook together, Barb teaching the teenager new dishes and tricks. Two-Bit often wandered into the kitchen after hearing them laughing while he was trying to watch TV in the living room.

“What’s so funny?” he asked one day, stealing a few small squares of diced tomato laid out on the cutting board. He popped them into his mouth.

“Oh, I was teachin’ Rae here how to make a roux to thicken up sauces and she said-”

“I _roux_ the day-” She couldn’t finish her sentence and collapsed into a fit of giggles again. She could swear she saw a relieved smile spread across her friend’s face. Mrs. Mathews carefully watched her, as well, a fond smile on her face. Their looks of worry had gradually faded over time.

And rightly so. She felt good here. Safe. Dally visited a couple times a week for dinner, a request from both his sister and Barb- and she saw him more often when they went to the Curtis house to hang out with the boys. Rae knew he was pleased now, maybe even grateful, for how things were turning out, even if he was incredibly unsure at first. He tried to hand over money he’d earned to Mrs. Mathews, but she’d tucked it back into his hand, saying he needed it more. Of course, then he’d secretly shoved it into Two-Bit’s pocket with a whispered order to buy groceries and anything his sister needed for school.

The best part of the weeks the past was that the siblings hadn’t seen hide nor hair of their father- and Dally hadn’t given up looking, exactly, but he _finally_ understood- probably thanks, in part, to Mrs. Mathews- his sister needed him around much more than she needed her dad bloodied up. They could only hope that he was dead in a ditch somewhere with a needle sticking out of his arm. 

For the first time in, well, maybe their entire lives, smiling came easy to the Winston siblings. Finally, things were starting to look up. 

“Ya’ll are crazy,” Two-Bit said with a shake of his head. He pointed at Rae in mock seriousness. “And don’t you stain my shirt or I’ll whip you.” She looked down at the giant Mickey Mouse smiling up at her, the grey shirt hanging off her small body. It enveloped her, really. 

“Yeah, yeah.”

“I mean it!”

“There’s a huge hole under the arm!” She lifted her arm to demonstrate. The tear went from armpit to waist.

“It’s Mickey!”

“Keith, set the table, will you? Leave poor Rae alone.” She gave him a triumphant smile as he went for the cabinet to retrieve the plates. “Sibling” rivalry settled in well between the two. Mrs. Mathews then turned to her. “Could you go get Suzie for me? Tell her dinner’s just about ready.”

“Sure, of course.” And off she went to find the other Mathews kid.

Later that night, she and Two-Bit were sitting on his giant bed, playing hands of poker. They were betting pennies and candy and so far Rae had the upper hand. She was chewing on the end of a Winston candy cigarette as she concentrated on her current hand.

“Three of a kind,” he said, laying out his cards on the sheets. One side of her lips tilted upward.

“Full house,” she bragged and set her cards down in a row. He scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“Unbelievable. Lady Luck seems your friend tonight, huh?” Rae pulled the pot towards the rest of her winnings. She crunched down the rest of the candy stick and swallowed. “If we were playing strip poker this time, you’d be looking at my beautiful, nude-”

“I’l give ya a dime if ya don’t finish that sentence.”

“Fine, hand it over.” She tossed over his payment and went to separate the candy from the rest of the money.

“Hey, Two-Bit?”

“Yeah?”

“D’ya think you could do me a favor?”

“Depends what it is.” He started gathering the cards up to shuffle again, but paused when he noticed she’d stopped and was snapping the elastic ponytail holders around her wrist. 

“So, uh, that night at the rumble,” she started, shoving her hands under her thighs to stop her nervous fidgeting. “Y’know, Bob took my knife. I was wonderin’ if you could maybe...get me another one?”

“That all?” he asked with an arrogant smile. “Honey, you’re talkin’ to the best thief this side of town.” He started dealing the cards out again. “How about we do a little _shoppin’_ tomorrow?”

“Sounds great,” Rae answered with a smile and picked up her hand. 

The next morning, true to his word, Two-Bit woke her up, ready to head out and check out some possible hits. They went to multiple stores but nothing caught her eye. Everything just seemed so...normal. 

“Well, what about this one?” her friend asked, flipping the blade out. She pursed her lips and shrugged. “It looks a lot like mine, huh? Pretty tuff.”

“Mine was different, though. One of a kind.”

“Kinda like you?” Rae rolled her eyes.

“That was really corny,” she replied with a shake of her head, but a smile formed on her lips nonetheless. Two-Bit stopped suddenly. He pointed at her.

“I had a thought.”

“What kinda thought?”

“What if we went to that kid’s house and just... _took_ it back?” Rae hesitated, her smile fading away.

“I don’t think that’s a great idea, Two-Bit.”

“Why not?” he asked as they continued on their walk around the department store. “What’s he care about a stupid knife? He won’t even noticed it’s gone.” She chewed on her bottom lip, balling her hands into fists inside the pockets of her jacket. 

“I guess,” she agreed, finally, although she was still unsure. Her stomach was tying in nervous knots. She had a very bad idea about this.

A store employee came around the corner and crossed his arms, watching them intently. Her friend let out a chuckle at the sight and put a hand between her shoulder blades.

“Let’s get outta here.” 

Two nights later, Rae anxiously paced a trail in the front room carpet. It was well after midnight on the weekend. Bob’s parents were sure to be asleep while the Soc himself was probably down by the river throwing a rager. She ground her teeth, nervously.

Two-Bit insisted that she stay behind, that he could handle this himself. He’d never broken into a house before, but-

“How hard could it be?” he’d said to her before flashing his prize-winning smile and taking off. 

Finally, she heard the door handle twist and her friend pushed his way inside, out of breath. 

“Gettin’ chilly out, huh?” was the first thing out of his mouth. She frowned and slapped his arm in frustration.

“You’ve been gone forever!”

“Well, ya know, it takes a certain sorta finesse-”

“I’ve been worried as hell, Two-Bit!” He grabbed her shoulders and looked her square in the eye.

“Kid, it’s alright,” he assured her. “I’m here, ain’t I? I’m alright.” She huffed out a sigh.

“Fine. Did you get it?”

“Did I- did I get it?” He gave an incredulous laugh. “Who do you think I am?” Her friend reached into the pocket in the breast of his leather jacket and pulled out the blue-handled switchblade. He laid it into her waiting palm. Rae wrapped her fingers around the cool metal and gripped it, tightly. “Alright, let’s get to bed, huh? I’m exhausted.”

“Fine,” she huffed, but kept her hand curled around her knife, tightly. “Thank you, Two-Bit.”

With that, he put a hand on the small of her back and led her back to their bedrooms.


End file.
